Am i being sensitive?: I just told my... - Fertility Network UK

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Am i being sensitive?

SUMMERTIME02 profile image
9 Replies

I just told my good friend I'm glad the injection stage of ivf is over, its been a long process and she laughed it off saying "Lool you hardly had to inject yourself for a week"

Im offended! Its not a joke. Each day has felt super long for me. These 11 days of stims started off easy and by day 6 i had pain which got worse. How insensitive. I had to tell her its a stage of a long wait which isnt easy and not easily understood until you yourself go through it.

Im just disappointed that someone can be so insensitive. I've shared my journey with her openly so i was not expecting this comment from her.

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SUMMERTIME02
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9 Replies
Simz143 profile image
Simz143

Hey I think people don’t really understand your journey unless they have been through it themselves , so they can come across as insensitive due to ignorance. I decided not to tell any of my friends or family and just told one close family member only as they have been through my journey themselves. Hope it goes all well for you x

ashbb profile image
ashbb

Wow, sorry to hear she reacted this way. It's not "just a week of stims". It's putting hormones into your body which can impact physically and psychologically for weeks and weeks after you stop.

You're amongst understanding people on here. I limited what I shared with friends unless they knew what it involved.

X

ZessB profile image
ZessB

I would stop sharing anything else with her as it could ruin your friendship. If she asks anything, just brush her off and explain to her you would rather not talk about it anymore. By her reaction, I would worry she would not be compassionate if you become unsuccessful along the way. Good luck!

XOXO13 profile image
XOXO13

Wow, I think that’s really insensitive of your friend to say. It’s way more than just a week of injections and it isn’t pleasant either. It’s good you told her it’s not as easy as that. Sadly, no one really understands what it’s like until they go through this themselves but that aside, a good friend should know that those types of comments are hurtful and not helpful. I would let her know that those comments aren’t supportive.

Good luck to you xx

kiwibaby profile image
kiwibaby

So insensitive but I’ve found that close friends just don’t understand unless they’ve been through it themselves. Online communities are far more supportive!

L400ynd profile image
L400ynd

No you are not being sensitive. That’s just awful for her to say that!!!! My sister went thru ivf before us. It was the first time I’ve even really known what ivf involves. It sounded and looked brutal. I would never have dismissed her like that. I went round a few nights to sit with her while she done her injections if her husband wasn’t there so she wasn’t alone.

When I then had to go thru it 3 times myself I realised that as brutal as it sounded it was worse!!! I just can’t believe folk wouldn’t be supportive. My best friend doesn’t know what to say so just kinda let’s me talk and she listens but she’s never once made any comments like that.

Depending on how you feel I would maybe let her know that her comments were hurtful and why you felt that. She clearly hasn’t a clue what’s involved with these injections.

Good luck sweetie. We are here if you would prefer to chat with girls who know what you are going through. Xxx

I hate needles so 11 days would be awful 🙁

SUMMERTIME02 profile image
SUMMERTIME02

Thank you all so much for your comments. I was quite upset and annoyed with her yesterday so immediately did respond and say im offended that she thinks its so easy of a process and she acknowledged that she should just let me talk and she would listen as she has no idea. So i do feel better talking to her about it. However, going forward it has made me super careful to not want to share everything with her as i did before. I have learnt a lesson. Honestly during ivf isnt the time for me to educate friends about the process. I as a friend would never judge or dismiss someone's feelings, it's just a shame not everyone is the same.

She's being insensitive and there is no excuse for her comment. Even if you haven't gone through the JoUrNeY of infertility and IVF, you should still have enough common sense and knowledge to know it's an emotionally and physically demanding process. Personally, I don't think ignorance is an excuse and you have the right to call her out on her insensitivity. If I was you, I'd make it clear to her you won't be sharing any further details with her because her response was rude, hurtful and borders on gaslighting.

Best of luck with your IVF.

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