Failed IVF

[Simz143]

Hi,

Yesterday I had the most devastating news after doing my beta hcg test on day 11 that we are not pregnant. I was advised not to do a pregnancy test on day 10 and to only come to the clinic on day 11 for the blood test. The clinic couldn’t explain why and said the embroyo just didn’t stick despite it being a good quality one.

I know it’s our first cycle (fresh transfer) which has failed and there is always another chance to try again, but it’s been heartbreaking and words can not describe how me and my husband feel at the moment. We have one more frozen embroyo and have said we will try again either it is frozen or a new fresh cycle to produce more eggs.

I want to try again soon but I feel I have put my body through a lot and don’t know when it is realistic to go through it again. Maybe wait two more cycles of my period then try?

We’re living in uncertain times with Covid etc just worried of second spike may delay us.

I also do not want to rush into another cycle if I haven’t given my body enough time.

It’s a horrible feeling and has shattered us but I will not let us lose hope.

Any advice would be appreciated

Thanks

[jengi]

I’m so sorry. I understand, how painful a failure is. Please allow yourself the time to grieve, be together & look after each other. Have a chat with your clinic & see what they advise. Our bodies can be very resilient, it’s our mind we need to watch out for. I found counselling really helpful, a safe environment to say what I was thinking, it helped give me clarity and prepare my mind for the next steps. Big hugs. Be extra kind to yourself lovely Xx

[Faith212]

Hey simz I’m so sorry to hear. I know how you are feeling and The pain your heart must be going through.

But like jengi said our bodies are resilient.

Defo speak to clinic. I’m 40 going to be 41, last year exact same thing happened nO rhyme or reason.

Sending you so much love xx

[LCharlton]

Really sorry. I think often when we've been struggling with fertility for ages and finally get referred for IVF, we feel like it's some kind of "magic bullet" that's going to fix the problem. It's really hard when you realise it's not - that it gives you a better chance, but there's still so much random luck involved and more than half the time IVF isn't going to work. It can feel especially difficult if you've not processed your feelings about dealing with infertility because you believe IVF will make it all go away.

It sounds like you need to look after yourself emotionally right now and make sure you're feeling ok before you try another transfer. Does your clinic have a counsellor you can speak to? Hopefully you may find once the initial shock wears off you feel a bit better xx

[Sas1101]

Hi Simz, I'm so so sorry. I can empathise with how you're feeling as I too had my first cycle (fresh) fail in December. It will hit you in waves so I planned days out, saw friends and binge watched some good TV programmes.

Remember to be kind to yourself, and do whatever you need to make yourself feel as better as you can. I found that in time planning for my next round helped. Feel free to PM me anytime you need. Big hugs. Xxx

[Luna_79]

Hi Simz, so sorry to hear of the pain your going through right now, we had a similar situation 2 embryos they transferred 1 embryo that they told us beautiful quality and we thought that was it, I bled at 9dp5dt and was so so heartbroken, we’d taken one step at a time until the but after the transfer I had just hoped so much, it didn’t implant and consultants didn’t say why . At the time I was so upset I said didn’t want to go through it again but we had a frostie on ice so deep down I knew I would, we would have been due to transfer our second embryo in April but then COVID struck!! But finally we transfer on Fri this week, half of me is excited the other half is desperately anxious.

I know a failed transfer is devastating but give yourself time to process and your body a little time and soon enough you will be ready to try again, keeping everything crossed for you xx

[Peanutchips]

Oh lovely. I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this. It’s so heartbreaking when it doesn’t work. All I can say is let yourself grieve, look after yourself and put your needs first at the moment. It’s a really tough time. You will feel ready to try again, promise. But don’t feel hard on yourself if you need a little time. Sending hugs 💕 xxx

[RhinoCat]

Sending hugs. 💖💖💖This part of the journey hurts so bad. Take whatever time you need. Everyone is different . I personally felt that skipping on and booking next review and cycle helped me stay ‘in the fight’ if that makes sense.

Don’t rush any decisions until you’ve had a few days of self care and doing and eating your favourite things .

Each day it gets better 😘💐💐💖💖💖💖

Bless your hurting heart this day

💐

[Simz143]

Thank you each and every one of you for all your kind words and support it means a lot.

The upsetting thing is they couldn’t tell us why it has failed which makes me scared to try again as it’s heart breaking. I am definitely taking some time to myself, eat whatever I want and look after myself.

I will not let this lose hope I will try again once I’m ready.

[Stato in reply to Simz143]

It definitely is heart breaking. But in the first round they’re trying to get the meds right. No one can promise it will work next time either. But try not to be scared. You still have a chance to make your happy family. Much love from us all 🤗