Has anyone had success after two failed IVF attempts? Perfect lining and perfect embryo I just can't understand it 😢

[Francezc]

Failed FET from failed IVF fresh cycle. How do you all cope with the constant heartache 😢 I just feel like locking myself away 💔

[recidwen]

Hey! I understand the desperation, it is so hard to maintain a level head when so much of your heart and body is invested in every round, but you must know that soooooo many people don't succeed the first or second time or even the third. I will have my 5th transfer soon and I still believe it can work for me at some point and I too always have a luscious looking lining and top grade embie. I cope with the heartache by really turning to it, locking myself away and eating all the pizza for a while, but then I get back to the game and invest further in my health/happiness. I hope you have support around you. xxxx

[Francezc in reply to recidwen]

Thank you so much for your kind words recidwen. I always thought of myself a strong person in general but this second failed has crushed me. I may seek counselling through the clinic. I have been for a run which has made me feel a bit better and pizza sounds like a good idea. I really wish you the best of luck got your 5th round lovely and hope you get the best result. I tested yesterday but convinced myself I had symptoms. I will be fine in a couple of days. Thank you so much ❤️

[Tiddly1984]

Hi Francezc, sorry that your recent transfer wasn’t a success. There are just so many factors involved in becoming pregnant and maintaining a successful pregnancy and not all are known or understood. My advice is to take the time you need to process your feelings, even if you can’t make sense of what’s happened, and then if you still want to pursue having a baby to have a plan so that you feel motivated and hopeful going forward. Each failed attempt is upsetting but talking about your feelings and recognising that many women go on to have successful transfers on the 3rd and 4th attempts can really increase your positive outlook for the future. Big hugs...x

[Francezc in reply to Tiddly1984]

Hi Tiddly, thank you so much for your lovely message. I find comfort in speaking to people in the same situation as I am in I don't feel so alone. I'm trying my best to stay strong and focus on the next one. I think I am going to try the endometrial scratch next . I tried accupuncture this time but unfortunately it didn't work for me. Thank you so much for your positive words . ❤️

[Tiddly1984]

You’re very welcome. It’s not an easy process and it’s super emotional at the best of times. As I’m sure you know there are many people on this board who have had a similar experience and who provide lovely support. There are also many people who have had similar experiences who have long since passed having had positive outcomes after failed attempts. I’m sure you’ll be one of them...x

[Hidden]

Oh Francezc ❤️It’s heartbreaking, I know. It’s called ‘the miracle of life’ for a reason: it’s a really hard process! Also, we live through it in the most difficult position and so we suffer even more. My advice to you is DON’T GIVE UP HUN ❤️Your time will come! I’m sure about it! In the meantime all we can do is be PATIENT, soooo PATIENT yes I know you’re running out....sending your way lots of hugs 💋💋💋💋💋💋

[Francezc in reply to Hidden]

Hi Issy. Thank you so much for your reply my heart hurts but I am trying to stay positive. I just have to keep going, but just feel so sad. Also congratulations with you lovely I'm so pleased for you ❤️

[Hidden in reply to Francezc]

I know you are sad hun ❤️I wish I could take you out for a pizza and clubbing tonight then squeeze you into a massive hug and see a smile on your face 😃take the time you need- you’re very much loved and although it’s really tough we IVF sisters are warriors really so we’ll get our babies 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💋💋💋💋💋💋lots and lots of love!

[Francezc in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Issy, everyone's advice and support has been such a comfort. I definitely like the idea of pizza and clubbing and a hug 😂😍 all the best to you lovely xx

[Hidden in reply to Francezc]

Thanks Hun xx here for you ❤️

[Libsie3103]

So sorry to hear this it is such a tough journey and heartbreaking. Sometimes it just doesn't make any sense at all. I have discovered that Professor Quensby's team in Coventry do an implantation failure clinic and can do tests to see if there is a reason your embryos aren't implanting. It may also be worth looking back at some of the other posts when you're feeling stronger and feel able to think about it as I've read lots of helpful things. For example I've now asked my clinic to test my progesterone to make sure my levels are high enough. But as others have said give yourself some time to work things through and do some of the things you enjoy for now. Take care xx

[Francezc in reply to Libsie3103]

Thank you Libsie, that's great and I will definitely question more things when I have my follow up. I have read about natural killer cells and was so worried I had that. I am going through the NHS at the moment and I think they are so limited to what they offer and investigate. I will definitely be having some me time now to get my head straight. Thank you so much for taking the time to message and I wish you all the best xx

[MumWannaBe]

Hi. So sorry for this n I feel you as I too had 2x implantation failures even tho the transferred embryos were of the best quality n good thickness of endo line before finally got pregnant with 3rd transfer but 2nd cycle.

We need ICSI rather at 1st we're told due to male factor n I have no fertility issue.

But after these 2 failures with no explanation as why except my age cos at that time I was already 42 but no attempt to investigate if there could be other factors, I followed the advice of the book by Zita West "guide to fertility n assisted conception " n became my own advocate to have big blood tests to check if I had blood clotting and/or autoimmune and/or thyroid disorders.

