I’m so sorry this is related to my pregnancy but as I’ve used this forum for a few years now and I just feel more comfortable here and know you ladies can offer so much support.
I’m sick to death of people (mainly my younger sister) telling me to stop “moaning” about my sickness. I mean seriously? Apparently I’m boring her now (her words).
I said I think maybe people need to be a bit more clued up and informed on how serious and horrible this condition is. They should try going through it before telling people to stop moaning. She said I have I’ve had THREE kids. I said you didn’t have hyperemesis. According to her she was hospitalised with sickness her third pregnancy (guys this didn’t happen, she definitely wasn’t). Then she went on to say how it’s going to be tough, it’ll be hard when the baby comes too. That’s when it might “hit me hard”!
Guys I’m at the point I’m about to explode. I’m meant to be going down to hers after my flu jag appointment and I don’t want to even look at her now, however I’m desperate to see my nieces and nephew as haven’t seen them for months.
I’m so fuming, I’m sorry but if you’ve suffered from hyperemesis you would never tell someone to stop moaning, you’d just get it!
😡😡😡
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Amanda86
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Im completely with you on this! My sickness has not been as bad as yours that's for sure but I had nausea all day for the first few weeks and also the worst back pain ever which is still going now to the point i cant move properly!
My work colleagues were saying this is all you wanted and now you don't stop moaning, my partner used to say you need to stop moaning and get used to it and that is not what you want to hear when your feel like shit!
Everyone's pregnancy's are completely different so while some people can sort of sympathies with you others think your completely over reacting and just moaning all day!
Don't worry you can moan all you like here and no one will tell you to stop haha
Thank you so much. You would think women most of all would support each other. I can understand men slightly more as they’ve not been through it.
I’ve had all that too, this is what you wanted. Funnily, I don’t remember saying I wanted to have severe vomiting and struggling to get out my bed. I’m sure you didn’t wish for severe nausea and back ache. People are so cheeky.
I never wan to seem ungrateful, I really am not. But why do people ask questions relating to your pregnancy then tell you to stop moaning, gets on my nerves!
I’m just going to say fine to everything from now on since I moan too much lol.
I’ve never had hyperemesis but it’s quite clear it’s not a pleasant or easy condition to have so sorry your sisters being so insensitive. I think it comes back to the lack of understanding or just not wanting to understand what a rough time your having. One of biggest pet hates is when people say ‘but I have x amount of kids or think yourself lucky’ as it doesn’t help at all every situation is different.
Would it help explaining to her in person how hard it is, I know you said you’ve lost weight to so maybe if she hasn’t seen you for a while she’ll be able to see the physical affect it’s having. Sorry I can’t offer much more advice but hope it goes well and you enjoy the time with your niece and nephew xx
Unfortunately she’s just the type of person who it seems if the conversation isn’t regarding how unwell she is then she’s not interested.
I agree, it’s irrelevant how many children you have. Everyone is so different.
I feel so annoyed at her because she’s been in hospital almost a month having recently been diagnosed with lupus which I understand is very serious, everyday she’ll send me a picture of something or say something about her illness, days where I can’t stop vomiting but I’ll always reply and it’s genuine concern and empathy that I have for her, she rarely asks how I am and on the occasion she does I get shot down.
You poor thing. I have been so lucky with the sickness side but the indigestion and reflux is going to finish me off if it doesn't stop soon!!!
When I moan at work they look at me as if to say stop moaning because being pregnant is what you wanted but it's hard when you are so tired and feel too rubbish to stay happy all the time.
I get we are lucky to have our bfp but it doesn't mean we can't be miserable for feeling unwell too.
