Update :3 months on from MC

[Kathryn1984]

Hi everyone,

I hope everyone is doing ok on this tough journey. I’m 3 months on from miscarriage and wanted to give a little update how I feel, with the hope it might help others. The first month was really difficult. It was so hard for me, the grief and the anger was overwhelming at some points. At times I felt such a strong rage that it frightened me. I went to my GP and went on antidepressants. I also left my stressful job with a bullying boss. I stepped down, and it’s been the best decision I ever made. I started seeing a counsellor, and that helped me with my grief, my anger and jealousy.

Loosing my baby has given me time and perspective to think about my life. I was working for a company, pushing myself beyond stress for what reason? For who? Not for me. I’ve been thinking about what my baby would want, and my baby would want mummy to be happy. I really feel that my life has changed since my miscarriage, it’s taught me a lot of lessons. I’m focussed on myself, and enriching my life, and appreciating my lovely fiancé, my beautiful dog, and our friends and family, who have supported us through the worst time of our lives.

I still have moments where I feel sad that I only had such a short time with my baby. I’m still caught out by moments of deep hurt. But I’m trying to move forward in memory of my angel, like she’s watching me from above.

I just wanted to post because I never thought I’d be able to survive in those first weeks after. And anyone reading this who is there now, I want to say there is life after miscarriage, you will be happy again, it just takes some time, and going through the grief process.

Good luck to everyone here, whatever stage you’re at. Xxx

[Hidden]

Sounds like you have had incredible courage to make amazing positive changes to your life. Very inspiring.

xxx

[Autumnmoon]

Well done for getting to this point and being kind enough to offer hope to others wishing you all the best for the future x

[Hidden]

❤

[Hidden]

So beautifully written ❤️ and I’m really happy you have managed to find peace. There will always moments where you will remember the loss and feel sad but it does get better ❤️ My miscarriage is coming up for a year and like you at the time I never thought I’d ever get out of that hole but it is amazing what strength we have in us to keep going ❤️

I’ll leave you with something lovely my fertility doctor said to me when I last saw him “ through the dark cloud the silver lining is that you did conceive and this is positive. “ .keep the faith sweetie 🙂 xoxo

[Kathryn1984 in reply to Hidden]

Here’s hoping 🤞 we tried first 2 months and nothing. This month I went visiting family by myself, on fertile week of course! So I’m not expecting anything this month. Which is kind of nice. I’m going to try and not get too long obsessed with conceiving again. I hope everything is looking up with you x

[Hidden in reply to Kathryn1984]

If it makes you feel better I haven’t conceived since my loss nearly a year ago. But my endo has been making things very difficult for us. 🤦🏽‍♀️

2 months isn’t that long - I know every month when trying without a pregnancy seems too long but it takes most couples about 6 months to conceive.I would carry on as normal as you can and let it happen when it happens 🙂 I’m sure you will fall again 🙂 ❤️

When I start trying again ( I’ve just had surgery for endo Monday ) I will try to be more relaxed and normal and even allow myself have an odd glass of wine. Just to keep myself calmer!😆 Remind of this when I’m stressing out 😆🙈

Hoping because the endo is all gone we have a better chance but I have to visit my endo gynae over another issue before we can start trying ; at least it’s only a month for the appointment 👍

We will do both do this 🙌🏻 xoxo

[Kvelvetrose]

Well said Kathryn, I'm glad you are starting to come out of the other side of that long dark tunnel.

I hope that when you do decide to try again, the reduced stress and greater understanding you have now will settle you and everything will go smoothly for you. I have everything crossed as you will make a great mum

If you ever need to chat just msg me xx

[Dreamingofbaby]

Well said and totally agree. Such a tough experience to go through but that so great u been able to get something from it and make adaptions right for u. It such a hard experience but let’s hope we all get there one day soon☺️. Def understand the emotions. Been about that amount of time for me too and am better but still look and feels sad at times but know understandable. Gotta try be good to us. Take good care xx

[AllWeNeedIsluv]

Your a lovely incredible woman, your right it's significant moments like loss that teaches us to dig deep and really be honest with ourselves about what our lives are about. I'm happy to see you've took steps to benefit you and yours and not others that just don't give a 💩. Well done hun loss is such a awful time and it does truly hurt in every way possible but there is life and we have to carry on for our own sanity in our own time. Determination understanding love and support all help. Really hope your time comes soon my love when it does the anxiety will be at another level but you'll get through it with the support unit you have and us on here. Big hugs and lots of love 😘😘💖💖

[WeeMrsH]

💖💜💛 xxx

[Mifkipi]

Beautifully written. Thanks for sharing! I'm glad you managed to get some positives from all that you have been through. I hope when you do try again, you will get the result you deserve xx

[Lyn84]

Thank you for writing this as i had a miscarriage a couple of weeks ago and i at one point frightened myself with how much dispair i felt i have decided to focus on my health and to de stress as my job can get very stressful which does not help when trying to conceive the more i read of other womens miscarriages the more i find myself wondering how they find the strength to carry on but i think time does help to heal i am glad to read that you are in a better place and i wish you all the best for the future

[Kathryn1984 in reply to Lyn84]

It will get better. I found my grief goes up and down, but I’m gradually learning to live with it. I’m trying to think I was lucky to have my little bean for 10 weeks, and that I’m proud that it grew and survived for 10 weeks. I’ll never forget my baby, and the love I have for it. Time is a healer. I found talking about it helped me come to terms with it. And then, just setting myself little goals, like getting through a day at work, or going for a jog, or tidying out my wardrobe. Then I’d feel like I’d achieved something, and I was on my way back to enjoying life. I’ve made an effort to pick up my hobbies again, like gardening and dressmaking. It’s made me feel like I have a life and a future, when I felt like my life had no meaning anymore. I really hope you will feel better soon, it’s a tough road, but it will turn. Just time and patience and being kind to yourself xxx

[vic77]

thanks for bravely sharing . our mc was 3 months ago too and I am amazed I got this far still standing ..I still have down days but it does her easier..I still miss our baby everyday tho and think of then all the time..we have changed and yes like you in some ways for the better but I also feel I carry a sadness with me always now 😢xxx

[Kathryn1984 in reply to vic77]

I feel sadness. And I feel really bad when I think of where I’d be now if things went another way. But I feel a little bit of joy that I carried my baby for 10 weeks, and that we were together for that short time. I talk to my baby sometimes, I know it’s silly, but I say to him/her that I am proud that they grew and survived for 10 weeks. I’m not religious, but I feel like my baby is still with me in some ways. When I’m struggling with life, I think of him/her and I try and be strong for them. I know it’s silly, but it’s helped me feel more positive about my baby’s tiny life.

[vic77 in reply to Kathryn1984]

not silly at all..I do the very same. we also bought a rose bush for garden and got a wee plaque made and I talk to it..neighbours must think I am nuts talking to the trees😂xx

[Cinderella5]

Im sorry to hear about what you've been through. You sound very determined and Im very happy for you that quitting your job has been such a positive influence on your outlook and wellbeing! Wishing you all the best in your continued recovery!xx