I have endometriosis but I’m struggling with my emotions lately when it comes to fertility I’ve not got an official diagnosis yet but decided not to ttc yet and put it on hold since a misscarrige and recognising that ectopic is common with this disease I really wanted to try and get my Endometriosis treated first.
But the thing I always think about is that I should just let my partner go and find someone with no issues my endometriosis is constant and effects me every day I’m lucky I do already have children with an ex but sometimes I feel like he’s better off without me he can be happy with someone else sometimes I want to end it but he won’t let me end it and he will reassure me he loves me.
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Afrohair
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Sorry to hear you're struggling. I know this is a rough journey, a REALLY rough journey, but you are more than your endometriosis/fertility struggles, and your partner loves you for you. It won't always be like this. xxx I also worry that I have turned in to this un-fun, depressed, TTC-obsessed person, and my husband deserves more, but I know deep-down he loves me and wants to be with me.
I wrote a similar post about 9 months ago on here, we have had 3 x IVF rounds (1 successful), 3 MC (2 natural), 1 failed Surgical Management, 2 other surgical managements, 3 hysteroscopies and a couple of other surgeries, all in the past 4 years TTC, with no children between us. Almost monthly I feel like he would be better off with someone else who could pop out a baby tomorrow, who isnt so irritable and up and down emotionally, who doesnt spend £100s on pregnancy tests every month 'just in case' etc etc.
But then one day I asked him if he would be better off without me. He told me he would rather be with me with no children than with someone else with children, that I was his soul mate, and I was stuck with him!
I still have the guilt, but it made me realise I do offer him a lot of things that maybe don't compensate for lack of children and endless hospital appointments ... but there is more to a relationship than just that part of our lives.
Give him a hug, tell him you love him and realise you are both lucky to have found each other xx
I always said I wouldn’t do the ovulation and testing then when I had the misscarrige found myself obsessing over it I pleaded with my own self don’t do this to yourself cause know a lot of ladies do and still have a draw full of them all the time it’s let me just get a quick ovulation tests from Poundland Then you end up getting more cause you know your gunna need it again then you start reading about your temperature everything it really can get you in a black hole in sorry you’ve had such a struggle and spent so much I took it for granted until now and I feel ashamed of myself for that.
I think I have more hurt for him because I do have children already with an ex and he brings them up but it’s not his flesh and blood as he says he’s worried my ex will come into the picture he’s not around though and never has
I can only give my advice as the person who has had to look on as my OH came to terms with his infertility.
We have complete male infertility, he has a rare chromosome issue and so doesn’t produce sperm.
We were both heartbroken when we found out, there didn’t seem a way forward and he was suggesting I find someone else...but I never thought that way. When you love someone, you accept that sometimes life doesn’t go to plan but as long as we have each other then we’ll be fine.
I’m sure that your OH feels the same and wants to support you through all this. It may not all go smoothly, lots of things will go wrong along the way but don’t give up on him.
Thankyou for putting it into a different perspective.did you then go down the sperm donor route ?you must have really struggled with that.but I’m sure it takes a lot of time ,heartache and healing thankyou again for your kind words x
Yes, but it took us over a year to make sure that was the right decision for both of us. We have been lucky and are now 24 weeks pregnant. It’s a long road but hopefully one with a happy ending. Wishing you lots of luck on your journey too xx
Tough post to read. Can completely relate. With overwhelming emotions we can questions would our partners leave us, should we”let them go” etc. But try your best to be in the moment and be as positive and hopeful as you can xx
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