I was just wondering if there is anyone else out there who struggles with juggling work and IVF. I'm a veterinary nurse and a line manager for my team. My job involves alot of heavy lifting of large animals and being around anaesthetic agents, and honestly just an awful lot of stress most days. The first cycle I went through I was lucky enough that I got a few weeks off to go through it and had no stress at all, I was able to focus solely on my IVF journey. Unfortunately that resulted in a negative pregnancy test, but we're due to start again next month. This time my work seems much more difficult about it, it feels as if I've had my one shot and they just need me to get on with my job now. But IVF is an all consuming process when you're going through a cycle and its causing me alot of anxiety trying to plan with work, to make a safe way for me to continue doing my job, support my team, avoid dangerous activities and avoid stress. It seems quite impossible! Any advice?
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Acoulson91
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With my previous two (unsuccessful) transfers, I took some annual leave around transfer and for a few days afterwards. I then always got a little poorly after I came off the medicines so I ended up taking sick leave for a further few days. The second time I spoke to my doctor and she suggested I take time off for my next transfer, before and after to allow myself to relax as much as possible as she thought my symptoms were a sign off my body reacting to stress (I had swollen glands both times).
Going into my third transfer, I was feeling way more anxious as well so I spoke to my HR department, told them my doctor suggested time off and work then agreed to me having four weeks unpaid leave off. I could have just gone with sick and gotten full pay, but it would have meant going off the same day and leaving work without anyone to cover my workload which didn’t sit well with me!
Anyway, I’m so glad I’ve taken four weeks off. One week prior to transfer, and three weeks following. It means I have two weeks to let the news settle in if it isn’t successful and to make a plan for the next one. I feel more mentally stable not working and it allows me to focus just on my IVF journey and myself.
I can’t imagine my work would be understanding if I needed more time off for another transfer, but I’ll cross that bridge when it comes to it. My boss said to me though - don’t ever feel anxious about needing time off because in ten years time, I won’t be thinking about this job. I’ll be thinking about my baby and my journey to baby and that’s what’s most important. And that for me kind of took some pressure off.
If you’re able to, maybe talk to your doctor to get their support. Could you reduce your hours if you can’t take full leave? Could you take unpaid leave?
Thank you for your reply! I hadn't thought about speaking to a doctor, I may seek advice on that one.
I don't want to leave my practice short staffed but at the same time it's so much to juggle, and my clinic want to add in luveris injections and increase my bemfola injections for my next round of IVF, which is great if it increases our chances but i generally felt quite head achey and sick the first time, so I'm a also anxious about feeling quite yucky and trying to continue working as usual too. Which my boss doesn't seem to be able to take into account when scheduling me in for busy consult days at work. And stress also plays a massive part.
Your bosses comment is completely true! Thank you!
Until someone goes through this journey themselves, they’ll never truly understand the physical and mental toll it can have on a person. And even then, each persons journey is unique to them - some people find it helpful to work, others don’t.
Trust your own instinct, if you think you need the time off then take it. Your doctor should be able to provide a sickness note for the time that you need.
Fertility Network UK did a webinar on juggling work and treatment which may be helpful. You can find it on the webinar page here - fertilitynetworkuk.org/how-...
I am also a veterinary nurse and have to admit that I have really put my work on the back burner. I am lucky that I have been with my practice for a long time so they have seen my struggles so they have been as supportive as possible. During my two cycles they have let me work from home doing admin (ringing for POC, flea and wormer reminders and doing debt collecting). I have been on the sick since my miscarriage 4 weeks ago and I am dreading going back as I feel like how much more support can I ask them for. It’s so hard because it’s such a demanding and draining job! I am as honest with my work as I can be and if I’m not having a good day I put myself first xx
Thank you for your reply! Its good to hear from another vet nurse! I've felt so alone with this as work can't fully understand what I'm going through and people I talk to about it can't fully understand trying to do this around nursing. Its not an easy job to do when your consultant tells you to stay away from anaesthesia, to avoid stress and avoid heavy lifting. Thats a lot of our job! I'm so sorry to hear of your miscarriage, I can't imagine the pain you must feel and I can understand dreading going back.
I agree I find it hard to continue to ask for support, they were able to give me time off the first time but not this time and I just feel like the broken record that they're getting fed up of hearing. I know I need to put myself first to give myself the best chance, its just very difficult to do in this career.
Thank you so much for sharing your story, you're the first vet nurse I've come across going through this ❤
Hi Acoulson, I'm sorry to see this cycle didn't work out for you, I hope you don't mind me asking a question now. I've been trying to get info on heavy lifting and I also work with anaesthetics. You mention the consultant told you to avoid heavy lifting and anesthetics, did they say for how long to avoid during 2ww and did they say what counts as heavy? hope you are going well x
I was told to avoid anaesthesia until I took the pregnancy test and the same with heavy lifting, especially throughout the 2 week wait. They didn't specify what counts as heavy sorry, but I would think if you find it heavy yourself, avoid it! It's just not worth the risk
Hi Acoulson91, I find it difficult to work daily when going through it too. I managed to get my doctor to write an official letter asking for a long period of Unpaid leave based on "medical conditions". Then I took unpaid leave and am still on it. But I am fortunate that mine is a job that allowed me to take unpaid leave... See if you can try it or else, get all the medical or hospitalisation leave you can get... Our fertility journey is important and it can mean the difference between whether we have (kids) or do not have, and while we do our jobs, take leave when necessary.
I completely agree! We're about to start cycle 3. It's our last shot we can't afford anymore at the moment, so I am taking the entire cycle off work this time. Definitely feel I have made the right decision
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Then I took unpaid leave and am still on it. But I am fortunate that mine is a job that allowed me to take unpaid leave... See if you can try it or else, get all the medical or hospitalisation leave you can get... Our fertility journey is important and it can mean the difference between whether we have (kids) or do not have, and while we do our jobs, take leave when necessary. 
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