Just getting things off my chest

[Pinkyandthebrain]

Hello, I’m new here. I had a miscarriage about 3 and a half weeks ago when I was 9 weeks pregnant.

This was after about 2 years of trying, and 4 years after an endometriosis diagnosis.

Just feeling so fed up these days and need to find somewhere to vent.

I told a few people about the miscarriage when it happened and everyone was so kind but now I feel like everyone wants me to be back to normal, ie back to being cheerful, but it seems like I’m becoming more sad and bitter rather than less.

I feel like I don’t want to see anyone, I only feel at peace when I’m outside hiking in the country. I just want to be alone, even from my husband?!

One minute I’m fine then the next minute I’m tearful, or feeling angry/jealous.

I work full time and most of the time I’m glad to be busy but sometimes it just feels overwhelming, if more than one person comes to me with a query I feel like I need to hide and burst into tears. Having lots of system problems today and literally just feel like I can’t be bothered, like what’s the point of any of it anyway.

[FandF2020]

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m currently going through a missed miscarriage and feel exactly the same as you. It’s so difficult and if people haven’t experienced it they have no idea. I lost a baby 16 months ago at 15 weeks and everyone thought I’d be better off to go to work after 3 weeks and all expected me to just get over it. To some it might not be a baby but from the moment you find out you have a future planned with that child so when it’s taken away it hurts.

Do you think maybe you should’ve taken more time off work? Have you thought about seeing a councillor? I started at the beginning of this year and it helped me a lot.

I really hope you find the support you need. I’ve always found this forum to be so helpful.

[Hidden]

So sorry for your loss Pinky.

It doesnt help but what you are feeling is 100% completely normal. After my MCs I have always had this 'I want to be away from everyone' feeling. I havent told many people about all we have been through so have always found I had to put a false face on - I worked through two of my MC.. but inside I was screaming for some sympathy or some help or an explanation or SOMETHING. A counsellor said to me it was because I wanted people to acknowledge what had happened, so for you people have said sorry but it already feels like they have forgotten about it and moved on. So many people 'know someone who has had a MC and then went on to have a baby',.. I dont think anyone realises the pain, sense of loss, sense of lost hope and disappointment when it does actually happen. You have planned a future and you have lost that as well.

I just wanted to say it does get a lot easier but one of my losses it took me maybe 6 months to feel completely 'normal' (whatever that is) and during that time I went from desperately getting back to TTC to actually just abandoning that completely, getting hammered and trying to find the old me before the MC and pregnancy. Not that that is the right thing to do but I wanted to say you will be ok, feeling isolated is very much part of the process, and things are still so early for you there are a lot of hormones and other emotions running through your body.

Huge hug xx

[Buisquits]

Hi lovely. I understand how you feel right now. I had miscarriage in early April and just coming to terms with it now.

Ignore other people, they try to be supportive in their own ways, they try to make it easier for you, but they cant. But they do mean well.

My advice is to invest in counselling, it really helps to get things out if your chest, and its worth every penny.

I feel much better now that we stopped trying again and came back on the pill. The weight is off my shoulders for now. We are going for FET in january.

Feel free to message me if you fancy a chat x