Having a demanding job on this ivf journey

Hi lovely ladies, I have a demanding job at a fast paced company and have to work long hours. It is mentally and physically draining while I am on this ivf journey. I do meditation, swimming, yoga and acupuncture to decompress. Sometimes I wonder whether work stress could affect the outcome of my ivf treatment. Is anyone in the same situation? Has anyone had successful ivf treatments despite having stressful jobs? Thanks, all! Xx

[Lots8788]

Hi Dreambaby. Mine can be the same, stressful, demanding, lots of deadlines,long hours. On my first cycle i told my boss and she was brilliant and made adjustments to support me through. Second cycle (FET), we didn't tell anyone. It was a really busy stressful period and I was working silly hours but it worked (though MMC, likely to do with embryo). I therefore think if it's going to work, it'll work, but I suppose the less stress the better generally speaking. Good luck with your next steps xxx

[Hidden in reply to Lots8788]

Hi Lots8788, thanks for sharing your experience with me. I am so sorry to hear you had a miscarriage and hope you would have more luck next time. I agree the less stress it is, the better it is. I took time off during my first FET but it didn't work!

All the best to you! Xxx

[Lots8788 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks hun,all the best to you too xx

[Hidden in reply to Lots8788]

Thanks, I hope to hear good news from you soon! Xx

[haileyp85]

I have a high pressure demanding job after my transfer I took 2 weeks holiday from work I’m now 32 weeks . Once I went back to work I told them straight away and I said that I had to take abit of a step back . I have them no option to force more stress on me . X

[Hidden in reply to haileyp85]

Thanks for your positive story which has given me some hope. Congratulations!!! Your approach is great! How are you feeling? Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy! X

[haileyp85 in reply to Hidden]

It’s important to be positive and relax . It’s been fairly straightforward just sore ankles . Good luck we your journey I hope everything goes well for you x 😊

[LunaLovegood11]

Hey there, yes mine was similar. I was worrying if stress was one of the reasons I wasn’t getting pregnant... I found keeping busy really helped in the waiting periods as I didn’t have too much time to think about it all. Sometimes I had to say ‘no I need to leave’ when I had appointments but I think if it’s going to work it will - my round was successful, I’m 22 weeks tomorrow. Exercise is great to switch off so keep that up. Best of luck x

[Hidden in reply to LunaLovegood11]

Hi, thanks for sharing your positive story with me! Congratulations!!! It is wonderful! Like you, I leave early or work from home when I have appointments. I agree exercising is good for destressing! Wishing you a healthy and happy pregnancy!!! X

[LunaLovegood11 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you! Sending lots of luck your way xx

[Hidden in reply to LunaLovegood11]

Thanks! V well received! Xx

[ttcemmie]

Hi other lovely lady! I have a stressful job (or at least I find it stressful!) and during my first round of IVF I was working until midnight some evenings and some weekends. Somehow still got pregnant (but later MMC). I do worry that work stress affects me, but the clinic has assured me it won't affect the pregnancy outcome, just my own self. I have since decided I am important too! (not just the embryos) And so I have pulled back quite a lot at work, including taking quite a bit of time off. Sadly, this is definitely affecting my career, but IVF is just more important to me right now. xxxx

[Hidden in reply to ttcemmie]

Hi, thanks for sharing your experience with me. I am sorry to hear you had a miscarriage. Like you, sometimes I work silly hours. My boss still wants me to do more! Like you, I have decided ivf is more important than my career progression at the moment. Sending you lots of baby dust. X

[ttcemmie in reply to Hidden]

Sorry if my story wasn't more positive, but I meant it to come across in the way that work stress didn't stop me getting pregnant! Glad you have decided that IVF is more important at this stage. The time we spend getting pregnant will be a lot smaller than the length of our careers! Lots of time in the future to work! Yay. Baby dust! x

[Hidden in reply to ttcemmie]

Thanks for your good vibes! Are you receiving an ivf treatment? If so, I wish you lots of luck with your cycle! Xx

