Hi guys I need your help 😢

Hi guys I thought I was coping with being strong about this pregnancy but I'm actually struggling now 😢 I can't help but feel I'm not gonna see a heartbeat at second scan which feels like miles away........ I know I can have private scans but feel like I'm only gonna be anxious until first trimester... I keep Googling about missed miscarriage's and thinking it's gonna happen to me... Please just message me positive and reassuring messages if any xxx

[Hidden]

Hello Eram12, these are fearful times and I am probably even more scared than you. I am writing this for us both, we have to be strong. Just breath.. and hang on to your last scan result because that is the only real thing, any other thought is speculation and it isn't tangible.

I am sending you hugs and courage to believe you will pull through. Sending you warm hugs warrior sister, we have got this ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thanks hun xxx

[ttcemmie]

Hi love. Sorry to hear you're struggling at the moment. It's extremely hard to feel secure in something that you can't see, especially when it has been a hard journey to get to this point. If having another private scan would reassure you then go for it, but remind yourself to trust in your body and it knows what to do. The embryo is its own entity, but your clinic will have put the best one back they could that has the best chances. Sending you best wishes and good vibes. Try and focus on something else if you can - anything that you love and will help take your mind off worrying about the pregnancy. xxxx

[Hidden in reply to ttcemmie]

Thank you hun I will be so relieved once I'm out of the first trimester.. xxx

[HollyT7]

You can do this!! ❤️ Send positive thoughts to your little one who is getting nice and comfy right now 💞those sad thoughts serve no purpose when you can try and have happier ones until you see that little tots heart beat 🍀 You are strong. You have overcome so much to get here. Every hour down is an hour closer to that scan. it helped me having private scans. I found that I was OK for a while after having one then had an urge to book another so I'd either take the days hour by hour until it was too late in the day to book one for that evening or book one for a few weeks after to give me an aim. xxxxxxx

[Hidden in reply to HollyT7]

Thanks hun. I spoke to my husband and decided we will have a 10 week scan... Then will have one at 14 weeks. Its just so hard... Its only been 6 days as well since last scan. 😐Xxx

[HollyT7 in reply to Hidden]

I was EXACTLY the same. It does get easier! For me it didn't calm down fully until 20 weeks when we eventually told the family... but it was a lot lot better than the start! You just be as kind as you can to yourself. I know it's hard and full of worry but you will get there and the time will zoom by a lot quicker than you think. I only have 7 weeks to go and it went from counting up the weeks to counting down incredibly quick!! You will pass that 12 week mark before you know it xxx ❤️

[Hidden in reply to HollyT7]

Was you ever worried about missed miscarriage? In your first trimester? And congratulations 🙂 you are not far of now xxx

[HollyT7 in reply to Hidden]

We had a chemical with our first so my mind was in overdrive for quite a while when we got our bfp with our frostie. I was always worried baby had gone and was suprised at every scan..I'd be like, oh its still there look! Before you know it it'll be like having a little Jackie Chan kicking about in there!

Your mind can really be cruel to you so my best advice, as hard as it is, is to have a little pamper, have a nice warm shower, eat your fav food, before it makes you want to throw up! And don't feel guilty about your feelings or be too hard on yourself but we know what a scary and worrying time this can be. To get that bfp has been a challenge in itself so celebrate how far you've come and know what your feeling is totally normal. xxx

[Hidden in reply to HollyT7]

I'm sorry you have been through so much your self. Yes your mind can be so cruel I think for me it's because I conceived my daughter natrually and this pregnancy icsi because of it being an IVF treatment I feel like it's too good to last if that makes sense xxx

[HollyT7 in reply to Hidden]

I know, but it's not, and your here 🙂 So do whatever you need to, to get your thought this, whether it's scans, or chocolate or just venting on the forum! xxx

[Hidden in reply to HollyT7]

Husband is gonna cook me dinner and dessert then chill 🙂xxx

[Sarah83ap]

Omg I’m the same!! Been going crazy all day because I had an eptopic last time I was pregnant (over 10 years ago) and I just keep freaking out!

How far gone are you? When is your scan?

Xx

[Hidden in reply to Sarah83ap]

I'm 7 weeks tomorrow what about you? Xxx

[Sarah83ap in reply to Hidden]

I’m only at 4 weeks. I’ve just books. To have a HCG test done to make sure my bloods are multiplying as they should (my clinic don’t do them normally they say POAS) got my first scan booked on 31st which if we go into lock down will change and I’ll have to wait longer!

