Counselling- feeling lost

[Nane22]

Hi everyone, So since being told the clinic haven’t got any further options for more cycles after 2 failed rounds and so many question marks, I’ve been going through a rollercoaster of emotions. I’m still quite sore,nauseous and no appetite after egg collection on Wednesday. I’m on antibiotics also. I’m feeling quite lonely and down, so I thought I would ask if anyone has had counselling and if it helps.

[CharlieW1985]

Hiya,The clinic usually offers counsellors for this purpose during cycles. They usually give so many free sessions. We have had 3 sessions during our ivf journey. Our last one is on Wednesday. Definitely ask the clinic xx

[Nane22 in reply to CharlieW1985]

Thank you x

[Lovemylion]

Hey hunny. Sorry your feeling so down. Totally understandable with what you've been through. Just take care of yourself and if your still feeling rough it might be worth checking you haven't got symptoms of ohss if you had a lot off eggs collected. What do u mean the clinic haven't got any more options for u?

I have had counselling but tbh it didn't really work for me but i think thats because the clinics counsellor isn't particularly good. She forgot that we'd already spoken a couple of times, so I didn't feel like I had any rapport. However, I know lots of people benefit from this. What helped me was acupuncture, talking about how I was feeling to fam and friends and mindfulness apps. I have bought an IVF journal (it's pink with a pineapple on it) it's quite expensive but it's got an extensive layout with lots of help and quotes to make you feel calmer and thankful.

Xxx

[Nane22 in reply to Lovemylion]

Thank you hun.. the clinic feel they have done as much as they can with cycles and said I could consider an egg donor or another clinic. If l’m honest I feel a bit abandoned.. I’ve read many women have successful outcomes even after 3-4 cycles.

So I’m now researching different clinics/consultants to get another opinion. But it’s the strength to start all over again somewhere new and trying to get the motivation back ☹️

I did have a few rounds of acupuncture but the clinic shut due to lockdown so I’m waiting to hear when she opens again.

I love the idea of a ivf journal! Thank you x 😊

[Lovemylion in reply to Nane22]

I would definitely change clinics. 2 rounds is not enough for them to just give up on u. Did they change the protocol/ meds at all? I don't know your age or amh but I've heard good things about mild/moderate IVF for poor responders. Technically it takes on av 6 cycles to achieve a high chance of pregnancy.....its common for it to take roughly 3 cycles which is why the HFEA recommend all counties offer three cycles on the NHS but unfortunately this isn't the case.

I would have a consultation with a clinic that specialises in you or your partners fertility issues and get a second opinion.

Yes I miss acupuncture...my clinic is also closed sadly. I may see if there are any reflexologists open.

I hope u get some answers XXX

[Nane22 in reply to Lovemylion]

Thank you hun.. I’m 38 my Amh is 37.5 I’ve had 2 ovarian cysts (endometriomas removed)

my first round was short protocol and I got 3 follicles from which 3 eggs retrieved and one fertilised to be a top grade embryo which was put back on day 3 but didn’t take.

Then second round was intense long protocol with buserelin and high dose menopur at 350/450 iu and there were 7 follicles but during egg collection they found only 2 had eggs and the rest were empty and so the consultant drained them hence why I’m on antibiotics.

They feel I may have poor egg quality. My lining however is apparently textbook as it should be. So I don’t know if I’m a poor responder or if the eggs are poor or if it’s both 🤷🏻‍♀️

There is no sign of PCOS. So hopefully another specialist will be able to help.

I think It was just a big surprise that it ended up a worse outcome compared to the first one and it feels like we gone backwards.

Aww I hope your acupuncture clinics opens soon too hun. I’m really glad I took the step to speak on here. Thank you.. You’ve all been wonderful xx 😘 wishing you all the best

[Lovemylion in reply to Nane22]

I really hope you get some answers hun. Your amh is very high for your age which can sometimes indicate pcos. Apparently it can be tricky to diagnose. So might be worth querying this with a new consultant/clinic but I'm no medic...I think it may be worth investigating a clinic that does low dose/mild IVF as I think they concentrate on the quality of those one or two eggs. Might be food for thought. I've thought about going with them but I've been advised against it by two different consultants due to male factor issues.

I'll be looking out for your journey! Hope you get the outcome u want! Xxx

[Nane22 in reply to Lovemylion]

Thanks hun xx hopefully will get there

[Lovemylion in reply to Nane22]

You will! Xxx

[Blondyboo]

Definitely worth having another go with your eggs. I went to DE but they could only get one egg on full whack meds. It didn’t even fertilise. So was an easy decision for us. We went abroad and got my son 😍 took 3 goes with top quality Embryos though even with everything right it’s still pot luck😞 my advice is just keep going and eventually it should work 😘

[Nane22 in reply to Blondyboo]

Aww glad it worked out 🥰 xx thank you

[Babytocome]

My friend got pregnant using “natural or modified Ivf” it is also cheaper and they are more focus on the quality rather quantity.Research on that, don’t loose hope!

[Nane22 in reply to Babytocome]

Aww Thank you I’ll definitely have a look at that x

[ashbb]

It's been a life saver for me. I meet weekly with someone on zoom and have done for months. For me, my mental health is worth spending money on.

Sorry about your experiences thus far. ❤️

[Nane22 in reply to ashbb]

Aw that’s great to hear.. I’ve taken the step today to reach out to a counsellor to make an appointment .. so will see how that goes.

Thank you x

[ashbb in reply to ashbb]

Ps. It's a psychodynamic therapist/ex NHS psychiatrist I see. Be very careful about someones qualifications and make sure they're accredited. A lot of rogue people out there who claim to be experienced. You have the right to interview them. I saw a fertility counsellor once and she was hopeless.

[Nane22 in reply to ashbb]

Oh gosh.. thanks for letting me know x

[ashbb in reply to Nane22]

Sorry. Didn't mean to put the fear in you. I work in the field so get a bee in my bonnet sometimes.The most important thing is in striking a good rapport. Our clinic provides a HCPC registered psychologist who specialisedls in fertility. I would see her if i hadn't found someone already.

Good luck xx

[Nane22 in reply to ashbb]

They are registered with the BACP? Is that a reputable accreditation? It says they do psychodynamic therapy also. Hopefully that should be ok.

Thank you Xx

[ashbb in reply to Nane22]

Hello. Yes, ask or check if "accredited" by them. Means they've done enough hours and been assessed to be fully qualified.