[ttcemmie in reply to Hidden]

I have just started injections for my fourth cycle! Thanks. x

[Hidden]

I also have a stressful job and a 4 hour round trip commute most days (2 trains 2 tubes each way) with laptop etc. I have never taken time off for IVF and actually not taken any time off for any of my miscarriages or surgery as my consultant regularly tells me it won’t have a negative impact ... but I am seriously considering being signed off for a couple of weeks after ET this time. Work doesn’t know about ivf and I struggling with prioritising .. I get quite bitter and twisted or upset when I have a client escalation or pressure for not hitting my targets and want to scream at people about what I am going through - I think this is winding me up more and more and surely that can’t be a good thing. My one watch point is my other half has pointed out he thinks I am going to be more stressed NOT working and watching the chaos unravel and not be in control! 🤦🏼‍♀️

Good luck whatever you choose xx

[L400ynd in reply to Hidden]

My husband said I would have been better at work to take my mind off it. I haven’t decided what to do for round 3 yet xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for sharing your experience with you! I am sorry to hear you had a miscarriage. You have done so well! Your commute is so long! I hope you could work from home during your treatment. Like you, I find it diffcult when I have tight deadlines to meet while juggling with appointments. It is great if you can get a few weeks off after ET. I took a few days off for my egg collection and will get my second FET in April. When will you have your transfer? Wishing you lots of luck! Xx

[L400ynd]

I have the same kind of job and I took the entire cycle off work. It didn’t work for us even when I was off work.

As long as you are looking after yourself you should be okay love. Everyone is different, working doesn’t mean it’s not going to work. Good luck my darling. Xxxx

[Hidden in reply to L400ynd]

Thanks for your great support! I agree that looking after ourselves is important! I am sorry your cycle didn't work. Like you, I took 1.5 weeks off after my transfer last time but it didn't work. Are you doing another cycle? Sending you lots of luck! Xx

[L400ynd in reply to Hidden]

Yes. We are trying one last time and hoping it’s 3rd time lucky for us. If it doesn’t work then we are going to stop.

Is this your second cycle? When are you starting or have you started already? Xxx

[Hidden in reply to L400ynd]

Hi, best of luck with your current cycle. Hope you get your bfp. Please keep me posted! Yes, it is my second cyle. I just finished my egg collection and would have my FET next month.xx

[L400ynd in reply to Hidden]

We are giving ourselves a break before trying again. That second cycle knocked the stuffing out of me both physically and emotionally. Going to relax and enjoy our lives for a few months without thinking of ivf.

Our whole world has revolves around trying for a baby for 4 and a half years now. So we decided we needed some time for just us. No trying to get pregnant. Just having fun and enjoying our life.

Let me know how you get on sweetie. Sending lots of luck and baby dust your way. Xxx

[Hidden in reply to L400ynd]

Thanks for your good vibes! I am so sorry that your second cycle. It was upsetting. I felt exactly the same after my first failed ivf.

It is a great idea for you to take time out to enjoy life a bit. Maybe you could get pregnant naturally without ivf!

I will see my consultant to discuss the next steps and definitely keep you posted. Xx

[Francezc]

Hi dreambaby, my first attempt I took a week off annual leave after transfer and worked the second week but it failed and I was so distraught I was signed off for two weeks. This time the FET I wanted to give it the best chance and was open to my boss and told her I was going off sick after transfer unfortunately that didn't work either and I have currently been off for five weeks as I was in bits. I'm going back to work tomorrow. Next try I will book a week off annual leave and test day as I have tried both being off and being in work. Wishing u all the very best. Xxx

[Hidden in reply to Francezc]

Hi Francezc, I am sorry to hear that your cycle didn't work. It is upsetting. I hope you are feeling a bit better after taking some time off. I also plan on taking a week off as after my transfer.

