Terrified of the speculum

I don’t post or comment much here but reading your posts really helps me so hoping for encouragement! ❤️

I have my first FET tomorrow! But the problem is I have vaginismus and endo and I find speculum exams agony. My clinic knows this but their advice is normally along the lines of: just relax! Which, of course! I am trying to!

I did have IUI before so I know deep down I can tolerate it but I spent the whole procedure crying and holding the nurses hand. I’m terrified I won’t be able to cope with the pain and will make it go wrong by being such a wimp...

[Fizz37]

Bless you - I hate transfer day and all of the scans too actually, especially when they are digging their wands or whatever around inside me! My husband doesn't make it to most of the appointments due to work and he thought it was all ultrasound - numpty 🤪

You already know you have to relax as much as you can, maybe focus on not peeing yourself lol that's the worst for me about transfer day so I concentrate on the 'tv' and watching where all my bits are and asking the nurses what's what even though I know.

Anyway...What I really wanted to say is that you won't make it go wrong, you're good there and in safe hands - everyone is rooting for you - and once its done, you'll be one step closer to that BFP!!! 🥳

[stephkp]

Ask them for gas and air. I have stage 4 endo and there was no way they were getting near me without something. The second transfer I had, the consultant sent the nurse with the gas away and I refused to let her touch me until she let the gas nurse come back 😂 after my procedure she said “oh, you do find it painful don’t you”. The third attempt I was fully sedated as it was decided it was best and quicker for me. Mention it when you go in and they can prepare for you. If it’s possible ring and speak to someone before you go. You won’t make anything go wrong if you find it painful and you are not a wimp. I hope you don’t find it too painful and that you get your BFP xx

[Kookypie]

I find it really painful as well. But I asked my GP for some diazepam which is something you could consider if you have to do it again, it's a breeze after you take that.

Good luck for tomorrow x

[Hidden in reply to Kookypie]

I have actually got some diazepam but I haven’t found it that effective... would you mind me asking what dose you take and how soon before transfer you take it?

[Kookypie in reply to Hidden]

I took 5mg about 30 mins before the transfer.

[Sparklylife]

I have no real advice I am afraid - I try to focus on letting my buttocks relax and go soft - seems to distract me. I realise I always tense my buttocks automatically, but then focus on letting them go soft and it all settles. But I do not have your medical history, so can’t even imagine!

Hopefully the nurses and doctors will be very good at keeping you at ease and make it as painless as possible for you!

Just wanted to wish you all the best for today and hope your 2ww goes well!! I hope for a fantastic outcome for you 🥰🤞

[anz07]

I have my transfers done under sedation. Could this be an option for you? As you say, you’ve done it before so know that you are fully capable. Try to focus your mind on something else - I always try to remember song lyrics 😂 Good luck! You’ve got this! xxx

[Hidden]

Just to let you know I made it! I did take diazepam and also my clinic are very understanding. I have a 3 day embryo on board so everything crossed! 🤞

[Kookypie in reply to Hidden]

Aww well done!

[Daffodils140]

Well done and best wishes for the 2ww! X