Upset by my scars

[Orla9298]

Every time I look in the mirror or down at my belly i cry when I see the scar from the bigger cut. I know it’s so vain but the two lower cuts are so neat and small, my belly was one of my better features and now I feel so ruined I can’t look without a total meltdown and massive sobs💔 my husband found me a howling mess on the bathroom floor today. Noone else’s lap scars are so ugly or badly sewn with big folds 😢 it’s like the nail in the coffin for making me feel even worse than I already do.

[RhinoCat]

Oh hopefully when the white ones come out or dissolve the neat scar on top will be all you have left🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💐💐💐😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘 sending hugs, time will heal it up, take it easy on yourself 😘💐💐💐💐💐

[Peanutchips]

Oh lovely I’m so so sorry you’re going through this and feeling this way. It’s so unfair. Hopefully when the white stitches come out it’ll just be the scar which will fade and be barely visible over time. I’ve had stitches a few times and you can barely see the marks now. Sending lots of 💐❤️💐 xxx

[Orla9298 in reply to Peanutchips]

I don’t mind the scar line itself... but I can’t bear that it might be healing into this puckered ridge 😢 you can see it through my clothes 😢 I know it’s so ridiculous but I can’t even look anymore

[Ivfgotadream]

They do go down hun a lot! You’d be surprised! I’ve had 2 ruptured ectopics and both tubes had to be removed and I have 8 scars across my stomach now and also had to reopen my c section scar - they have faded a lot.

Once the stitches are out you could try some bio oil lotion which is good for scarring x

[AllWeNeedIsluv]

I can completely relate to this, I've had so many ops on my abdomen. But my laparotomy coz of bowel obstruction is the biggy and its wrecked my abdomen completely i have no belly button left and my belly looks like a bum the laparotomy scar is the crack. Its hideous. So many people said it would look better and fade obviously from the initial cut its faded but its still very there. The only thing that has really got my head to accept it, is that if it wasn't for that I'd be dead, that scar is the scar that saved my life i wouldn't be here if it wasn't for that scar!! It took me so long to get to get to that stage, don't get me wrong its still hideous but my frame of mind is completely different now!! I hope yours doesn't affect you like mine did and i hope it heals and goes down but if it doesn't go the way you want try to remember that scar saved your life!!

Lots of love and hugs to you my love 😘💗

[Cmc2020]

I too have scars all over my stomach through laps and ectopics and to top it off I had a cancerous mole removed on my belly button it looks horrible makes me self conscious too I hope your ok I don’t think they have stitched it very well your right and hopefully it heals ok xx

[Rainbowbaby92]

Oh Orla i can really feel your pain! Please be kind to yourself, you will get through this one day at a time. I am sure the scar will fade in time and it’s not vain at all to feel the way you do I’m sure I would feel exactly the same! sending you all my love sweetheart xxx

[Faith103]

Scars are your story...don’t be upset by them 😃 xxx

Wounds heel. Be proud. 😃

“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars”

😘 keep on pushing. Having an ectopic is not nice but it’s shows your body can do it. Be kind to yourself xxx

[Orla9298 in reply to Faith103]

I agree to some extent, scars are something I’ve always admired and I have other scars that I don’t mind, like a cat scratch on the side of my face and teeth marks from a bad dog bite on my arm. But the folds and lumps are what’s upsetting me. And I guess the fact that it was our first ever baby heartbeat in so many years is what’s killing me, I don’t want to have to see that every single day! I hope the folds go so that it’s less of an obvious reminder 😢

[Tiddly1984]

Hi Orla, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know how things like this can send you into a depressive state of loss and mourning. It can be devastating thinking about yourself before and after and knowing what used to be. BUT let me tell you something, that scar will heal, despite the stitching and in time will be barely visible. I can also promise that despite how you feel now....devastated, violated, lonely and just like statistic in terms of being operated on, you will feel better in just a short time from now. Right now it’s like a heavy, hurtful weight and a massive blow to your soul and self esteem but those feeling will start to fade. I also know this sounds awful but some nurses and clinicians don’t perform the tidiest stitches when undergoing laps because they know the stitching will have little effect in terms of long term scarring. Try to take care of yourself and don’t feel too upset. You won’t feel half as bad as you do once you’ve processed your feelings and once the stitches come out. It won’t be bumpy, promise...x

[Orla9298 in reply to Tiddly1984]

Thank you, I think that’s just how I’m feeling. Devastated, violated, just another lap patient who should get on with it. You words really do relate. Thank you for your words xx

[Blue1986]

Hi Orla, you are still so fragile and probably in shock and disbelief. I promise you that the swelling will go down, it may take some time though, give yourself and your body some time to heal ❤️ Thinking of you

[kitscat]

I’m sorry Orla. I too have scars but they do fade in time. You are so early post-op and once the stitches come out the scar will settle. The surgeons will pucker them up like that to prevent keloid scarring.