I hope you get your bfp during your next cycle. X

[Francezc in reply to Hidden]

Thank you lovely. I hope you do too 🥰

[Kaylon]

Hi Dreambaby, I had a busy job too and did 3 rounds and 4 transfers while working full time. All BFNs. In the end I thought something had to give and I now work part time. We made lots of changes and our last round worked. I'm currently 16 weeks pregnant. For me personally the stress of working full time was too much and I wanted to focus on the IVF more fully. I would have regretted had I not done that. But I'm 38 so for me time was also of the essence and it was a now or never type of situation. Good luck xxx

[Hidden in reply to Kaylon]

Hi Kaylon, thanks for sharing your positive story with me. Congratulations! How are you feeling? Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy!

Out of interest, would you mind sharing changes made to this cycle? Thanks! X

[Kaylon in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much we changed everything pretty much. Chucked out all plastic and replaced with glass, same with regular cosmetics and replaced those with paraben free etc ones a bit along the lines of the It Starts with the Egg book recommendations, we saw a nutritionist and started eating all organic food and took a load of supplements, cutting out sugars and caffeine and "bad" foods. My hubby saw a urologist as that's where our main issue was. I reduced my hours at work and told them we were doing IVF which hugely helped manage my stress levels. And we changed clinics which also really helped as our previous clinic wasn't very good. I'm not sure what exactly made a difference but I like to think maybe each little change had a marginal impact and altogether that was enough to get us our much longed for BFP. We had 2 disastrous rounds prior where we didn't even get one blastocyst and that last round we had 3 good quality blastos! It all felt like a major lifestyle change but we felt we needed to give it our all or we would forever regret it! Xxx

[Hidden in reply to Kaylon]

Thanks for sharing all the helpful tips, Kaylon. That is a great outcome!It is so nice to know your dream has come true! I have also used some tips from the book. Wishing you a very happy pregnancy! Xx

[Kaylon in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much Dreambaby. Hoping you'll get your rainbow baby soon too xxx

[Hidden in reply to Kaylon]

Thanks so much for your good vibes! V well received! Xxx

[Newton2018]

Hi there, I’m in a similar position I work long hours with a high pressure job at an advertising agency but I asked to work from home the week after my embryo transfer, and although I wasn’t resting as such I think it made a huge difference! You’re doing all the right things with your yoga and accupuncture etc though so hopefully that will also help create a bit of balance even if you don’t have the option to take any leave or work from home. Good luck with everything x

[Hidden in reply to Newton2018]

Thanks, Newton 2018. I can imagine how stressful your job is. I work in law and the hours are long. I agree working from home takes pressure off a bit though we are still working. Are you receiving your treatment? Best of luck with your treatment! I am waiting for my second FET to be done next month. X

[Hartley1]

I have a stressful job...running my own pharmacy and I work one day at boots it's so stressful! On my 3 previous rounds I was working non stop set alarms for injections I'd turn them off as serving customers etc and sometimes be late for injections. The only time I had off was for the 2 week waits. None of the tries worked. Im 38 now time is ticking. This time round I have taken time off since Jan from my own business..employed a locum and signed off from Boots since Feb... pre injections I was going to gym classes yoga acupuncture lots of walking eating better on some days and just focussing on me (plus my MIL wasnt there for 2 months...that helped my sanity)...sorry I didn't share before but it was a much better outcome...I got a BFP for the first time ever...been married for more than 10 years and trying since 2012. I'm just really scared of MMC and complications as I have thyroid and kidney issues...my PCOS has been a blessing for my AMH levels. Ive stood up to my MIL so many more times. Not been back to work yet ...have a scan booked on 17th march and until then just dont want to go back to work. Maybe I'm being silly but working for a multiple or your own business is not easy. My advice is do what you feel is right.. if you want time out take it...it's not forever. Xx good luck

[Hidden in reply to Hartley1]

Hi Hartley1, thanks for your positive story. Congratulations! It is an exciting time for you. Good luck with your scan. Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy. X

Time is also of essence to me as I am 42 and started TTC two years ago. I don't want to give myself pressure. Am waiting to get my second FET done next month.

