10dpt3dt testing too early

[Linzmm78]

I had cancer at 31 and had eggs removed and frozen I’ve finally met someone I’m happy with and 4 years together nothing happened naturally. After a year and a half of back and forth with the clinic I was already 39 they decided to defrost my eggs and create embryos and transfer. Im 40 going on 41 when they defrosted my 10 egg batch 3 died in thaw then lost another 2 in ICIS. 1 developed well on day 3 which they wanted to transfer ASAP and wait to see how the others develop. Day 6 I get the call at 4pm from the embryologist to say the rest did not make grade to freeze. I was devastated the only embryo in me was it. I’d been cramping and sore boobs since transfer I’m on Progynova 2mg x 3 and cyclogest 400mg pessaries x2, because of the late call the clinic shut at 4pm and I had no one to ask questions it was also my birthday and felt terrible. Day 8pt I had the worst cramps and twinges and a light brown discharge when putting in the pessaries. Of course I was sure this was over and my AF was coming I could not stop crying. Next day no cramps nothing just the odd mild cramp. I don’t know what to think I did a stupid thing this morning with the high HGC sensitivity stick I got on amazon and it came up negative I’m 10pt I know I’m still possibly too early but I’m just wanting a sign of hope. Amongst all this also I had another cancer reoccurrence scare which has added to stress

I’m exhausted feel fed up of being sad and no one to talk to that understands. All I seem to do is cry my poor partner feels helpless.

[HollyT7]

You are being so brave and so strong and have overcome so much already. Just remember that it only takes one and your not out of the game yet. You can do this!! Lots of warm positive vibes xxxx

[Linzmm78 in reply to HollyT7]

Thank you I just feel so lost it’s horrible when it’s your only chance due to having breast cancer they are unwilling to do cycles! I keep feeling my partner can leave me and have kids with someone else all these hard thoughts go through your head. The clinic is not very supportive or helpful either this is all so hard x

[HollyT7 in reply to Linzmm78]

But your partner is right by your side and he has chosen you. The signs you have of spotting seem positive and people test and get bfns (myself included) and a few days later it all changes. I tested positive later on my second shot so was convinced I was out at first. I know it's easier said than done, but when a negative thought creeps in, bash it with a NO this can work thought. Nothing good ever came from worry, you aren't gaining anything.

Imagine your little bean getting nice and comfy and how all these positive thoughts are helping know how much it is loved already. You don't need to deal with the upset of a bfn right now as it's not test day. And if it is negative on test day, then you can be sad but then you can look to see what other ways you are going to look to start a family of that is what your wanting to do. Then you move onto your next journey.

Look at what you've overcome in your life to get to this point, you can do this xxxxxx

[Linzmm78 in reply to HollyT7]

Thank you I just feel so lost it’s horrible when it’s your only chance due to having breast cancer they are unwilling to do cycles! I keep feeling my partner can leave me and have kids with someone else all these hard thoughts go through your head. The clinic is not very supportive or helpful either this is all so hard x

[HollyT7 in reply to Linzmm78]

Have you spoken with your partner about all your thoughts of him leaving you? Maybe this would help xxx I'm sure they would chuck those thoughts far far away ❤️

I'm a planner so it helped me know what other options were out there and have a little chat about which direction we may go if this didn't work. Have you had a natter with your other half about that? Maybe that would help too? Either way, all this sadness is so harsh. I know how hard all of this is, all you can do is try to take every day one step at a time. Try to wake up and remind yourself that you have an amazing frostie in you right now!!!! Xxxx

[Linzmm78 in reply to HollyT7]

I have I am very honest of how I feel I had the same fears if my cancer returns and his reply is always the same....for as long as I’m at his side he will be at mine he can not and will not imagine life without me....and that made me cry even more that he said such things ❤️

Adoption is so difficult I’ve always said I want to adopt even if I do have my own but they make everything so tough.

IVF is such a mental game and so is the fear of cancer coming back both together have not been easy!!

I spoke with the hospital today as I felt something skin tag like in the centre of my cervix while putting in my pessaries and that’s stressing me out too, they reassured me they are not concerned and scolded me for testing early and tomorrow I’m booked in with for counselling. I’m not a crier but these last 4 weeks is all I’ve done 🤦🏼‍♀️

[HollyT7 in reply to Linzmm78]

I have a skin tag thing type too. I hope the counselling helps. It's nice to get it out! Xxxxx

[Linzmm78 in reply to HollyT7]

They don’t seem concerned they said it could be the coating from the pessaries stuck in the hole but I don’t think it is, or that there’s lots of glands and hormone changes it could be something to do with that. But the consultant isn’t concerned but she will look at it depending on my test results on Tuesday. I also have to go to cancer clinic on Tuesday nothing is easy.

Thank you so much for you chats today it’s encouraging after all the other forums I looked at I really appreciate the kindness and your time.

[HollyT7 in reply to Linzmm78]

No problem at all ❤️ everything is going to be just fine you know. You are bound to worry with all that's happened but one day there will be a turning point and it may just be on its way! Lots of positive vibes to you xxxx

[Linzmm78 in reply to HollyT7]

Did they ever give you an explanation of the skin tag thing on the cervix?

[Hidden]

Hi, you are a fighter and have done really well!!!! Stay positive and rest lots. Don't worry about the test result as you said it was too early to test anyway. I am also in my TWW and have been getting mild cramps every now and then. It only takes one good embryo to be pregnant. Lots of luck to you. X

[Linzmm78 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your kind word, it’s so hard they don’t warn you on the mental game in all of this!

It’s hard to fight when everything is out your control. I guess with cancer I always prepared myself for the worst news due to the nature of my cancer and I put that in practice for everything now to my detriment of my mental health this time! I’m so desperate for a part of me to be here long after I’m gone is overwhelmed me that I might not have a choice.

I’m seeing the fertility clinic for counselling tomorrow to talk through things. ❤️

[Hidden in reply to Linzmm78]

Ivf is certainly an emotional rollercoaster. I agree mental strength is so important. Take a day at a time. Hope the counselling helps. Stay positive and we would get through this! Lots of good vibes to you. X