Help! Work/stress!!

[Alwaysfullofhope]

Hi guys,

So not exactly just focused around TTC however hoping someone can help me!!

My current job is so stressful and to be honest I really do not enjoy it one bit (however company really good around IVF) I get paid quite well and the maternity at my current company is excellent (thinking ahead) however due to the stress I have been looking else where I dont exactly want to leave my current company for the above reasons but due to covid jobs are sparse in the company and the thought of staying in this current role for much longer depresses me!! I have been offered another role at my previous place of work where I loved working before (left because of rubbish maternity & office politics) but I would be taking a substantial pay cut and the maternity is rubbish!!

My deadline to accept the new role is COP today and the decision is causing me so much stress and I just dont know what to do starting my cycle again next month and (old company and new company ) are really good with me around IVF so no complaints on that front!!

Thanks ladies!!

[VMJ007]

Hello. I would not stay in a toxic job especially during this special time in your life. You deserve to be happy.

[Lumie]

Hi!

I had the same thing this time last year! I hated my place of work. loved my job but hated the people. I struggled everyday to wake up and I had episodes of depression. The maternity benefits were excellent and managers were so supportive, I could not have asked for better. I had been trying for 5 years at that point.

After so many BFNs, I made the decision to leave. I took a £10k pay cut and less benefits but I don't look back now. I am in a better place and I am 10 weeks pregnant with twins!

So I'd agree with VMJ007, don't stay in a toxic place. So what if the benefits are excellent... It's no use if you're not getting pregnant and never use it! It'll make you miserable and affect all aspects of your life like it did me.

Take the leap 😊

[Lumie in reply to Lumie]

Also, to help me make the decision, I wrote a list of advantages & disadvantages to staying in the job. And the same for leaving. I also looked at the maternity package to make sure I could deal with the drop in maternity pay. But tbh..... If you get pregnant, you make do and make it work regardless.

At the end of the day, only you will know what is best for you & your family.

I hope I helped and feel free to message me if you need to. I wish you luck. Xx

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi Lornajade. Oh dear, such a lot to think about, but remember that you are the most important person here, so perhaps make a list of the pros and cons for both jobs. Have a look through our "Fertility in the Workplace" information ttps://fertilitynetworkuk.org/trying-to-conceive/fertility-at-work/n and see whether there is anything re that may help you. Good luck! Diane

[Judy18]

That is such a stressful situation. I was once i a role that was a lot more money but i hated it. Had such an impact on my mental health (and I wasn’t going through IVF at the time). I ended up returning to my previous role and couldn’t be happier. Had an opportunity to work for another team in the same department and am so pleased i did it. If you can afford the pay cut then do what will make you happier. Easier said than done but i do not regret my decision one bit.

Hope it goes ok. Sometimes just having a decision made helps.

Sending hugs xxx

[Yehong78]

I’m so pleased to see this topic being discussed here! I’m going through the same thing! I work in a toxic office where people enjoy politics so much that they spent much of time spreading rumours about each other. Meanwhile, I have been offered a new job in a startup with significant pay cut, but smart people, very professional team and stimulating work. But I just got my BFP and that instantly led me to think whether I should bite the bullet and stay for the money and maternity leave.

I still haven’t made up my mind yet. As you would expect, I listed out the pros and cons. But we are really comparing long-term with immediate needs and both entail so much uncertainty! We want the choice to be the best for the baby, but we fear we don’t really know!

Sometimes in the morning, I would wake up and think I need a new job that makes me happy and it is good for the family and the baby. Other times I think, we’ll, I’m gonna stay till the end of maternity leave and then will figure it out then.. but I may not have another good opportunity as I have now, but I may! It is so hard to decide!

I guess I’m not really helping here. But by sharing this with you, I hope you will know that you have friends going through the same. I’d really like to know what choices you make and I will definitely keep you posted on my end.

Cheers

[Wannabemammy]

I truly believe that work stress was a significant contributing factor to my infertility. I snapped and ended up off sick... 3 months after doing that I fell pregnant naturally! Take that unexplained infertility diagnosis!

I returned to work in July (just after I conceived) and now I’m pregnant I will not be as work-otirntated! I’d take the less stressful job if I were you... a happier healthy mummy is what all babies need! X

[Hope76]

Hi can you negotiate a better deal regarding IVF & maternity leave for your new job offer ? I always believe honesty is the best policy. Be upfront with them about how you feel & they may just surprise you 🤞🏼