[Hartley1 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks so much xx Best of luck to you xxx

[Vegemite]

I own my own business and I told my staff that my OHSS is that bad I can’t work... it sure doesn’t stop them being pathetic and ringing for the most pathetic reasons. I’m quite sure my blood pressure is sky high, simply because I have 4 year olds working for me. Honestly all I need is rest and water not highschool drama.

So I wonder the same... is there a planet that exists where we get to focus solely on our health?

[Hidden in reply to Vegemite]

Hi Vegemite, thanks for sharing your story with me. Like you, I also have to deal with work dramas

It would be great if we could focus on our health only!

How is your cycle going? Best of luck!

[Vegemite in reply to Hidden]

Still on couch after 2nd EC... mega shaking , bloating, pain after I eat and dizzy spells... it’s insane this round... currently waiting on the day 5 count. We had 20eggs (40+follicles) but it’s down to 9 already... I know I have to be grateful for whatever we get, but it’s hard to get blown up like a balloon and not want it all...

[Hidden in reply to Vegemite]

Hi, I am sorry to hear your OHSS. Did the clinic give you any medication to help with it? Hope you can rest lots! Your results are amazing! 9 is really good. When is the day 5 update? I think you could have a great outcome! Wishing you lots of luck! X

[Vegemite in reply to Hidden]

I’m on antibiotics, blood thinners and pain relief.... we knew that it would happen as my body despises synthesised drugs. Last year I ended up in A&E with a reaction to Lubion... so from next week I’m doing all natural... not even multivitamins.

Going to try and eat my way to health.. which isn’t that hard. 1/3 cup spinach is close to a 1/3 of your follate requirement. (Folic tablets are harder to break down in your body anyway. )

As for the progesterone is seems to be a UK trend not to test beforehand and simply over medicate as a rule. So I shall be demanding more tests and asking more questions from now on. No more A&E visits

Day 5 update any minute...

Thankuuuuuu for your positive thoughts xx

Stay true to you, and let others know when they are too demanding

[Hidden in reply to Vegemite]

Thanks for your good vibes! Good luck with your day 5 update. I know how nerve wrecking it is! I hope you get positive news! X

Sorry to hear you had an allergic reaction last time. Definitely ask for more tests and go for a natural diet. Last cycle I had to press for a progesterone test to be done and my level was only 30 on the transfer day. So I am looking into improving my progesterone naturally but haven't got an answer yet.

[Afrohair]

Hi I can’t comment on ivf but do think stress is a big factor which can deter pregnancy my gynaecologist actually does a lot of ivf and said it’s one of the biggest factors which deter pregnancy it’s actually true when people relax they usually have better results.I had a missed misscarrige last year and said that this time I will definitely step back from work when ttc I have a condition called endometriosis which has a big impact on me physically so I have physical stress and emotional good luck on your journey x

[Hidden in reply to Afrohair]

Thanks, Afrohair. So sorry to hear about the missed miscarriage. It was upsetting! Sorry to hear that you have got endometriosis.Do not lose hope as a lot of ladies here have the same conditions seem to have bfps after having ivf. Sending you lots of good vibes.

I think cutting back on work definitely helps me sleep better!

[Afrohair in reply to Hidden]

I have took a step back from any managerial or supervisory role and now it’s just little old me working one day a week the quietest day of the week and I love it that way but I do know not everyone can do it especially when paying for ivf .I am awaiting surgery to see if it improves my chances of pregnancy so have not got up to trying ivf yet I’m told I can keep trying naturally if I wish but it’s not certain I will carry full term but who knows.my partner works night shifts including overtime almost every day 10 or 11 hour shift so I’m grateful for that If I needed ivf I would have to work more hours to pay for it so I know not everyone can do it Wish you all the luck in the world x

[Hidden in reply to Afrohair]

Thanks for your good vibes, Afrohair! Sorry to hear you might need a surgery. Are you OK? It is good you don't need to go through ivf. Sending you lots of baby dust! X

[Ljayne]

Hello there, I'm in exactly the same boat. A very demanding and stressful role! I actually changed my career from commuting to London to just a 30 minute drive each day, but still in a demanding job position.

