6th IVF or call it quits?

[Zetp73]

Hi! I’ve never posted in a support group before, but I am in such a sad place and have no one to talk to. A little background about my IVF journey. My husband and I tried 1 year with no success so sought out a RE. After a few clomid cycles and a failed IUI, we went straight to IVF. Brief breakdown:

IVF 1 - 1 day 5 blast, PGS tested abnormal

IVF 2 - 1 PGS normal, failed transfer

IVF 3 - 2 PGS normal, 1 successful pregnancy (after ERA)

FET #2 - 1 PGS normal, chemical pregnancy (5 canceled FETs prior to this due to fluid in the uterus)

IVF #4 - 2 5 day blasts, 1 abnormal, 1 highly mosaic (decided not to transfer), dr also saw a chocolate cyst (ovarian endometrioma)

IVF #5 - 2 6 day blasts, failed transfer of both embryos

It took me roughly 3 years to get pregnant with my son, and now it’s been about 15 months trying for our second. An entire year of canceled FETS, two ERs, and another failed transfer.

As for my diagnosis, it’s mostly unexplained and I obviously have an egg quality issue. I’ve taken all the supplements you could think of to improve this but ever since I’ve started this journey, I’ve only ever retrieved at max 13 eggs and each time only 1-2 make it to blast. The last ER my dr. saw the endometriosis cyst, which almost certainly means I have it although I’ve never had a laparoscopy to verify this.

We still have a small amount of money left in our fertility coverage, however, will still have to pay probably half out of pocket, which is doable but I have this extreme guilt that I’m just throwing away $ our family could use somewhere else. I feel like this will truly be our last cycle, IF I decide to go down that road and I’m torn about whether I should just accept the reality or keep fighting for what I want.

I’m also questioning that if we do one more if I stay with my current RE or seek a second opinion. I have great respect for our current Dr. (he gave me my son) but i feel like we haven’t switched up my routine much. He also didn’t think the cyst or possible endometriosis would have an effect on my last FET. I’ve done some research and found another clinic here in my area has the best lab in town and the dr.’s have stellar ratings. I’m scared of going somewhere new though and becoming just a #, when I have great relationships with the nurses & staff where I’m currently at.

I’m sorry this is so long. I just need advice from people going through the same thing. What would you do?

[deedimd]

I would go have a consult at the other clinic and then see how you feel. A fresh set of eyes and opinions certainly wouldn’t hurt. In terms of whether to try another cycle or not, that is such a personal decision. Maybe taking a month off would be recuperative and give you a chance to decide between clinics.

[Zetp73 in reply to deedimd]

Thank you for the feedback. After a long discussion with my husband last night, he’s not ready to throw in the towel yet. He thinks a second opinion is what we need and I think so too. And yes, taking a little time off to get my spirits back up and time for my body to rest from all the meds.

[Hidden]

I am sorry you have had such a difficult journey but fantastic that you have a son so a little ray of hope in clearly a long period of darkness.

I am in a not dissimilar position to you, and considering my 6th cycle if my clinic will allow me to. unlike you we have had to pay for every cycle so are approx £35k down since we started. We are definitely going to keep trying as we are desperate for a child (we havent had a successful pregnancy yet) and basically try not to think about what might have been with the money and instead early on decided that nothing was more important on our wish list ... but I am also considering mixing up clinics. In fact at one point a few weeks ago I was determined to as I felt like my clinic hasn't really tried anything new except for some embryo glue, and seem to have a very laid back 'it will happen' type attitude, well time is ticking on (I am 43) so I can't keep just thinking that forever. Anyway when I started looking into clinics I realised all the tests I would have to do again, they would start right at the beginning and in the end it all felt like going backwards rather than forwards. You are clearly not in the UK so it might be different with you but I decided better the devil you know and to try again at the same place but have another meeting and insist again on discussing if there is anything else we can try. Obviously if they dont let us try round six we will look for another clinic but I feel like IVF is stressful enough - there is a certain comfort in being a 'familiar face' at the clinic when going through it all.

Also reading your post your clinic does a lot more testing than mine does if thats any reassurance (eg PGS, ERA etc)

Masses of luck xx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Wow, this has given me a bit of strength during such a dark time. Found out on Monday our 2fet did not work. It was our 3rd cycle and the thought of staring again is too much. The cost and the mental trauma is a lot to process. I don’t feel confident in retuning to the same hospital. I was actually thinking abroad.

[Razz9 in reply to Hidden]

I can really empathize with you because my 2 rounds of IVF didn't work, too, and it was a devastating experience...

What countries are you considering?

[Zetp73 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for sharing your story xx

I understand your pain and I hope your next try will be successful 💔

[MajaFlower]

I would get the endo removed and go to a new doctor

[SunnyDream]

I have no specific advice but just wanted to lend my support. You’ve been through so much and I’m sorry this road has been so rough. I wish you success on your next transfer.

[Zetp73 in reply to SunnyDream]

Thank you for your kind words

[leenad]

Well, I know how financially demanding fertility treatment is. I’d suggest you think about clinics abroad, where IVF is more affordable. We chose a Ukrainian clinic (I can give you more details if you wish). Prices there are less expensive, for example we paid 7k euros for 2 attempts. It was a nice clinic, so you might think about options abroad too.

[Zetp73 in reply to leenad]

Thank you! I am not sure if we are ready for that. Anyways, thank you for the reply.

[Sea_tan]

IMHO, a second opinion would help. We don't need to cut ties with your current clinic/doctor. You can go to another clinic to check it out. Also, I would check out the statistics of the clinic carefully (how many birth, etc). If you and your husband eventually decide to do it at another clinic, i think you can ask for your medical records or transfer the blood reports to the other clinic so you don't have to repeat them? I understand you have a great relationship with staff at your clinic but if it is too laid-back, unfortunately we must manage our own health sometimes.