Donor Eggs Doubts

[AnyaH]

I am switching to donor eggs and I know lots of people say the baby looks like them or their partner, or that once you're pregnant/give birth you love the baby the same but... what if you don't? What if the baby doesn't look like either of you or your family? Or is a constant reminder of how your body failed you? (How/) Do people get past these doubts?

[Hidden]

It’s a funny one my kids look nothing like me I’m dark hair & eyes 1/2 Chinese my ex husband has ginger roots but not really ginger hair but complexion freckles brown eyes. My eldest had blue eye blonde hair when younger now she’s a dirty blonde with green eyes & my youngest has chestnut hair brown eye s & freckles. They look nothing alike really but resembles their dad in a way but differently. I’m having a boy with my fiancé who’s blonde with blue eyes god knows what this one will look like could be dark like me. Personally put 2 similar eggs in a dish mix them up would u know the difference you’ve grown baby in your belly I’d love whatever.

[McrLass]

I know that feeling, I know those doubts. My heart sometimes tells me it’s a failure, but then my head reminds me that I’ve chosen this route because it gives me the best possible chance of having a healthy, successful pregnancy and a child for me and my boyfriend, after 5 cycles and at an advanced age, it’s not like i didn’t give other routes a try. I’m sure you’re the same, no one jumps to doner eggs just because they fancy it.

It also really helped me to hear that my boyfriend has no such concerns, and maybe your partner feels the same? A friend of his used doner eggs abroad and had twins from a local doner, clearly looking a very different nationality to their parents, and no one in his friends group batted an eyelid. These thoughts and doubts are so much magnified for us, everyone else will just see a mum and their baby I’m sure.

It’s too late for me to let those doubts have much headspace, I’m 8 weeks pregnant tomorrow, so it isn’t about me anymore!

Wishing you the confidence to accept your decision and focus on a freshly positive perspective with much higher success rates. Sending you so much baby dust 🥰

[ToughCOOKIE78]

Ah Anya, I had the same doubts before embarking on the donor egg route. I shared them with my mum who simply said: why, do you look like me? 🙄Yep. Something I didn’t think about. My mum is darker skin, freckles, dark hair and brown eyes...my dad brown hair and brown eyes. I’m light skin (more like a vampire lol), blonde hair and blue eyes. But they are my genetic and biological parents. I got my hair from my grandpa on mums side and my eyes from grandma on dads side. Weird isn’t it?

Sometimes we get hung up on things that scare us, just because it’s unknown territory and new.

But the baby will be yours, you’ll be growing her/him and most importantly you’ll love him/her from the first time you’ll hear their heartbeat ❤️

Everything else doesn’t really matter.

Good luck hun 🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀

[SillyCluck]

I can tell you from experience that these doubts are natural ( I had them!)

I turned to donor eggs once I turned 40 after some terrible experiences with my own eggs( and eventually lack of them!) I have a biological daughter who I had when I was 21 so I have a true comparison I guess!

My ( donor egg) daughter has filled my heart since she arrived in our lives.. she resembles my husband and we giggle about it but she also has my hair colour. I love her exactly the same as my older daughter. I carried her. Gave birth to her and breastfed her for 16 months.

The fact that a “donor” was involved makes her all the more special she is truly a gift. I will tell her that another person was involved in making her ( like a fairy godmother!) and then hopefully one day she can meet her and I can also thank her from the bottom of my heart!

As far as anyone else thinking that you are not their biological parent I can assure you it never happens.. I told some of my close friends and family but that is just me! It rarely crosses my mind now that she had such a special journey to us she is just our crazy, lovely, funny three year old and completely ‘my’ little girl...

xxx

[treezuk]

Its so hard to get that feeling out your head but i can honestly say once their born it really doesnt matter just try to remember there is many familes out there whose kids look nothing like them and their bioligcal kids

I have a son with my eggs then donor egg twins im happy to send you a pic via PM if that would help you to see.

One looks like me/big brother one like dad our clinic (greece) had wonderful matching skills in my opinion.

Always happy to chat if you wanna talk through it at any time.

[Kyell2]

We didn’t use donor eggs but we did use donor sperm. Not many people know that we used a donor but everyone is convinced that our baby boy looks like my partner. I constantly get told he looks like his dad when there is no chance of that, people see what they want to see and they both have dark hair and pale skin (but so do I).

It was a real fear for my partner before we chose a donor that people would guess he wasn’t the biological father...but those fears just disappear when you have your own gorgeous baby so try not to worry too much xx

[Reuponjoy]

I had my son from a donor egg. He looks nothing like me. He's actually a lot prettier than me. So I'm good with that lol. He has beautiful blue eyes and big chubby cheeks. I'm sure people have thoughts but no one has said anything about it. I too will one day tell him how he came to be in this world. I am going read him books about it.