I report to two Vice Principals who couldn't be more opposite. A female who has known my condition since day one, who's incredibly supportive and when I was beginning IVF, ensured I wasn't under pressure and I had help. On the other hand, the male Vice Principal is very old school, demanding, doesn't have time for time wasters, not looking to make friends and learn more about you as a person, however, he didn't know my anything about my condition.

When I was having time off for appointments, the female Vice Principal was forced to explain to him what I was going through as he was becoming really agitated that I was leaving early and complaining that a few tasks hadn't been completed. Since then, wow, he has cut me some slack, it's like he's a totally different person, he even asked me how it was all going! So where I'm going with this is, please let your relevant bosses know. If you feel they're not supporting you, discuss the issue with HR.

I do accupuncture, yoga and have started to meditate. I eat a low carbohydrate and low sugar diet (one cheat night a week). No caffeine and instead, lots of hot lemon, nettle and ginger. No alcohol, I instead go for flavoured waters. I don't follow my advice on this as much, but get a good nights sleep and my husband gives the best massages to help relax me.

All the best with your journey, I've just been through one failed round of IVF. Seeing my consultant in 2 days to discuss the second round.

[Hidden in reply to Ljayne]

Hi, thanks for your detailed response. I am sorry your first ivf cycle didn't work. I was in the same boat last Dec. Good luck with your appointment on Wed.

Thanks for sharing your useful tips. I have been on a similar diet too. Hope your next cycle would be a success! X

[Hidden]

Your body would be use to your work and your doing all the right things to de stress, my last job involved night shifts for two weeks then day shifts that was on my first treatment but I have changed jobs to a different kind of busy with no night work, I also understand it can take several cycles for ivf to work so hopefully our cycles work bleesings and baby dust to you ❤️❤️

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hi Myeggs, thanks for your support and good vibes! It is great to know you don't do night shifts anymore. Are you now having your second ivf treatment? I wish you the best of luck with your cycle! X

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hi dreambaby yes I have started down regulating so all being well this 2nd cycle works, thank you for replying baby dust ❤️❤️❤️

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thanks! That is great for u! Good luck with your cycle! X

[Lynnr54]

I also have a stressful job (seems like lots of us warriors do!). I have quite a lot of short notice meetings and long trips away (sometimes day sometimes overnight) so I took the decision to tell work about my fresh cycle as I knew that I would need loads of appointments and the date of EC was unpredictable. I went back after EC but then took 2 weeks off after embryo transfer. I got a BFP that round. Because work knew about the pregnancy fairly early on and I had really bad pregnancy insomnia I felt I could push back a bit on my work load.

I also had 3 Frosties but when I started trying for baby no. 2 I didn’t tell them that time because I knew I wouldn’t have the same demands in terms of loads of appointments and the uncertainty of egg collection. I did plan 2 weeks annual leave though after ET and was able to juggle my work load so that it didn’t matter when I changed it by a few days towards the end of my cycle. My first two cycles were a chemical pregnancy and a BFN. I don’t think I was under particular stress during either cycle. My third frostie I did plan to take 2 weeks off but a conference that I needed to attend got in the way so I actually ended up going to the conference after my transfer and then taking a week off after that. I was also in the middle of a couple of other big projects and it was quite a stressful time. That round actually ended up in a BFP and during my pregnancy work was quite stressful including some very late nights and tight deadlines. It didn’t impact my pregnancy thankfully. My feeling is that stress certainly doesn’t help you when you are ttc and in the middle of a cycle, but it doesn’t necessarily stop a cycle from working either. Having said that, if I were to do it all over again I would still take the two weeks off after each transfer purely for the peace of mind rather than worrying that a stressful time was going to impact the outcome. Good luck with your next round!

