Rapidly losing hope 😭

[Jessy1280]

My 5aa embryo just failed.

In three cycles I've retrieved 50 eggs eggs, hardly any make it to blast. Now told I have age related poor egg quality and PCO. My clinic only now telling me this after 18 months! Initially thought we had just male factor infertility.

4ab bfn

4ab bfp ending in mmc at 9 weeks

4aa and a 2 double transfer bfn

5aa bfn.

I'm at an all time low and no cycles left. I have one day 6 bb left in the freezer from cycle 1 but what's the use!?!

I don't know where to turn and my clinic dont give a monkeys about us. Looking at going abroad as funds are now low. I've taken every single supplement recommended in iswte... Made no difference. I feel like this is never going to happen for us. I'm told I shouldnt use DE as I have high amh and I'm bound to find a normal egg eventually. It's so taken its toll and I'm really losing hope now given that I'll be 40 in December. Stories of hope welcomed xx

[Pinkybaby]

So sorry about that. All I have to say is be strong and never give up. Your miracle is very close. Stay positive ❤️

[Snez84]

I’m sorry to hear of your difficult journey. I felt the same as you after our 4aa failed to implant and our 4ab ended in a mmc at 10 weeks. We transferred our 3bc at short notice and on a whim and low and behold, the ‘poorly’ graded embryo is now our little boy. We had no hope and almost wanted to use the final embryo just so we could move on to another fresh cycle.

I know it’s hard to remain positive but you will find the strength from somewhere as you have before. Wishing you lots of luck for your next transfer and remember If the embryo is good enough to freeze then there is every possibility it will become your miracle 💕 xx

[Ivfgotadream]

I’m sorry you have had another failed round

Whilst I haven’t ever had 50 eggs I did have terrible fertilisation rates from my normal IVF cycles 1 and 2 (28 eggs less than 30% fertilised and 4 average quality blastocysts- 2 BFN, 1 ruptured ectopic)

I would seriously step away from the quantity over quality ethos - we took a gamble and changed to natural modified IVF and targeted much fewer follicles. In my next 2 natural Modified cycles I got 9 eggs 100% fertilised and I’m currently 13 weeks with twins from a double embryo transfer (which included a day 6 bb blastocyst) and I have 2 more top quality blastocysts frozen (so 4 in total)

For me taking a step back stripping back the drugs and letting my body have more say had made a huge difference x

[Lillilly]

Hey Jessy, I am so sorry to hear this. Reading your post brought the memories back of that horrible day at the clinic when the doctor told me that none of my 23 eggs had fertilised. Same thing happened next time. It was really really hard to take in. You’re asking for success stories. I can’t tell you that it’s worked with my OE but the success part is that I got through the pain and grief which at the time seemed impossible. I still have moments but looking at the advice above, if you have the energy and the finances and the clinic are in agreement, then try the modified approach. In my situation it became clear that chances of success with OE were very slim. My partner said he’d finance another attempt but then that would have been our last chance. In all the emotional chaos I figured out that we needed to go with the best option available which would increase our odds of a baby. I realised the genetic link wasn’t as important as I’d thought and so we moved to DE. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t easy. There was so much grieving. But the grief of the loss of my own genetic child doesn’t detract in any way from the excitement of my DE babies. I am due my first transfer in a few weeks. I haven’t even got them inside me yet but I love them so completely! So all round, for me, I feel this has been a success story.

I know it’s probably not the story you were looking for, but thought I’d share so you know it can still be ok.

Thinking of you xxx

[Shirazlover2013]

Hi Jessy, I’m sorry to hear you’ve been through so much. I can’t offer a success story but I can offer solidarity, I am in a similar position. I’m also turning 40 in December, have collected 41 eggs so far (I’m in my 5th fresh cycle right now actually), have PCO tendencies, have been on loads of supplements for years (ubiquinol, fish oil, myo-inositol etc). We have ongoing male factor issues and are currently at 38% dna fragmentation.

The only suggestion i can make is changing clinic/consultant to one you have faith and trust in. I don’t believe our first clinic (a well known “mild/natural” ivf clinic) tailored the protocol for my circumstances, I think they put me on “their” protocol which is suited to low AMH and other issues. This combined with their lack of experience with our male factor issues led to us leaving them and moving to a big London clinic. But I didn’t get on with our first consultant there at all so we switched to another one at the same clinic and she is wonderful. She listens to our ideas, suggests her own, took our complex case to the weekly group meeting to bounce ideas around with other consultants, I have total faith in her.

If I was you I’d use your last frozen embryo first, low expectations I know but it might surprise you. And have a back up plan for the next move if that fails, cover your bases so to speak. I know I always feel better when I have a plan. Maybe get some 2nd opinion consultations at some other clinics and ask what they would do (protocol for OE, switch to DE?, more tests?). Clinics at home and abroad are all doing video consultations. It will cost a few hundred £ for each consultation but it would be an investment in making the right decision so you spend the big bucks on treatment at the best place for you. It can help to have your history packaged up in electronic or scanned form ready to send to each prior to your consultation so you can spend that 30-50mins properly talking rather than them catching up on your history. I wish you buckets of luck and baby dust for your next move whatever that may be xx

[ClaudiaS]

40 is still young for this post i did it at 47 and i started 41!!! Find a clinic who gives a shit and make you feel that way! Alot of clinics makes video consultation for free.

Try greek , poland or chech republic for more quality and care but also value for money! My clinic was in athens and from my view is the best in the world! also has a big secret group on fb that helped me a lot.

[ttcemmie]

Oh god Jessy. Sorry to hear this. I don't know why clinics don't put more effort in to figuring out what's actually wrong rather than a "try and see" approach. I would definitely think about other clinics (even moving your frozen embie to another one if you don't trust this one). I'm in a similar situation with 4 failed cycles so far (including a mmc), but I have the hope and trust that it will happen for both of us. Give yourself space and time to deal with this latest grief, but I know you will be able to move forward from this. xxx