Where is my bump?! 😔 Feeling lost

[FrancyItaly]

I really thought I was doing well for a while now. Overall I was feeling really positive, much better both physically and mentally. I thought I wasn’t that sad anymore. I was feeling that I won over that sadness, that I was in power again. Tonight I was in the mood to make a nice dinner, I even made bread. Until now, just like that, while I was peeling a potato and for no reason at all, I realised and thought ‘It’s February, I should have a 9 month bump right now, while I’m peeling this potato. Or I should at least be pregnant again.’ But I don’t have a bump and I’m not even pregnant. I feel so miserable, so lost, so useless. All the things I’ve done to feel good again, it was all pointless.

[Hidden]

Francy....my heart is breaking for you....I am so sorry you feel this way. It is absolutely normal to have these feelings in your circumstance, I wish I had wiser words to use to lift you up but I don't...it would be much easier to have a good cry together and hug you tight - and go back peeling potatoes together after!!!

You're not alone....sending lots of love xxx

[FrancyItaly in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your message. I know I can always get a little consolation from the wonderful ladies in this forum 💕

[ttcemmie]

Oh my love. I completely understand. I often think of my bump that I don't have. Just know that you may be sad, but I promise it won't be forever. These emotions are up and down. Really up and down. 🙁🙁 Also, 100% you are not useless. You are a woman of many talents and skills and are super important to the world.

Impressive on the bread making btw! Lots of love. xxx

[FrancyItaly in reply to ttcemmie]

Thank you for your lovely message Emmie 💕

[Boo718]

I was exactly the same. I felt like I was never going to get better. It was awful. Have u been to speak to someone I went to see a councillor and I swear it helped sooo Much. I literally just let out everything that was going on in my head xxx

[RhinoCat in reply to Boo718]

Yep 👍🏻 great advice. Sometimes it takes a bit of time to get your emotions out

[FrancyItaly in reply to Boo718]

Thank you for your message. I read the counseling service is not great in my area and I didn’t want to stress with that. Also, I was really feeling much better until last night. I guess it’s something that will happen from time to time 💕 sorry to hear you’ve been through the same.

[RhinoCat]

You’re not crying over nothing pet, you are crying over your broken heart that aches for the ‘not yet’ dream of having your own wee bump . That’s the thing about grief ..... it bites your bum when ya least expect it.💐💐💐💐

Have you heard about the button in a box to explain grief ? 📦 imagine a box with a button inside.

It’s basically , when something sad happens the grief fills the box and pushes the button of pain and tears regularly , then at times and even as time passes the size of the grief inside the box gets smaller but can still push that button from time to time .

Today , that potato moment ... was the grief pushing on your button as your mind thought over ‘what could have been!’ Sometimes we just need a potato to let the tears out .

Just feel it and let the pain out, it will ease . 😘😘😘💖💖💖💐💐💐💐

It’s ok to cry about something that you thought you’d finished crying over , but the thing is, that’s not realistic and we can all relate to those potato / button in a box days. 💐

You will be ok again .😘

Just take a wee bit if time to hug your heart again .💖

Love and hugs🙏🏻

Rhinocat x 💐

[FrancyItaly in reply to RhinoCat]

Thank you RhinoCat for taking the time to write this message. You ladies are always here to give some consolation when needed and I’m so grateful for that 💕

[RhinoCat in reply to FrancyItaly]

How are you today pet?

[FrancyItaly in reply to RhinoCat]

Hey, I’m better today, thank you for asking. My husband has been checking on me regularly today after an argument we had to completed the evening. I’m just feeling so impatient!

[RhinoCat in reply to FrancyItaly]

I’m impatient too plus convinced my emotions are still a bit off . Guess this is normal as it’s two weeks tomo from negative . It’s hard to just breathe isn’t it 😂🤣 I went for three fast walks yesterday and it really helped to calm my rage . It’s also hard to walk this road with a human who does not feel the same about ivf situations 😘 glad of this wall to get the other side of the emotional support 💐💐💐💐💐💐💖💖💖💖💖💖 bless the husbands, sometimes they need a wee shout to get them in the game in a bit better way .

[FrancyItaly in reply to RhinoCat]

I know, I even feel sorry for my husband sometimes. He tends to keep everything for himself, while I’m the very opposite and need to talk. I’m so grateful I can speak to you ladies in this forum, I’ve had more support here that from friends and family! 💜 I hope your next transfer will be the one!

[RhinoCat in reply to FrancyItaly]

I wish we could all meet for decaf coffee and chats when we have rough days. Who would have thought that an online wall could offer such a positive role in this journey ? So lucky to have it .

Thanks pet 😘💖💐

[aamiller405]

Aww im so sorry your struggling.. I know how you feel.. I had these exact same feelings only last week.. All of a sudden just started balling my eyes out because my baby should be here in 2 months time and like you I'm still sitting here with nothing.

I don't know how to make it better but I hope knowing you are not alone helps a little xox

[FrancyItaly in reply to aamiller405]

Thank your for your message. I’m sorry for your loss and that you are in the same position as me. I hope you’ll have your rainbow baby soon 💕

[MumofaSpaniel]

Aw 😘 sending you love and hugs!! I can’t imagine how you feel but I did something similar after my failed Transfer, I was looking at the calendar and thought I was due a 12 scan! So daft, never got that embryo back in but still ‘fantasising’ on what could have been. Just the type of person I am - a dreamer ☺️ XxxX

[FrancyItaly in reply to MumofaSpaniel]

Dates can be so mean, it seems like every time I look at a date it says ‘March 2020’. Maybe it will get better when the month will be over. Hope your next transfer will be the one 💕

[Elynn]

Big hugs.

[FrancyItaly in reply to Elynn]

Thank you ☺️