[Hidden in reply to Lynnr54]

Hi Lynnr54, thanks for sharing your positive story with me! You have given me some hope! Your job sounds very stressful! It is great to know that you have had two pregnancies despite the work stress! You are a warrior! Thanks for your positive vibes! X

[Bunnywoo]

Hi @Dreambaby, I too have a stressful job and work full time. My boss knows we're going through IVF, but hasn't lifted any pressure off me work wise, but is fine about me going to appointments and we do have a IVF leave policy at work for 1 week off full pay per round of IVF (up to 2 times in one year) I am doing donor egg IVF, so I haven't had to do any of the ovary stimulation that many of you ladies have to do, so I haven't felt the need for time off yet. Nor have i had an embryo transfer yet. But I am planning on taking some time off for FETs. I've recently changed to a different job within the same company, a sideways move but into a more familiar area, and I have also asked to go down to 4 days a week which has just been accepted. I plan on spending my 1 day off a week to go to yoga, out for walks, clean (in a relaxing Mrs Hinch stylee) and generally just take some time out for me. I'm not sure how it will work, and whether I will just have 5 days worth of work to do in 4 days and get paid 20% less - I hope not! I think that whilst work can be an excellent distraction from IVF, you must try to take time out when you feel you need to and not feel guilty for doing so xx

[Hidden in reply to Bunnywoo]

Thanks for sharing your story with me, Bunnywoo. I agree we need to take time off to have a break from work.

Your company has a great ivf policy! It is good that you work four days a week and can have more time to yourself! When will you have your transfer? Best of luck with it! Xx

[AcuFertilityDoc]

Hi Dreambaby. Non-stop stress can affect your body’s ability to march through the steps that lead to a baby, but breaking that stress by doing the things you’re doing goes a long way to letting your body know it’s a good time to be pregnant. Research has shown that periodic stress reduction can make your body a more fertile place. So I would say you’re doing a great job!

[Hidden in reply to AcuFertilityDoc]

Hi AcuFertilityDoc, thanks for your professional advice and kind words! Much appreciated! X

[Sarah83ap]

My job is also stressful. I’m one of them people that thrive under pressure so I don’t think I’ve really thought of it as stress. But having had two cycles fail it’s made me really wonder if I’m carrying it internally....

My first round I had the whole TWW off work and felt like I was losing my mind! Spent forever on google. Second time I had the day after transfer and then some of the 2nd week off. Found work kept my mind off it as no time to think.

I really don’t know what to do with the 3rd time. I’ve booked a weekend away to give us something to enjoy but ideally I’d like a holiday for the whole TWW but just can’t justify the cost when we might need the money for another round.

It’s so hard knowing what to do to get it right! The stress and anxiety of IVF is probably worse than work life...? I dunno. Like you, I’m going to yoga at least once a week. Meditation and accupunture every other week. I’m also having some healing done... not had this before but I’ll give anything ago!

Xx

[Hidden in reply to Sarah83ap]

Thanks, Sarah. Sorry to hear your first two cycles didn't work. I agree it is good to take time off after our transfers. I tried healing during my last cycle but felt relaxed. This cycle I am not doing healing. Have you started your cycle? Best of luck with it! X

[Sarah83ap in reply to Hidden]

Due to start next Friday.

You are starting soon too aren’t you? If you havent already....

How you getting on? X

[Hidden in reply to Sarah83ap]

Hi, good luck with your next cycle! Yes, I have started mine and am waiting for a transfer next month. X

[bms12]

I too have always had a demanding life and work. Student nurse, healthcare assistant both in the community and in a hospital and work nearly every day of the week ( no longer in university but still working a job in the community and in the hospital nearly every day of the week) in currently expecting after my FET. If anything being bust has helped keep me distracted!

[Hidden in reply to bms12]

Hi bms12, thanks for sharing your positive story with me! Congratulations! Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy! X