End of first cycle BFN and so many questions.

[Cici85]

Pardon me it’s going to be a long post ladies.

Infertility due to Azoospermia, SSR done 9 vials stored and 1 was used for ICSI first cycle that failed.

First cycle mild was on low dose of Gonal f, retrieved 15eggs , 11 matured , 6 fertilised ok on day 3 and on day 5 only 1 3bb blast that did not stick. On day 6 the other 2 embryos weren’t good enough to freeze.

They clinic called me back to respond to my email of negative HPT, checked my file and said oh you are Nhs funded 3cycles and we have got 8 vials of sperm for your partner stored. We need you to have a 1 or 2 natural bleed after your withdrawal bleed, the doctor will review your notes and let you know what amendments is going to be done on the next cycle, we come in to sign consent forms and start.

I asked how about seeing the doctor like a review appointment? Her reply was if I want that it’s ok but the waiting time is way longer than 2months to have a review which I refused.

My question is this please?

Has anyone who used Barts and had a failed cycle, what was the next step like?

How can I go on another cycle without a one to one review? am I not to be tested on several things before continuing?

Also it was very difficult putting the embryos back and the doctor said it sometimes happen could that be one of the reasons it did not implant?

Does Nhs do PGS, Embryo glue(my clinic said they did), endometrial scratch for their patients even if I want to pay for it?

I guess not test can be done on the frozen sperm anymore?

I requested my progesterone to be checked but the nurse said they don’t do it .

Kindly help with advice. DianeArnold

I thought it was going to be easy for me accepting the failed cycle but no way, I find it hard talking to anyone or even doing anything for myself!!! All I do is shower and go back to bed for the past 5 days.

The clinic referred me for counselling yesterday.

[RhinoCat]

Not sure why they aren’t doing a review ? 🤷🏼‍♀️Maybe they can do review points in next appointment before you begin? I know in NI you can pay for NHS things so yours should be the same. Someone should be able to suggest something you would hope? Sounds very frustrating . The counselling will help you process the very difficult feelings you have right now. That at least is something positive. 🙏🏻

My clinic don’t test bloods for progesterone etc either..... I will ask these questions myself when I know my result.

Sometimes though , I think they just don’t know (this for me is very very hard to accept) .....but you nearly always hear a suggestion of something different to try 🤷🏼‍♀️ that is maybe coming down the road for you. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Right now you are doing the right thing resting 👌🏻, try to go outside for 15 mins, sometimes when I feel like this I get showered get dressed and go to the shop for one thing just to get myself into some sort of motion. I never want to but always feel proud of myself after . Can you go away for a night ? Or plan something to do? So you have a positive thing to look forward to that’s not ivf Related?

Well done for reaching out. 💐

Try to breathe ....

I’m sure someone else will come along soon who can offer maybe more advice than me.

Do you have the Calm app? It has things for anger, anxiety , stress etc . It’s helping me.

It is so hard.

You have been so brave.

Today it is not fair.

Maybe tomorrow things will feel different .

Hugs and wishes of comfort for your shattered heart 💔

Rhinocat x 💐

[RhinoCat in reply to RhinoCat]

Ps we have one partial round on nhs in NI ( maybe changing soon 🙏🏻). You have two more chances for free, maybe that’s why your clinic is seeming not fussed or phased? Maybe they’re thinking, ‘don’t worry, there’s time yet? We’ll get ya sorted?!?!’ . 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💖💖💖💖 just a thought

Hugs x

[Cici85 in reply to RhinoCat]

RhinoCat thats the annoying thing they kept saying it’s a good thing you have other free rounds. I asked what do I need to do and the nurse said keep taking folic acid.

I am on my way to be with my sister and her family for the weekend, my partner is not helping matters so I feel it’s best to go away.

Thanks for your advice.

[RhinoCat in reply to Cici85]

Good plan, get away and calm your head 💖💖💖💐💐💐💐

[Cici85 in reply to RhinoCat]

RhinoCat can I PM u please?

[RhinoCat in reply to Cici85]

Of course pet 😘💐

[ttcemmie]

Hi Cici. Really sorry to hear about your BFN and your difficult cycle. Treat it like a grief - you had plans and hopes for those embryos to be a baby, and it is devastating that it didn't work out. Allow yourself to grieve. Glad you've been referred for counselling. The IVF journey is so difficult and we need all the support we can get! Take it one day at a time and don't expect too much from yourself in this difficult time.

On the review appointments - if you want one, then feel entitled to push! However, I would say we had a review appointment after each of our two failed cycles and they basically told us it's a probability thing and they didn't know why implantation didn't take, and that we just need to keep trying (which is really hard to hear). They gave us the options to do genetic testing and all that, but in our circumstances, they felt it was best to just keep trying. However, everyone is unique and that might not be the best option for you. You will need to talk to the clinic, so a review appointment would be needed! Or you can talk to them before starting your next cycle.

Can you change clinics if yours doesn't test things that you want done?

We are all here for you and RhinoCat is a great source of positivity. I agree that having something to look forward to and doing something for you is important. Lots of love. xxx

[Cici85 in reply to ttcemmie]

I don’t mind getting any test done, I will definitely push for any test possible.

What I don’t know is if any test can be done to the sperm at this stage?

Barts reproductive medicine is such a difficult clinic to get hold of!!! I will write or walk in to see a nurse to request a review appointment if I am lucky to get any.

So so confused 😐.

Thanks for replying.

[ttcemmie in reply to Cici85]

Oh, I don't know anything about sperm testing when it's frozen. Sorry! Maybe post as a separate question - just that - and hopefully someone will respond. Super frustrating that your clinic is difficult to get hold of. The one I go to is a bit like that - and the receptionist is awful. You could request a nurse call you back. That's what I do at ours as I find the receptionist just says no to everything and is v unhelpful. Then I ask the nurse any questions.