I need your help: Hi, everybody. I’m... - Fertility Network UK

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I need your help

silvermoon2016 profile image
14 Replies

Hi, everybody. I’m here to find some help and advice on what to do further. I’m not infertile and can conceive, but I suffer from kidney problems. My GP tells me that they can just stop working properly if I try to become pregnant. Getting pregnant with kidney problems is also quite risky for a baby as he won’t be able to develop properly. After long discussions and visiting quite a lot of doctors, we decided to find a surro mum for our future child. Here, in the USA, it’s possible to do it. We contacted several fertility clinics and agencies, but it costs too much for us. We can’t afford this as my hubby is opening a new business and we aren’t sure whether we’ll be able to pay for everything. We decided to go abroad where surrogacy is cheaper. I have several cousins in Ukraine. They advised us to visit this country and find surrogate there. Surrogacy is allowed in Ukraine and there are quite a lot of infertile couples who choose this country as their final destination. The clinic is situated in Kiev, the capital city of Ukraine. It has quite a lot of favorable feedbacks on various fertility forums so we just tried to contact them. When we came to Kiev we were met at the airport and provided with meals and nice apartment. However, it was the end of the things we really liked about this clinic. Firstly, this clinic turned to be a small private villa. It was so tiny and overcrowded, that we had to wait nearly 2 hours to consult the doctor. We saw large queues nearly everywhere. In addition, we met one couple from France there. They were getting their oocyte donation program there. The husband was annoyed very much, because he had to wait nearly an hour to pick up his sperm. Bad organization was seen everywhere: overcrowded clinic halls, unfriendly and busy staff, tired and very formal administrators. The doctor whom we met spoke with us very formally. We clearly understood that she treated us like dozens of other patients. Of course, we didn’t sign up a contract, and now we are thinking what to do further… I just want to ask your opinion about this clinic… Is there anybody here who has contacted it? What do you think about the clinic that can’t organize its work properly?

P.S. We have also visited another Ukrainian clinic.The clinic looks rather presentable. We were met by a courteous administrator, polite manager and a very soothing doctor. We liked the way we were treated there. However, the clinic hall was nearly empty if compared to the other clinic. Can we trust this clinic??? Or maybe it’s better to contact another clinic or maybe another country???

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silvermoon2016 profile image
silvermoon2016
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14 Replies
mhairielaine profile image
mhairielaine

I have no experience of surrogacy or know of anyone going to the Ukraine for this but I do have experience of going to several different clinics for treatments and investigations and would always say to trust your instincts. The busy clinic might be a good sign in terms of overall results (who knows though, just going on popularity) but i guess you need to weigh that up against potentially many months ahead of all the correspondence, discussions and ultimately trusting them with what is one of the most important things you'll ever do. You have to be happy with your choice and it doesn't sound like you are with either clinic at the moment.

I'm not sure what to suggest to help you research these clinics or your options more - specialist support groups online (or any fertility/pregnancy forums) to see if you can recommendations or try checking the list Of specialists attending different fertility fairs. Sorry if those are obvious things that you're already doing, just don't have any experience in this area.

Hope you find what you're looking for!

AlisonO profile image
AlisonO

We are afraid that we have had to edit the main post in this thread by removing the name of the clinics mentioned. We don't allow comments to be made about specific clinics or medical professionals on the community. If you wish to know about others experiences of a clinic then you can post a request for this, but we ask that the other users of the community contact the person posting directly via the private message system and do not post comments directly on the community. We also ask that when posting the request that the person posting includes no comments about the clinic as we will either edit or remove posts that we believe to be inappropriate.

Please see our posting guidelines healthunlocked.com/infertil...

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MariaL1 profile image
MariaL1

Hi, dear. Really sorry for you having so bad experience with that clinic. Finding a surrogate isn’t easy, I guess. If I were in your shoes, I would make sure that they’ll treat your surrogate really well. She’s the woman who’ll carry your child the next 9 months. Your baby’s health will depend on what she’ll eat and drink. Just ask what service will they provide to a surrogate and you’ll see whether they’re professionals or not…

silvermoon2016 profile image
silvermoon2016

Hi, everybody. Thanks for your messages. I’ve decided to post here cause I need some help and advice. Unfortunately, I wasn’t attentive enough to read all forum’s rules properly. I beg your pardon for violating some of them! I’ve decided to contact this clinic cause they have very affordable prices. We’ve found loads of favorable feedbacks about them on various fertility forums. We also liked the contract they offered us to sign up. According to it, a surrogate mum is supplied with all necessary things, including medical insurance and medical treatment (if necessary). The clinic pays the surrogate’s accommodation and food expenses. In case of miscarriage and abortion after the 12th weeks of pregnancy, a surrogate mum is paid a money compensation. She should also visit the clinic monthly for a medical checkup. The clinic’s representatives may phone or pay a personal visit to her apartment to check everything is ok. These are the things we liked about this clinic. When we came to Kiev and visited, we saw quite a lot of surrogates in the waiting hall. However, I didn’t like that they made us wait in the queue… It was really disgusting!

