Rubbish follicle scan :-(

[AuroraXen]

Well, heading sums it up 😂 This is my 3rd ivf cycle (first with my partner- my backstory is soap-opera-territory 🤦‍♀️😂) and its been 18 months since my last cycle. I had a pretty good response then, 14 follicles (most good size) and 7 eggs resulting in 2 blasts which didn't implant. My AMH then was around 5. Had it tested again November and had plummeted to 2.9 ☹. So I knew this cycle wouldn't be as good as last time but learned today I have literally 2 follicles, one on each ovary 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ And there I was on the drive down, doing my positive visualisation of '4 on one ovary, 8 on the other ' Er, just a bit out there 😳 Feeling pretty down and just, basically, a massive failure.... Consultant persuaded me not to cancel the cycle, or at least to wait for Friday's scan and see how they're looking (they're the perfect size, at least). Think a nice glass of wine would be ... oh wait, can't do that 🙄😂 ! Lots of love to all of you facing similar disappointments and much worse 💔 xx

[Millbanks]

Hi lovely, glad to hear you're back on the horse! I know how frustrating it can be - I've had cycles when they've not gone as expected for no apparent reason. My last cycle I had 3 follicles on each side (previous cycle had been 10 on each) so I was pretty shocked - only a slight decline in AMH.... but when I went back for a 2nd scan a few more had popped up from nowhere - they couldn't see any more on the first scan at all. So you never know what will happen. I know it feels like more is better so you have a bit of wriggle room, but actually I do think that sometimes less eggs means better quality. Anyway I've got my fingers crossed for you! xxx

[AuroraXen in reply to Millbanks]

Thanks so much Millbanks. I wish I knew if this was 'it' for me, that I just won't get decent numbers anymore and I could then try to be happy with the 2 follicles I have... which I guess I should be thankful for, I know. I suspect I might be in denial a bit, trying to convince myself that my eggs are better than they actually are! If I had a crystal ball and knew that next cycle (we paid for a 2 cycle package) we'd have significantly more, I might actually cancel this one. But it may then be that all future cycles will actually be worse! Not sure if people ever get a super cr&p cycle and then better ones subsequently 🤷 I'm just going to have to join the club of 'quality over quantity' and cling to that! xx

[Millbanks in reply to AuroraXen]

Annoyingly I have had very varied cycles throughout all my IVF - in terms of egg numbers / embryo numbers / endo thickness etc.... it's never just the same or steadily worse... it fluctuates every time. Not what you need to hear really!I thought the same for my last cycle - on the first scan I knew that I usually had way more and was really surprised - so I was tempted to cancel too - I decided I'd wait until scan 2 to see what was going on. As a few more had popped I carried on. It's a hard decision to make, it feels like such a gamble and those thoughts were going through my head (what if this is now my standard). I say, don't make any decisions yet - just go with the flow and see what next week holds xx

[NemoFish]

I’m on my first cycle and had my first follicle scan yesterday. I only had three in total, I’m so upset. My AMH is 11.2 so I think even the clinic were surprised. I came home to a post on Facebook by someone asking if seeing 24 follicles on a scan was a good number 🤦🏻‍♀️ . They’ve upped my ovaleap dose and now I’m trying to tell myself it only takes one, but it’s so so hard x

[AuroraXen in reply to NemoFish]

Ahh NemoFish I'm sorry to hear this. It's so hard isn't it? My first cycle I honestly thought I'd be getting like 18 eggs 😆 Was horrified when I ended up with 5, but honestly, right now I'd be SO happy with 5. It's really difficult not to compare ourselves to others, isn't it. Your AMH is definitely way better than mine, so I can imagine that was really disappointing. I really do get the emphasis on quality over quantity, and am trying to focus on that, but I also know that based on my past 2 cycles, roughly half my follicles had eggs, and then just over half of those eggs actually fertilised properly. Then half again made it to a day 5 embryo. So I just can't stop thinking about the maths and the drop-off 😭My fear is, IF we even get to EC, I'll have to listen to the doctor coming in when I'm eating my sad biscuits and recovering, and he'll say 'unfortunately, we didn't get anything'. And that must just be such a kick in the guts... BUT I haven't given up hope yet 🤞 And am hoping things get better for you. Did they say if there were any smaller ones coming up? xx

[NemoFish in reply to AuroraXen]

I had two or three small ones, which they weren’t hopeful for after still being small with 7 days worth of stims in my system. I don’t want to get my hopes up. I’m thinking about the number drop off exactly like you just put it, and there’s not much drop off when you only start with three. I wish this wasn’t such a lottery. I’m already planning how to pay for my next cycle, that’s how much faith I have in this one x