Once the stitches are out if you are still worried by them you can try kelo-cote which is the one plastic surgeons recommend the most and you can get this on amazon. Jeunvie mama oil is a more natural one and if it really doesn’t settle you can have laser treatment to them too. Try not to worry lovely. Xxx

[Lilly12255]

I am really sorry they did this to you. Was it NHS? I also have a lap, getting worried now. I had a bike accident many years ago with scars on the face and they went away by massaging. So there is hope. 5mn lassage per day. One more tip: don’t expose your scar to sun light. Probably easy currently xx

[Orla9298 in reply to Lilly12255]

It was nhs, but it was emergency so I think that’s why it was worse. I was admitted at 3pm and not operated on until 3am ish so I think it was a long night for the surgeons who were back to back with emergencies. The embryo was big and the tube was rupturing but was also in a mess she said, coiled up like a snake and attached to the front wall of my stomach and all sorts?? so had to be sorted out before it could be removed and she also had to do repair work on the other side. So maybe that’s why my cut is quite large. Strange, since I had the hycosy dye X-ray at the start of all my fertility treatment which showed BOTH my tubes as perfect and smooth and free flowing! So not sure how that one got such a mess! Only can think that maybe it was one of my many egg collections caused an infection, or else one of my many previous early miscarriages maybe was ectopic but failed earlier so did some damage? I’ll never know. But people who have more routine laps seem to have neater, smaller wounds with less ugly stitching and scarring. X

[Picalilli99 in reply to Orla9298]

I’ve only just seen your post. It sounds like you’ve had to endure yet another ordeal. I’m so sorry. You have had such a raw deal on this shitty journey lovely. I hate to think of this being a cruel daily reminder for you. But I really hope (and I’m sure) in time it will heal & settle. It sounds like they’ve done some really important work in there. I’m sorry you had to wait so long in emergency, but very glad that you got the surgery that you needed. You are such a warrior. I know it must feel like the world is against you right now. But know we are all here supporting you. Take care 😘 xxx

[FrancyItaly]

I am so sorry for this 💕 I really feel your pain, it is so hard. I wish I could help, only time will heal. I hope and pray you’ll have some happy news soon xxx

[Mara84]

Hi, I’m so sorry that the scars are upsetting you, no one wants scars for sure...I also had a Laparoscopic last month and before I go to surgery I was so upset and the thought of having scar was making me emotional... a month after I’m healing nicely, yes you can see two of my scars visibly but Im not as upset about it now... all I’m saying is that it will get better. 😘😘

[Bluelady-sing]

When did you have the surgery

[Orla9298 in reply to Bluelady-sing]

Like 3am Tuesday early hours (admitted Monday afternoon and was meant to be 8pm but I was kept waiting).

[Babyhope8]

So sorry. When I was told I had to undergo lap to remove dermoid, I was more worried abt the scar. I hope you wil heal well. Don’t worry. Tc

[lizzybee81]

Please don’t be upset. Normal bodies have scars & stretch marks & wobbly bits. Our bodies show our journey through life, there’s no such a thing as a perfect body. Not even the bodies you see on Insta are perfect they’re all digitally or surgically altered.

I’ve had multiple abdominal surgeries & have lost 15 stone. My body looks like a Picasso, it’s all there just things are placed a little differently to where you expect them to be! I’m proud of it, it’s carried me at nearly 27 stone & is now growing my miracle ❤️❤️

[Cinderella5]

Awww lovely, I'm so sorry you're going through this!! Your scars will settle down and not be so prominent in time. I know that probably doesnt help as you're just hurting so bad right now and this is just the straw that's broken the camels back. Lots of love and hugs, thinking of you!xxx