OTD....BFN 😭😭😭😭

[Jldurham73]

we just got the dreaded call that we were expecting. A complete negative. The worst part is not understanding why. When everything was optimal, why wouldn't he stick?!?! It is only our first round of FET. Doctor said we can try again immediately after my cycle but I am so scared of another failure. We only have enough money saved right now for one more go. Should we wait awhile or keep trying is the question. I just feel empty right now. I never thought it wouldn't work. They were so confident that it would. Jist feeling lost and low of hope.

[Lovemylion]

O no. I’m so sorry to hear you got a BFN....it’s the worst. It’s good news that you can go again though and soon if u want to. Perhaps give yourself a few days to process how your feeling and then discuss whether you feel emotionally ready to go again so soon. After all you want to go into the next round in a positive state of mind rather than feeling deflated? Xxx

[Jldurham73 in reply to Lovemylion]

Thank you for your kind words. I think we are going to take the month off to give my body and heart time to heal and then try again. It is just a kot to process. A roller coaster of emotions. They tell you all the statistics but noone tells you how hard it will be when it doesnt work.

[hoping_for_our_time]

So sorry it didn't work for you. I was the same, clinic kept say it had all gone so well then it hit me like a tonnne of bricks when it was negative. I did another FET which failed too, now gearing up for a third try. Remember that it's all a numbers game and for most people it does take a few tries unfortunately. Stay strong and all the best for next time xx

[UnicornKisses]

I’m so sorry you are going through this. I can’t speak for everyone but looking back, I think it was helpful for me to jump into another round relatively soon after my failed transfer. I was sooo upset after the failure and I think it helped my mindset to know that I was actively working to “fix” the problem. My failure was in January and that was followed by a successful round in March. IVF is exhausting. Hopefully we are able to look back on these days as a small “blip” in history. xxx

[Jldurham73 in reply to UnicornKisses]

I think we are going to try again in the next month or 2. Did you use the same batch of embryos when you got your successful round?

[UnicornKisses in reply to Jldurham73]

No, sadly I’ve never produced enough to have any to freeze. I had two day 3 embryos transferred both rounds, so both rounds were full IVF rounds. It was exhausting but looking back, it feels like such a brief time in my life.

[ArishaC]

It didn't work for me too, we have secondary infertility. Male factor, I have a daughter from a previous relationship. So I was 100% sure it will work. It was 5AA embryo. And i didn't prepare myself for it not sticking. had a complete breakdown. This was in August. I found out on my birthday. We have decided to rest for 2 cycles. Heal physically and mentally. My next one is planned for December. So I would for sure wait for couple of month. Its so hard to stay positive, but my doctor said, some embryos are just genetically faulty.. and thats why they don't stick.. Good luck to us! It will happen xxx take time to heal and relax, that would be my advise xxx

[Jldurham73 in reply to ArishaC]

I think we are going to wait until then as well. Sorry again your failed cycle and to find out on your birthday is just awful!!!! I wish you luck on your next go!!!

[Core]

So sorry to hear this sending hugs, BFNs are heartbreaking. Chocolate, wine, stay in bed, do whatever it takes to feel better xx

[Jldurham73 in reply to Core]

I definitely drank a lot of wine and stayed in bed last night.... i feel slightly better this morning and don't think I could cry anymore. I am going to try and focus on my health the next month and then go again!

[Core in reply to Jldurham73]

Great to hear you are feeling better and have your next steps in place I always find that helps me xx

[Debbieduru]

Sorry to hear. Pls give yourself time to heal. I had 2 failed cycles within 3 months, no frozen embryos, then I gave myself a 6 months healing and cleansing period. Got my positive after then. 10 weeks now with twins. Let your body speak to you. Wish you the very best.

[Jen999999]

Have a receptiva test and ERA. If your lining is not receptive then implanting won't happen and the ERA will give optimal day of transfer.

[Jldurham73 in reply to Jen999999]

I did speak to my doctors office and they said this is an option. I have never heard of this until getting on here. How exactly does an ERA work?

[Jen999999 in reply to Jldurham73]

Era is a biopsy

[LeahLoo in reply to Jen999999]

Is Receptiva test available in UK? I can’t find any clinics offering it. Thanks

[Jen999999 in reply to LeahLoo]

I'm not certain, I'm in NYC

[LeahLoo in reply to Jen999999]

Ok thanks. Don’t think we have it 😭

[Scarlett13]

Also have you had your progesterone levies checked? That was the turning point for me x

[Scarlett13]

I’m so sorry for your BFN, I know only too well how you’re feeling after 6 BFN’s myself in the past over 3 cycles...but I now have a baby, so it can totally happen!!!! It’s good you are able to go again, I think most people need two to three tries, some less some more. I think you’ll be feeling able to go again sooner than you think. Give yourself time to grieve and cry and hug then dust yourself off, and get back on it. It’s good that the doctors are hopeful for you so fingers crossed for the next time xxxx