Finally it was found out I indeed have Hashimoto's disease n am positive for a type of anti nuclear antibody so I got thyroid hormone n aspirin for these before my FET till now actually for thyroid hormone forever n for aspirin my whole pregnancy unless am bleeding n voila I'm now pregnant for 12w5d!

The book also advised to check the health of our uterus but I didn't get to that.

My GP also prescribed me low dose of Medrol I took from 5 days before FET till 3 weeks after my 1st beta n I think it helped to lower my immune system not to attack the embryo that can be considered foreign tissue by our body as it's transferred from outside.

I also followed the advice of this book for the supplements, complement therapies etc. n another book "it starts with eggs" also for supplements n using bio household products to improve my eggs n hubby sperm quality n another book of Zita "IVF diet" for obvious reason.

I can't list all what we did cos it's really a lot n cost us a lot of money n time n energy so I'd recommend to buy these 3 books n just follow the advice there as much as you can.

They're not expensive n you can find them in Amazon.

Good luck n I hope you have your positive beta soon!

[Francezc in reply to MumWannaBe]

Wow Mumwannabe you really have given me hope. I will definitely look at the books and question my consultant with further investigation. Congratulations by the way I bet your over the moon. I have no fallopian tubes due to hydrosalpinx but other than that no problems so I just couldn't accept that it didn't work. Failed cycles are definitely much more tougher than I ever expected. I'm taking time off work and am going to concentrate on myself ready for the next round. Thank you so much x

[MumWannaBe in reply to Francezc]

No prob, I'm just paying forward cos I knew about these books from other members of IVF FB groups I'm a member of.

Another lady I know of has unexplained infertility but also diagnosed with blocked fallopian tube but she's now pregnant with her 2nd IVF baby!

So yes don't give up hope😊

[Lilly12255 in reply to MumWannaBe]

Hi, I read your post and I was also diagnosed with a tyroid problem as my FT4 are above normal. But regarding autoimmune checks, they only checked the antibodies TPO for me. I read in the « start with the eggs » book that there is another type of antibodies callef TG ab and that it is also good to check FT3. May I ask which test made you conclude about hashimoto? And whether you tested FT3 and antibodies ? My GP is reluctant to do more tests

[Suzy86]

I’m so sorry to hear about your failed attempt it is just so heartbreaking. After my second failed transfer (3rd attempt) I decided to take a couple of months to pick myself back up again and I really needed that time. (I did hide away from people a lot and to be honest it’s exactly what I needed!) Each transfer was a 5AA with no explanation whatsoever as to why they would have failed so I really understand the pain you are in. However my forth and latest attempt (third transfer) I got my BFP when I truly felt it could be game over for me. I don’t think there is any rhyme or reason to it sometimes. I did have a scratch this time round, not sure if that helped or not though as I had 2 top grade embryos transferred this time and only one stuck. I’m now 14 weeks along so it can happen and they say it takes on average 3 transfers for IVF to work. I really hope your time comes soon. Xxx

[Francezc in reply to Suzy86]

Thank you Suzy, you have definitely give me hope. I am going to ask for two embryos to be transferred next time if I get them and a scratch. I didn't realise three cycles was the average which gives me hope. My doctor is understanding and has signed me off and I may stay off until my next cycle as I found it tough attending appointments etc. Congratulations Suzy I'm so happy for you ❤️

[Suzy86 in reply to Francezc]

Stay off as long as you need! I actually went fully in and quit my job so I could put my all into my last attempt. The pull and stress from work and just being around people felt too much! I’m back working now but I would highly recommending staying off work if you can, it did wonders for my mental wellbeing. Xxx

[Francezc in reply to Suzy86]

Thanks Suzy, I work as a nurse an I just feel incapable of looking after other people at the moment so am going to stay off for a couple of weeks I think. Aw bless you it makes you feel like quiting everything else as all you want to stay focused on is the next round. Thank you Lovely xxx

[Lululemon67]

I would definitely recommend counselling, I felt so sad and anxious when my cycle didn't work, it was hard talking about it but looking back did me the world of good. Especially if you can do it whilst having some time off work. All the best X X

[Francezc in reply to Lululemon67]

Thanks Lulu its so comforting speaking to all of you. I think I will call the clinic to book counseling next week. Thank you so much xxx

[ttcemmie]

Sorry to hear this, lovely. This is a tough time and it is devastating. I don't know if any of us actually cope with the constant heartache. I think we're all probably pretty crazy by this point. You're super strong, though, so, when you're ready you'll march on and keep going. This is the end of a cycle, but not the end of the journey. xxxxx

[Francezc in reply to ttcemmie]

Thank you ttcemmie. I feel like it's isolating and feel so alone. I will be fine in a couple of days. Hope your ok too. And thank you so much xx

[loulucylou123]

Yes me 😊 I had two failed fresh cycles (never got any to freeze) and then my 3rd fresh cycle worked! And got one to freeze (my little boy is 21months) all we did differently was that I took Co enzyme q10, I drank pomegranate before and I ate pineapple after transfer and me and my husband stopped drinking too xx