After initially being told we couldn't do reciprocal IVF mid-treatment, our clinic have now said that we can. I've got through 3 embryos so far which have all resulted in early miscarriages/chemical pregnancies (two at 4 weeks and one at 5 weeks). I've just turned 33 with no diagnosed fertility problems. Responded well to treatment and the three losses have been unexpected and deeply upsetting.
I have two C grade embryos left which are meant to be a final and double transfer for me. I was put on blood thinners and high doses of progesterone last time but, alas, I lost the pregnancy again (very faint positive on OTD so another chemical).
This really is a throw of the dice. Yes, the embryos could have all been chromosomally abnormal and maybe one of these final two could be the one, but I really am losing hope and am terrified that there is something wrong with me.
My partner is a year older than me but our initial tests two years ago revealed she had a higher AMH level. I would be happy for her to be the recipient of our final two embryos but I guess, if it worked, I would always wonder whether I could have been the one pregnant. That said, the last thing I want is yet another chemical pregnancy - if these embryos stand a better chance with my partner, then she should most definitely take them!
It's a really unusual situation and I am doubting anyone else has been in this position? Any thoughts are most welcome. My partner is amazing and has been so incredibly supportive of me throughout the IVF journey. Although it will be strange switching places, I feel it may be worth a shot.
Written by
anz07
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Hello hun, I’m sorry you’re going through a difficult time and I understand this is not an easy decision. From my perspective though, I believe it would be better for you to do this final transfer because doctors have learnt from previous ones and adjusted medications for you (added blood thinners for example). With your partner they would move into ‘unknown territory’ and there may be unknown issues with her that could potentially affect implantation, whereas they know yours so they are covered.Hope it makes sense, wishing you both a ton of luck 🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻Xxx
Have you been offered any tests to help understand if you have any factors which increase your risk of miscarriages? I have had two early losses and was referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic before I was allowed to proceed with fertility treatment. The test results might help inform your choice.
We started out doing reciprocal IVF. Mainly because I'm a couple of years older than my OH. So her eggs, me carrying. We've since gone on to have 3 ETs, 3 pregnancies and 3 MCs (6 weeks, Chemical, 6 weeks). I've had pretty much every test you can think of (ERA, Emma and Alice are about the only ones we haven't had.... yet) and most are normal/ close to normal. I suppose why I'm telling you this is that every specialist keeps telling us that it'll be the embryos (I'm not convinced though TBH).
Good luck with everything and I hope what ever decision you both come to it results in your healthy baby.
Hi , what is really striking me here is that you are actually getting pregnant. I've had 5 miscarriages and a FET grade AB never even attached. So they did bloods on me and it turned out I had "killer cells " that were attacking my embryos, like an immune response. It was very simply fixed with steroids and intralip infusions. Im now 11 weeks pregnant. Just a thought. Once you have a darling son/daughter, will you even care which one of you carried them, you'll be so grateful and full of love after this tough journey. I wish you the very best of luck. 🥰🥰
Hey lovely. Have you both done any further testing. Like immune testing? For example ppl with an autoimmune condition are higher risk (miscarriage etc) then the one without. Its not always abt the egg quality but also abt the carrier. Unfortunately some of us will never know because nothing is definite in this whole rollercoaster x x x
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