Upset about the wait until the next round of IVF

[ttcemmie]

Just really down today. Was really hoping we would be starting our next round this week and the clinic has now confirmed they're too busy with all egg collections booked up in February, so we can't start our round yet. It's made me really upset; I don't want to wait yet another month or longer. I don't feel like we are making any progress.

[FrancyItaly]

Aw I’m so sorry to hear that. I send you a big hug. It’s a constant wait isn’t it?

[ttcemmie in reply to FrancyItaly]

Yup, every stage. And I'm someone that likes to get on with things immediately at the best of the times. With fertility treatments, any waiting is excruciating.

[LizzieBW]

Hi ttcemmie,

So sorry you're feeling the frustration and upset of waiting. I can't relate to waiting for the +2nd round of ivf (which I'm sure comes with loads more emotion) but we were told we're at the top of the waiting list for ivf & we're waiting on a space becoming available at our clinic for our nurses appt for our protocol. We've been ttc 4 years this month so you'd think I'd be used to waiting 🤣 but nope, this feels like the most frustrating wait & it's emotionally draining. Just wanted to say I'm feeling similarly & hope you're okay 💐 xx

[ttcemmie in reply to LizzieBW]

Yeah, the waiting doesn't get any easier. Every month not pregnant is awful. It's been three years for us, and it's still hard. Emotionally I think I'm just having a really bad day. Didn't go in to work; really been struggling to hold everything together whilst going through all this.

[KiboXX]

Oh ttcemmie, sorry to hear that. Really hope you get to start soon x

[ttcemmie in reply to KiboXX]

Thanks KiboXX

[Faith103]

Have you already made payment. Can you not go to another clinic xxxx

[ttcemmie in reply to Faith103]

Ahhh Faith, I've signed up to Access Fertility (2 year unlimited) with them last November. And they just keep putting roadblocks in place, so now I've paid for a service I'm not even getting yet! Access Fertility have said we can change clinics if we haven't started yet, but they have new prices for 2020, and they've gone up £4k. Plus, I have specially chosen this clinic. This was my preferred clinic, and I got pregnant with them early last year, so I have a positive view of them based on history. Okay, just got to put my patient hat on and be patient! This journey is just playing with my mental state!

[AuroraXen]

Sorry to hear this ttcemmie. I know people sometimes feel they need a break before another round but I'm like you... I tend to want to get on with, to feel I'm doing something practical about trying to improve next time. It's sad that the whole industry is really a conveyor belt x

[ttcemmie in reply to AuroraXen]

Thanks for your understanding. It is definitely helping to have people letting me know they feel the same and that they're here for me. The longer I spend at fertility clinics, the more I understand it's a business and they don't actually care about you. (Even though there are some brilliant nurses etc.)

[AuroraXen in reply to ttcemmie]

Agree ttcemmie. I've also met somereally nice people (especially nurses!) but I was painfully aware, when my first cycle failed, that I was basically on my own. I guess there isn't much time for commiserations, the staff have to focus on the next patient. And that's natural I guess, they're businesses at the end of the day. But when that failure or hiccup or delay means SO much to us, i.e the people putting their hopes and dreams into it... well it can be pretty hard to hear 😢. You're not alone x

[recidwen]

Yes! With you in the frustration. It will be a whole five months between last transfer and my next in April. Going absolutely crazy at this point. I have done nothing (well, four transfers) but waiting around for the last three years. Xxx

[ttcemmie in reply to recidwen]

Thank you for knowing what I'm going through. It'll be five/six months for me between transfers as well! I have done three transfer so far, but the last three years of TTC has felt like constant waiting. Thanks. xx

[recidwen in reply to ttcemmie]

It issssss so frustrating isn't it. Sometimes I feel like scratching my bloody eyes out. After my last failed transfer, I promised myself that I would put energy back in to other parts of my life but it is so hard to care about my career or anything else when I just want TO BE PREGNANT. Do you ever feel like this? xxx

[ttcemmie in reply to recidwen]

V frustrating. I also thought I should put energy back in to other parts of my life, but this TTC/IVF takes up so much energy that I just can't. My career used to be super important to me and I have done well in it, but that's all now going to come shattering down when I have no interest in it and I am off ill a lot or choosing to work from home. Really surprised I'm still working full time to be honest! Yeah, I just want to be pregnant, like you. It's amazing it's so hard.

[Lavender96]

Oh ttcemmie I’m so sorry your next round has been delayed! It’s so frustrating and I can sympathise with you. Any delays are always horrible, especially when you’re all geared up and ready to start. I really hope you get to start soon xx

[ttcemmie in reply to Lavender96]

Thanks Lavender.

[Nix321]

I’m sorry to hear this, I know how you feel just waiting and putting everything on hold and things being delayed over and over again. I keep saying to myself - I hope it will be worth the wait! I have tried to do other things such as focus on getting my body as healthy as possible or dropping a few pounds in preparation and things like that.

Try to remain positive (I know it’s hard)!

Good luck.

[ttcemmie in reply to Nix321]

Hi Nic. Yeah, just have to remind myself this is just the way it is and it will be worth the wait. I've been trying to put on a bit of weight (I'm naturally just under the BMI scale) and trying to remain positive.

[RhinoCat]

Awh bummer! So annoying when you have it in your head ! This happened to us too. You’ll be alright in a couple of days when they give you your next planned date, then you can get back to eating healthy , working on your levels of calm etc. You wouldn’t want a rush rush half focused team so better to wait until they have proper time and the focus that you deserve . It’s not what you wanted but it’s better than a failed cycle right? Get the rage out of ya and then pick yourself up and refocus the mind 😘💪🏻 You can do it 💪🏻

[ttcemmie in reply to RhinoCat]

That's helpful to know that I'll be alright in a couple of days. You're right I definitely wouldn't want a rushed team - I would be super worried about failure then! I just wished they'd had a bit more of a sense of urgency a couple of months or even a couple of weeks ago! You're right - I need to have these difficult days for what they are, and then pick myself up again. It's not helping that tomorrow's my due date from the miscarriage.

[RhinoCat in reply to ttcemmie]

Awh pet . Probably better to have some space to process and reflect on that then even though you maybe thought you didn’t need to. Plan something nice in your day and maybe it won’t hurt as bad as you imagined it in your head. Try to look forward, because that’s the direction you are going. Hugs to your heart, I’m sure it’s sore today. It’s good to be honest about your feelings but don’t let the past rob and ruin the next good thing 😘 keep trying your best ,

💐

[ttcemmie in reply to RhinoCat]

Beautiful message; thanks RhinoCat.

Yeah, my husband and I are at home tomorrow and we're going to go for a walk and have planned a nice dinner. I thought it would just be the one day that I would struggle, but you're right - I clearly need longer than that to process it. After tomorrow, will pick myself up and continue looking forward.

[Corchi]

I totally understand you! When I have to do something I have to do it like now so much more so with something like this! I was so desperate to start immediately once I had made my mind up that I started injections in the middle of Christmas holidays! I was lucky that I could have contact with my doctors secretary throughout and so I feel your major frustration and pain. I hope you feel better soon though it’s hard when time is of essence. Sending hugs xx

[Cinderella5]

Sorry to hear that you have been delayed! Its hard when you're all set to go and its all you can think about. I hope they have you down for starting next month, and given you some reasurance regarding this!xx

[Hidden]

Sorry to hear this! The waiting is difficult. Keep trying naturally in the meantime. X