How long after a failed cycle did you have a follow up appointment?

[Bluedestiny]

Just wanted to know how long after a failed cycle (low egg numbers and zero fertilisation) how long after was your follow up. Although we only got the news yesterday I feel really alone like I’ve just been left to deal with it. The clinic did call me yesterday afternoon to see how I was but I missed it and called them back and they didn’t know why I was calling. But the nurse was lovely however I thought it was odd that they were asking me would I like a follow up? Well of course otherwise what else am I going to do just say ‘oh well’ then my consultant isn’t available until 13th July which just seems insane to me but maybe my expectations are wrong. We have a follow up but with a different consultant next week and I just feel about unsure about the whole thing really xx

[Llizzie]

Has the clinic at least got a counselling service you can use? I wonder if talking out some of your frustrations might help in the meantime and also mean you’re go into that consultant with some thoughts about what you want. I know it will depend of course on the doctors advice but wondered if it might help in the meantime. I’m sorry your transfer didn’t work xx

[Bluedestiny in reply to Llizzie]

Thanks llizzie I think I am going to go for the counselling I didn’t think I would but I’m worried I will drive myself crazy x

[JoyfulStar]

Hello there, really sorry to hear about your failed IVF cycle. I totally get your frustration. I had a failed round and when I was told the consultant could not see me for at least 6 weeks, I insisted on a sooner date pointing out that I was due to carry out another cycle and a review of what went wrong was needed sooner. Luckily for me, they fit me in 2 weeks later.

Perhaps you should ask them to put a note on your file that you want to be seen sooner eg if there are cancellations. From experience as well, consultants can put you in sooner themselves as they have protected time. I think this may be how I got seen sooner.

All the best 🙏🏾

[Bluedestiny in reply to JoyfulStar]

6 weeks really is ridiculous isn’t it. I totally understand they are busy but the turmoil of infertility is bad enough as it is never mind having to wait that long to discuss a failed cycle, I just find it really poor. Thanks for your advice xx

[Running79]

That’s not right!!! You should not be having a different consultant unless you ask for one! For starters they won’t really know your case at all and you’ll probably have to be telling them what’s happened so far!

We had a follow up with our consultant within 2 weeks of a failed cycle. Our clinic provides a free follow up with your consultant within 6 weeks of a failed cycle - anything outside that you have to pay

[Nic_o_la_la]

Hey. My follow up wasn’t for about 5 weeks. I was so mad when I found out that’s how long because I felt totally left in limbo. I kinda wanted the feedback and next steps so we at least had something to focus on. Mine was also with another consultant but our original one only does NHS (it was out first round) so this one will oversee our private round next so I guess that’s why it was different. It’s a never ending tough journey this one! The waiting at every stage is a killer. I hope you get some helpful feedback at your appointment next week x

[Bluedestiny in reply to Nic_o_la_la]

Thank you Nic that’s exactly how I feel. It’s like this huge thing happens and oh they’re busy for 6 weeks, whilst we just sit here in limbo not knowing how to feel. I’m just trying to get my head together and try and plan our next steps. I was the same this was our nhs round which quite frankly was utterly shit. I just don’t feel like we’ve made any progress at all, but I know what happened will give the consultant more info about us and change protocol and things it just leaves things so up in the air in the meantime xx

[Nic_o_la_la in reply to Bluedestiny]

It is so hard but as others have said, it does give you time to think about questions you’d like to ask and make the most of the appt. Not gonna lie, it was still tough waiting but I think actually it was helpful for me to really grieve for the loss/failed round. I got focussed on me too steps pretty quick as think that was how my mind wanted to cope but actually found work and life for that next week or two really hard and struggling to focus on anything because I don’t think I was really letting myself get over what had happened. Sat with it for a bit instead and waited for the appt to start thinking next steps and do think I’m feeling better now overall. Sorry that’s a bit waffle-y but I suppose what I’m trying to say is, with hindsight, it has perhaps worked out for me that the follow up was a bit longer away than I would have wanted so my mind is clearer and better for the next cycle now than I’d considered it was initially. Will keep everything crossed for you. I was quite disappointed at most points through my cycle too about how rubbish it was going. It’s helped manage my expectations for next time and they’ve adjusted my meds for the next one. They’ll definitely be helpful things come from the follow up when you have it 💜 xx

[RecipIVF]

Sorry to hear your failed cycle. I had to wait 6 weeks for my follow up (not sure if this was because they were busy or wanted the air to settle) because I really wanted to try immediately after. Silver lining is that it gives you time to prepare and bombard them with all the right questions. Treat yourself during this wait. Good luck 💪🏻 x

[Bluedestiny in reply to RecipIVF]

Thank you I have settled slightly and this is exactly what I am going to do. I’m going to write down everything I can think of cos I feel sooo many things went wrong then at least I am armed with everything I want to know. You are probably right about them wanting to let the dust settle as I am just trying to get myself together now. I’m obviously not blaming the clinic or the consultant or anything I just have so many whys? Xx

[RecipIVF in reply to Bluedestiny]

It’s so hard not to be frantic after everything a cycle entails physically and emotionally. I’m still reading journals and torturing the clinic with questions I wish had of asked at the review apt (I’m sure they love me 🤦🏻‍♀️) stay strong 💪🏻Xx

[Samxoxo]

Hey Bluedestiny,

I’m in a really similar situation, 10 eggs, 8 empty shells and then only 1 day 3 to transfer and the after all that got a BFN on Monday! Supposed to have my follow up on Tuesday and got a call this evening asking my to change consultant or to wait for another appointment- it’s like suddenly it’s not important and all we can think about is what went wrong! It seems to wrong they want to pass me off to another consultant. Hopefully next time you have some more success and push for that follow up!! Sending positive vibes xx

[DJ202]

I'm so sorry to hear about your ivf journey, Bluedestiny! This is so hard and unfair!! I agree with the others, try and push for a follow-up appointment. A counselor may be really helpful too- fertility network offers the possibility to talk to one and I'd definitely go for it! I'm regularly talking to my acupuncturist and herbalist about my fertility journey and it's really helpful as I can get things off my chest with people outside of my family and friends who don't really understand the situation. Stay strong and push for answers! Do let me know how you're getting on - sending lots of positive vibes x