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Fertility Network UK
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First cycle BFN 😔

So today was OTD after our first 3dt and it was a BFN...not even a hint if a second line. I'm so sick of seeing negative tests 😢

People keep saying 'stay positive', 'you have can more tries' blah blah blah...they just don't get it do they?

Also, after telling the mother in law, the very next thing she asks is of my other half has sorted buying the school photos for a child that might be his with his ex (loooooong story!!) Talk about kicking someone when they'e down...

Not really sure of the point in my post to be honest and sorry for the rant...but I do feel better just getting it off my chest! xx

16 Replies
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I’m so sorry to read this, your right unfortunately people really don’t understand and come out with the most hurtful comments.

I hope you take some time to re build your strength xx

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Thank you xx

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So sorry to hear this, nope people just don't get it at all unless you have been through it.

Sending huge hugs, take time to yourselfs xx

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Thank you! xx

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Lili I completely understand. We’ve had a BFN on Wednesday with FET. It’s heartbreaking and people really don’t know what to say. What I’ve been doing is leaning really hard on my husband as he feels the disappointment as well. Lean on your Husband and get through it together.

We are now having to do a fresh cycle again and to be honest not sure if I can do it again. It’s soul destroying when you get a negative. I’ve seen a negative for 11yrs. It’s hard to pick yourself up but we must grieve and know that if it’s something we really want we can pick ourselves up again - gradually!!

Big hugs to you!!

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Big hugs back to you too!!

You're very strong and that's amazing...we'll get there!

Thank goodness for the good other halves too ☺ xx

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Wow! That’s just cruel! What happened to if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all? I’m so sorry for your bfn and for the lack of compassion from your mil. xxx

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Thank you...must be acceptable in that generation 😕😂 xx

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I'm so sorry lili19 I just got my bfn last week as well and it's just deverstaing. I just think people don't know what to say and they feel that they must try and be positive by saying try again and stay positive which is just infuriating. As for your mil I'm pretty speechless at her insensitivity I just hope you can put that comment to one side and focus on yourself. it's a totally crap situation and we are allowed to be upset and angry it will take some time to process before you decide what to do next and that's okay. Sending you a big hug and here hoping to better 2018 for us all xxx

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Thank you 😘

Im.so sorry for your BFN as well 😔 it's really quite difficult to understand unless you'e doing it isn't it?

I plan on having a lovely (snowy) day with my lovely other half and trying to stay focussed on the next cycle!

Thank goodness for you ladies (and gents) for some support ☺ xx

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I know i don't even know how to explain to someone who hasn't been through it I guess it's just hard to wrap your head around.

Sounds like you have a nice day planned so I hope you can switch off for a bit.

This forum is a life saver knowing that there are others who understand how hard all of this is xxx

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Oh me either, it's so hard 😭

It absolutely is...im very grateful! Xx

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I am so sorry. It's not fair. And yeah, people some times is just **** (add any adjective you feel like). I am also so sick of the "be positive" "it will happen" "you only have to relax". R E A L L Y? How much do they know about this? They think that because they conceived easily they know far more than we do but... no! wrong! we are the experts, aren't we?

You have all the right to rant, do it! Cry and yell and laugh at our luck. Whatever happens, here we are. That's the thing we can be sure about.

lots of love xxx

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Thank you, I couldn't agree more and your post made me chuckle which I needed 😘😂

Relaxing and being positive will definitely make my tubes grow back 😉

Good luck to you! xx

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I’m so sorry to hear this xxx

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Thank you xx

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