MariaL1 profile image
MariaL1

Silvermoon2016, if the clinic really treats their surrogates the way you’ve described in your post, it may mean that they take a professional approach in treating their clients. It’s great!!! But before contacting them, I would recommend you to consult the attorney to make sure that you’ll be able to leave the country without problems. You should also make sure that you’ll be able to enter your country without any problems. I think it’s also a key moment in choosing the clinic. Don’t you also think so? Just try to get as much as possible information about this question, dear!

silvermoon2016 profile image
silvermoon2016

Hi, MariaL. Thanks for your message. I’ve also thought about this quite a lot of time. We decided to choose Ukraine because it has very loyal surrogacy laws. The intended parents are considered to be the biological parents of the baby. The surrogate can’t claim her rights to the baby. In addition, the clinic’s representatives will help us to get the child’s Birth Certificate from the Ukrainian Regestry Office. I reckon this paper will help us to leave Ukraine and enter our country with the baby without any problems.

RobertaR profile image
RobertaR

Hi, everybody. I’m also interested in surrogacy as I can’t give birth to children by myself. Two years ago, my womb was extracted… but I didn’t manage to give birth to my own children yet. Now, my DH and I want to find a surrogate to help us become parents. We’ve also got interested in Ukrainian clinics. We haven’t chosen a clinic yet, so I want to get as much information about Ukrainian reproductive clinics as possible. Silvermoon2016, you’ve written that the clinic will help you to get the child’s birth certificate. However, your baby will need quite a lot of attention and care during its first days. Will anybody help you to look after the baby? Are you planning to hire a babysitter?

silvermoon2016 profile image
silvermoon2016

The clinic will help us in some way. They’ll find a highly-qualified babysitter for us. She will come daily and take care of our child while we are busy. The baby will also be checked daily by the attending doctor. In case of urgent situation, we’ll be able to phone an English-speaking pediatrician 24/7 a week. If necessary, the doctor may visit our apartment and check the baby there. I think our baby will get all necessary care during his first days of life.

RobertaR profile image
RobertaR

Sounds nice, dear! If the clinic really provides its clients with such services, it may mean that they try to treat their clients really well. Newborn babies always require loads of care. I think it’s better to ask a professional babysitter to look after the child than to take him with you everywhere. Silvermoon, does the clinic charge a fixed a sum for its services? Will you have to pay any money to a surrogate for her services?

P.S. As far as I know, reproductive clinics like to charge additional fees from its clients.

serlorera profile image
serlorera

hello silvermoon! i don't know what did you choose exactly but as far as I understand you signed with that overcrowded clinic right? you now i'm now looking for a clinic with the same options and harrowed the list to 2 clinics in 2 different countries, Georgia and Ukraine. It's quite convinient to me because I have relatives in both these countries and I have a place to stay for a while.

Could you pm me with those clinics' names? And make some update, are you still waiting for a surrogate mother?

silvermoon2016 profile image
silvermoon2016

Hi, Roberta! Nice to meet you, dear. I don’t think the clinic will charge any additional fees from us. According to the contract we’re to sign up, they will charge a fixed sum from us. This sum will be divided into several installments and we consider it to be really handy. We can make the payment either in cash or via a bank transfer. According to the contract, the clinic will also assist us in taking care after the baby. The attending babysitter will come daily and look after our baby. The baby will also be checked by the attending doctor daily. In urgent cases, we may call the 24/7 hot line and consult the English-speaking pediatrician. The specialist may even visit and check our baby at our apartment.

RobertaR profile image
RobertaR

Sounds nice, dear! If they really help you with taking care after your baby, you’ll get enough time to prepare all necessary papers for leaving the country. Regular medical checks will show whether your baby is healthy or not. Dear, will the clinic charge any additional fees from you? I know that reproductive clinics like to do this? Will you pay any money to a surrogate? Will you use a bank transfer to pay for the clinic’s service?

silvermoon2016 profile image
silvermoon2016

According to the contract we’re to sign up with the clinic, they will charge only a fixed sum from us. This sum will include all necessary payments (including payment to a surrogate). We may make a payment either in cash or use a bank transfer. The fixed sum will be divided into several installments. For us, it’ really very handy. We won’t pass any money to a surrogate. What do you think about it?

silvermoon2016 profile image
silvermoon2016

To tell the truth, the clinic really differs among its counterparts. We plan to visit it one more time soon. The clinic’s representatives phoned us and my hubby had a frank talk with them. He told them all the things we disliked about our first visit. The client manager apologized and told us that the clinic is sometimes too overcrowded to serve all the clients properly. They plan to open three more offices in Kiev to enhance the quality of their services. The client manager promised us to plan our next visit much better. I think it’s worth to give them a second chance.

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