Hi Amanda, its been long time I hadn't visited this forum n today just read ur status. Nobody explained me if I got hyperemesis in my pregnancy or not but the symptoms say I had. I also started vomiting from weeks 4 till the day I gave birth to my little hero. I used to vomit more than 20 times a day till weeks 15. I could not do anything except lying on the bed since weeks 5 to 15. From weeks 16 slowly I started to continue my daily activities n job but still vomiting at job place too. Slowly after 20 weeks vomiting decreased n it was 3-5 times a day. There was not a single day I didn't vomit till weeks 28 . Aftr 28 weeks it didn't come everyday but it continued...again from about week 36 it became almost everyday till the day my little hero came. However I was happy n coped with all difficulties as we were getting the biggest happiness of our life. I m sorry, instead of soothing u ,I explained my difficulties but want to say that please try to cope, afterall it so worth n u get ur life, yr heartbeat n ur happiness. Ur sister truely lovs u so c s trying to make u easy though c does not know how u feel it. It s definitely irritating whn people say that it s difficult to b a mum n u need to face it as everyone does. Every pregnancy s different n some mum get worse condition. I hop u feel better soon n u can rant on ur sickness too.
Thanks for your reply and sorry to hear your sickness was so severe. It’s not easy but I know it’ll all be worth it, just wish everyone would be as understanding as all the lovely ladies here 🙂 xxx
I’ve known people with hyperemesis and it’s definitely not worse once the baby arrives. She doesn’t know what she’s on about. Maybe you both need a pact- neither of you will mention sickness!!
Thanks for your reply Lizzie. I think she meant when baby arrives in general it will be hard, I actually felt bad cause when I went to see her she had got me a nice gift. Just don’t appreciate being asked how I am then told to stop “moaning”. From now on though I’m just going to say I’m fine if she asks lol xxx
No I didn’t mean the hyperemesis isn’t worse once you have a baby (though reading back I can see it looks like I’m saying that!). What I meant was that for both my friends who had full-on “signed off work” hyperemesis, it was harder being pregnant than having a newborn. That’s what I meant by her not understanding how difficult it is for you right now. I’m glad she was nice to you. Siblings, eh?!
It sounds to me that she may be a little envious of you expecting. Despite her having her own children, the focus and limelight will now be heading to you. I find people get very ‘authoritarian’ when they feel a little threatened. You’ve been through ivf. You can handle anything even if it is tough on the way. You’d like her love and support but if she is going to make this a negative time for you, you can’t engage with her. If she continues to ‘lecture’ you, I’d say that to her. Good luck. x
Hi Amanda86. Oh dear, so sorry she is being so insensitive. Just down to a bit of support and understanding. Maybe she's a bit stressed out about something at the moment. Morning sickness, however mild or severe is pretty miserable, and it's so difficult to hide how we look and feel when going through it. I know that should she need some support, for whatever reason, you will be there to listen. It's so difficult to ignore people like this, but just carry on being the good person that you are, and let's hope you soon get some respite from feeling so rotten, and get to enjoy your pregnancy more. Thinking of you as always. Diane
I had hyperemesis when I was pregnant yeas ago and was paranoid it would happen again. Thankfully I wasn't that bad but my pregnancy was still awful and everyone was telling me how bad they were feeling cos their food tasted funny or something. I wanted to punch them!
The thing is people don't believe how bad it actually is. Especially people who have been through pregnancy with relatively few problems really cannot understand how hard it is not eating anything for weeks on end, your weight going down to 6 stone, throwing up in excess of 50 times a day. They think you're exaggerating or that it's 'only' for 9 months so you should just get on with it, even though you can barely get out of bed.
What really pissed me off this time is people saying if I thought pregnancy is tiring wait until I have a baby. I was sleeping a maximum of 2 hours a night, for months when pregnant. Being a parent is one huge long lie in compared to that!
However having a shit pregnancy does have the advantage that being a new parent seems so easy in comparison!
Hope you feel better soon. Unfortunately I was still being sick at almost 30 weeks! xxx
Oh sorry you are getting this from your sister. She sounds annoyed at the fact you genuinely have something to moan about though Ive no idea why....its sounds like hell what you are going through! Hope ranting to us has helped get the livid feeling out of your system a bit!xx
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