Having a down day

So I had a further update from the clinic where I have my egg collection and transfers I am a satellite patient of theirs as all my scans consultations etc are done at my local hospital. They advised they are now doing transfers and would I like to do my frozen transfer I advised it would be difficult as going for scans an hour and a half away 2 or 3 times as per my last cycle would be really difficult with work as I have just started a new job ironically at the local hospital where I was having treatment! She then said that she would point out that if I was to start treatment I have to self isolate from when my period comes! How the heck would I be able to do that even if I could start treatment this would mean telling work which I don’t want to do as new job and don’t want this held against me! I know they shouldn’t but could use this as a reason for me to not pass my probation. And I need to be in the office to do my job. Just wondering if anyone else clinic advised similar. Feel really down as with being 43 time is really against me and this has just made it worse she said my local hospital is nowhere near ready to start planning treatment sync if they do they would be recommending self isolation as well. Am I not meant to be a mum as this is all feeling like everything is against me atm.

[User20]

Hi Coral76,

I am. About to start my cycle at the end of the month. My clinic (I am doing scans etc at my local hospital, not at the place for egg collection, similar to you) has recommended to self isolate from the start of my period and expect me to self isolate from last Covid swab taken at last scan before egg collection and egg collection itself.

Luckily my work knows about my IVF (my practice manager had IVF herself which helps) and they are very accommodating. I wasn't sure what to do, but have decided to take holidays and unpaid leave to self isolate during that time, from the start of my stimulations.... I didn't want to take any risk in contract Covid and having my cycle cancelled as a result of it. I'm paying so much for my meds that I didn't want to risk having my cycle cancelled. I'm 41 and I know I've got the one chance.....

I do believe a lot of clinics will have similar advice following Government recommendations...

Hope you can get a solution and wishing you all the best with your treatment!

[MissSaoPaulo]

Do you think you would really regret it in the future if you didn't give this chance everything you've got? There are enough obstacles to overcome in IVF anyway, don't let logistics get in the way too. One way or another, you can solve your logistics and job issues and make it work. It may not be ideal, it may cause some headaches but... this is your life dream. I hope you can work it out xxx

[SparkleCock]

Hey sweetie.

Ug - so many obstacles to overcome.

I was supposed to have my FET at the end of March, just before my 44th birthday and then COVID, so I have these beautiful embryos trapped in Greece!

I have just had to come to terms with fact if I am lucky and transfer works - I will be 45. The good news is - we've both got our embryos and the doctors can create an ideal situation for our womb's to nestle those babies.

So if you can bear to hold off a bit and get through your probation period then it would all be a lot less stressful.

Dealing with the delays is awful when you want to be a mother so desperately but... lesson we're all having to engage with!

Good luck with your decision

xxx

[SparkleCock]

Honey - another thought. Can you not have the embryos biocouriered to your place of work? May cost a bit more but then no travel and no quarantine? xx

[Nat246]

Hi I have to travel an hour and half to my scans too, which is stressful! My clinic have also said both myself and husband need to be doing everything we can to avoid people. We had to sign detailed disclaimers about this and every single time at an appt we need to sign forms again to state we don’t have COVID/been around anyone that does etc. So I don’t think it’s just your clinic. It’s another stress on top of all the existing stress!!!

[Vivi85]

I agree with MissSaoPaulo, don't let logistics hold u back. I put off TTC so I could commit to work but now I wouldn't let it get in my way. Are any clinics offering 'isolation notes' so patients don't have to use all their annual leave?

[Calyami]

Hi Coral76,

It’s a long shot but some companies have an IVF policy, does your workplace have one? Either way, I would advise you to contact HR as soon as possible, and speak to someone in confidence.

Most decent employers would not hold this against you and you won’t be the first and last person in this position. It’s also good to let them know so that any absences will be expected and accounted for.

It sounds like you’re getting stressed out and there may be no need.

[Hidden]

Thanks to everyone who reached out and responded to my post sorry it’s taken so long for me to reply but in the end I think I just needed to take some time out as couldn’t make any decisions and whilst I know lots of you said I should put this before anything else unfortunately life is not that easy bills still need to be paid and work has to be considered as we may need the money to fund future attempts if we go down the egg donor route. I am hoping to start a round end of Sept we have a holiday booked end of this month so plan on enjoying that where ever this turns out to be. Wishing everyone out there the best in their journeys whatever that may be and thanks for being there to support me. Xx 😘

[RhinoCat in reply to Hidden]

Ignore my reply above! The thread popped up and I misread the timescale! So glad you’ve found a way to get back to your treatment. Wishing you the very best 😘💖💐

[Hidden in reply to RhinoCat]

Ha ha no worries it has taken me this long to reply! Unfortunately can’t work from home due to nature of my job but hopefully in Sept things will work out trying not to think or worry about it as so much can change in that time with Covid best of luck with your journey xx

[RhinoCat]

Ya know, lots of us ivf sisters struggle with the same thing. The work over self thing is so hard when it’s all you know.

But you also know that time is ticking .....which is the most frustrating thing!....is there anyway that you could shield and work from home? At the end of the day it’s treatment? Is there anywhere else you could have your scans and bloods? Closer that would allow you to be an hour late and work and hour on after work? What about the hospital you work in? Do they have an ivf area? Or ward that could help you out? Could you go at night for private scans somewhere else? Would that be feasible?

I think the shielding is their recommendation but it can’t be possible for most? If it is your only chance it might be worth speaking to someone at work to tell them of your situation.

When does probation finish?

Oh I wish I could fix this for you so much 😘😘😘💐💐💐💖💖💖 you don’t need added stress 🤪

[Rcs11]

Hello lovely. I would 100% tell work. What have you got to lose? If you work in a hospital (NHS I presume?) there are ivf policies in place to help support you. I hope it’s not too bold of me but at 43 I’d say prioritise your fertility. I’ve had to self isolate prior to a hysteroscopy & I worked from home (the best I could as a midwife!!) Good luck xxx