I know that this worry won’t be doing the baby any good so really hoping the blood yeast eases my mind a bit xx

When is your scan? Xx

[Hidden in reply to Sarah83ap]

I already had a scan at 6 weeks. So will be having a reassurance scan in a few weeks privately. Xxx

[JoP32]

Hi lovely. I completely understand. The only way I could put my mind at rest a bit during our third pregnancy was to have weekly scans until our 12 week NHS one (I think the people at the scan place were like. Jeeze, them again?! 😂🤦🏽‍♀️)

It did cost a fair bit but compared to ivf was pennies and it was worth it to help manage the anxiety- for me, it massively helped. Xxx

[Hidden in reply to JoP32]

Just read your profile you had a few MMC im sorry..😒 why did this happen? Xxx

[JoP32 in reply to Hidden]

We dont know why the first 2 happened- presumably chromosome issues as is often the case. The third one was not really a miscarriage - medically it’s classed as one but we had ‘bad’ results from our 12 week chromosome tests so had to make the heartbreaking decision to end the pregnancy. Xx

[KayCan]

Aww Eram12, you are not alone in your thoughts but you have absolutely no reason to think that at this point anything is wrong.

Every stage of pregnancy is a worry, as you get over one hurdle then something else makes you worry, we are all human and this is all natural.

Please try and remain positive, I know it's easier said than done, but trust that everything will be ok, its the only thing you can hold onto. Perhaps it would be worth looking at some meditation apps to help clear your mind from negative thoughts and concentrate on the positive.

Try and stay away from Google, it's the devil!

Good luck with everything x

[Hidden in reply to KayCan]

Thanks hun. Worst thing is I don't have any infertility issues at all... But yet I can't trust my body... Did you have any infertility issues? Congratulations btw 🙂 xxx

[KayCan in reply to Hidden]

You just have to trust your body, it knows what to do.

I had unexplained infertility, after 3 years of TTC, and an early miscarriage we went down the IVF route. I was exactly the same as you in that I just didn't trust that my body would do what came naturally but we were incredibly lucky that it worked first time for us. I have had some wobbles along the way, but my body has not let me down, us ladies are incredible ❤

[Tiddly1984]

Hi Eram, I think the biggest hurdle is getting past 6 weeks. I think that is the most vulnerable and likely time for a miscarriage. Your 6 week scan was fine so please try not to worry. You have as much chance as anyone of having a viable pregnancy and dispute all the miscarriages that occur your chances of having a healthy pregnancy far outweigh the risks. Be kind to yourself and try to let your mind rest and your heart enjoy being pregnant. My advice stay away from Google because you’ll work yourself into a frenzy and you don’t want stress to affect what is a beautiful start. Remember many woman aren’t aware that they’re having a miscarriage so looking for signs won’t help in most cases. Be as positive as you can. Wishing you the best because I’m sure all will be fine....x

[Hidden in reply to Tiddly1984]

Thanks that is exactly what I needed to read. Made me feel loads better thank you xxx

[Tiddly1984 in reply to Hidden]

You’re very welcome...x

[KiboXX]

Hi Eram, I felt exactly the same. I know it’s hard but just consider every day an achievement. Try to embrace and enjoy it, because you are pregnant and you deserve to be happy about it. You’ve beaten the worst odds and they are now in your favour. Sending you a big hug xxx

[Hidden in reply to KiboXX]

KiboXX you are absolutely right I think I am not letting my self enjoy this pregnancy and know that I have beaten the worst odds. Tomorrow I will be 7 wks and will celebrate that by treating my self. Thanks for your positive comment xxx

[kt_11]

I was terrified of mmc despite being fortunate enough to not have been in that situation before. I think fertility treatment just makes you really aware of how fragile those early stages are and how easy it is for something to go wrong.

I always found that each time I had a scan, I felt reassured for a week or two and then the anxiety kicked in again.

I don’t think there’s much that will reassure you but I always tried to remind myself that worrying wouldn’t help. If the worst happened I’d still feel just as bad whether I’d been worrying about it or not. My little icsi baby is 22 months old now and I still worry about him all the time!

Wishing you all the best with your pregnancy x

[Charliebenj]

I was exactly the same as you, my anxiety went through the roof, and I just keep googling about different type of miscarriages. I couldn’t stop myself. However don’t beat yourself up, it’s an incredible anxious time and you will get through this. Try to keep you mind busy and distract yourself. The end of the first trimester will come but as every day passes just think that your baby is growing vital body parts so the first trimester is super important.

Your body is doing something awesome and you will get through this phase.

X