So the lady who sits right next to me at work, has just told us she is Pregnant. She is 35 and its to be expected as she said she wanted to start a family soon. A close friend has also announced she is expecting her second child, she is also about 35. I am happy for them but can't help but feel like half a person. Knowing I have to attempt IVF again in the NY, just makes me feel so frustrated. Not to mention penniless!
So annoyed with myself for feeling like this, I've been pretty up beat until now!
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Emska77
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So sorry, pregnancy announcements are really difficult. I dreaded them for the painful feelings they would provoke 😢 definitely not alone with how you feel.
I wanted to wish you the best with your next cycle& really hope it will be you soon announcing happy news. I know it’s hard but keep going & believing ❤️❤️❤️✨✨✨ You can do this- next year will be your year 👍 xoxo
It is so hard and frustrating being surrounded by people who seem to just fall pregnant at will when you're struggling. I'm 34 and it took us 9 years and donor eggs to get to where we are. I know it feels so unfair and constantly like you're just waiting for it to be your turn but at least you have a plan in place and a definite start point in the new year to focus on.
Try and focus on the positive things like the fact you can enjoy Christmas without worrying about cycling, drugs, and not being able to have a drink.
And remember it's OK to be happy for others and yet jealous and a bit sad for yourself sometimes. It doesn't make you a bad person, just a person that desperately wants something.
Thank you, I’m so comforted by your words. I have just felt at rock bottom recently. Your right, it does just feel like endless waiting. Being 41 - 42 in March - I’m just starting to panic I think xx
Hey, I think its only natural. My two closest female colleagues at work - one is due to give birth today and one is 20 weeks pregnant and complaining about EVERYTHING and drinking copious amounts of wine. They both know I had a MC a few years ago, and know I am desperate for a baby, but don't know about the IVF and the fact I am in the middle of my second round. I am continually amazed at their complete lack of acknowledgement of how difficult it must be for me, and lack of thought when they either celebrate or complain dependent on their mood. But I think people are fundamentally selfish. I've tried to get over it but I just can't. So I try and ignore it, seems like the only way forward and avoid the topic wherever possible with some sort of dismissive comment without being mean/unfeeling.
I am sure this makes me a terrible person, but for our own sanity I think we have to be selfish - we have enough going on without having to deal with these added emotional distractions. Sending you a 'know how you feel and it sucks' hug xx
I really resonated with your post! You’re not a terrible person at all- I think I’m realising I need to be more selfish to protect myself more! I’ve also watched someone in my friendship circle drink copious amounts of wine through her pregnancy 😖 (I couldn’t belieeeeeeve it!) big hugs for you too Xxx
I totally relate. It is so frustrating to listen to it day in day out. Your right that we need to be selfish here. It’s the only way to cope. Sending you a big hug back xx
Exactly how i feel at times and pretty much most of the women here as well.
All this pregnancy announcements and births omg they can make us crazy..
No, you are not half a person and never ever call yourself that way anymore.
You are just a human, human with feelings and emotions and you just sometimes struggle with the anxiety brought by all these infertility issues... It sucks and is difficult, it hurts, makes you feel different and sad and all these negative feelings and emotions...
There is always light at the end of the tunnel, there is rainbow after the rain it's all cliche but it's the truth.
We can't really change who we are and when and how things happen, so the only choice we have is to accept our life they way it is, keep our hopes and positivity and carry on.
Sooner or later will be your turn, it might be even sooner than you think.
Keep smiling and never forget that things could have been way worse than that.
Sending you millions hugs and a big smile 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗❤❤❤❤❤xxxx
I never thought that this journey can be so frustrating. I remember now when i was 16 and diagnosed with pcos, the gynaecologist told me one day i will struggle to conceive and i didn't care i was 16... 14 years later these words sound completely different.
For the past one month my bf gave birth and I'm a God mother, hubby s best friend had a baby on Sunday and i was a spare birth partner but ended spending 2 hours sunday and monday with them after baby was born, my ex boss had her second one todat, the two young girls from my neighbourhood had babies, another few announced pregnancies... And i can't even remember the rest this year hahaha...Its madness..
But we can't really do anything but carry on living and fighting.
I sometimes cry just to release the negative energy and after a good night sleep i feel better.
I am in the same boat as yours. It can be very difficult at times to cope with such situations. Its like I feel good for them but I just feel about my own self. One of the reasons I prefer being alone. However, that is not the best thing to do. Its become even hard to be between people who don't know what you're going through. I hope things go well for us. Sending baby dust your way.
In this situation, I just think this is a completely understandable way to feel. It’s what I think I’m struggling with the most. I’ve only ever wanted the best for people and especially in the last year, I’ve become someone who’s jealous and can’t be happy for people - I hate it but I think it’s our body’s reaction and we can’t control it. Got three people that I’m really close to pregnant at the moment and I feel like the worst person ever but brief moments I can understand that it’s just the struggles we’re going through that’s making me feel like it, I’m not a bad person - and that’ll be the same for u as well. Hopefully u have more up days than down on the horizon xxx
I feel like I could’ve written this! Sorry to hear you’re having a down day, I keep trying to remind myself that they do pass. Sending you love and hugs and loads of luck for NY mission xxx
Hi there. I can empathise with you there. We are so happy at first for them but as time goes on it gets harder. I always find that all conversations, esp in the office, relate to babies! 🙈 But we have to realise that it's their time, they are allowed to talk about it. Just like you are going to be next year 😁 It will happen ✨
I'm currently going through my first IVF. SURROUNDED by pregnant ladies. The hardest has been my sisters in law, both have had babies, so I'm getting "the looks"! But that's to be expected I guess 🤷♀️
I wish you all the love and luck. 2019 will be your year, just keep thinking like that 🍀 ✨
The conversations about babies are daily, there is another lady opposite me who had twins last year. What makes it worse is we were ttc at the same time. She has gone on to have her babies (she has a 5 year old as well) and I have nothing. It’s just been too much recently. Wishing you lots of luck for your treatment though, it’s an exciting time for you! xx
The jealously thing is something that’s hard to accept about myself, but I am jealous and I can’t deny it. I just have to bottle it up and not show it. Thank u goodness for this forum, it keeps me sane!
I know what you are going through. Pregnancy announcements can make you feel bad. It's so heart-wrenching when you are surrounded by people with successful pregnancies.I went through all this too. You are not alone. I hope everything works out for you. Just Stay strong and avoid thinking about all this. Sending baby dust to you.
Hi! I can understand how hard it is for you. It's totally normal, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Just stay strong and keep trying. Hopefully, it will work for you too. Good Luck.
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