A little bit of Hope and advice....

[Summerdays1]

I just wanted to give people a little hope and a reality check. After literally bombarding myself with ivf books, forums , diets , nutrition , researching acupuncture and god knows what else I had driven myself to a break down. What was all this for, I couldn't do it all ! Would it really make a difference to the outcome , and most importantly I couldn't afford multiple complementary therapies and all organic foods etc.

So I went into my first cycle eating my normal diet , I still had my one coffee a day, I didn't go organic , I didn't eat all the advised super foods , I didn't do acupuncture or visualisation or anything. I went to my gym and worked out a few times a week , ate a balanced diet and got good sleep.

I think there is so much pressure on this vulnerable community to pay for extra treatments and significantly change your lifestyle which on top of the stress of IVF can be overwhelming.

Anyway I ended up with a positive test and am now 6 weeks pregnant.

I'm writing this as I wish someone had told me this before going into this process . Worrying about what I was doing to improve my chances was making me more stressed than I realised .

[Franco81]

I totally agree, for years I tortured myself worrying whether what I was eating/drinking was the reason I was failing to conceive, not to mention the ridiculous amount of money spent on acupuncture for a while.

I relaxed it more on my third IVF cycle, even having the odd glass of wine (heaven forbid!) and finally got my first ever BFP.

There’s no harm in doing what you feel is giving you the best chance but some of the advice and books available do take advantage of our vulnerability and desperation to conceive.

Congratulations on your BFP and wishing you a healthy pregnancy x

[Baypony]

Thanks for your sensible post. I really agree. I spent 6 years doing similar and can honestly say nothing worked for me or my partner. In the last year I went back to normal and earlier this year went abroad for treatment. In the week we were there I ate too much. Drank too much and generally had a holiday. We returned with a little embie stow away on board. We are now pregnant!

If I could give any advice to anyone starting out it would be everything in moderation, don’t deny yourself anything, and continue as normal as much as possible.

Take advice from your clinic and stay away from google 🤣

Congratulations on your pregnancy 👍

[Tugsgirl]

I love this! I was never what you’d call, obsessive with any of my transfers but I tried to do it right; eat right, eat the pineapple core, take the hundreds of vitamins, reflexology, mindfulness etc etc and I was miserable for it but on my last transfer I threw the rule book out of the window and now my rainbow baby is 19 days old! I don’t think obsessing does anything except make you unhappy. Everything in moderation!

Congrats on your bfp xx

[Noodleone]

I am so happy to hear this as am new to IVF and every forum seems to be full of people saying I need to do this and that. In turn they are being told the same and I just feel it perpetuates feelings of guilt in women going through this - like it is something you can control and if you don’t get it right you are obviously doing it wrong.

Looking at the science there are so many variables to fertility that accepting that I can’t control most of it is really helpful. What I can control is how much I beat myself up over it, when enough is enough for me and what my partner and I are prepared to put ourselves through to achieve something when the odds are very much against us. I think being as relaxed as I can will have far more impact that eating a million pineapples or supplements! Wishing everyone the best of luck with this bizarre, difficult, strange journey x

[Gem2410]

Hi. This is just what I needed to read. We’re due to start IVF in October/November, and I can honestly say I couldn’t agree more. Recently I’ve been obsessive about changing everything. I haven’t been drinking caffeine, alcohol, had a total change of diet. Have read a million and one fertility books and forums. Have had acupuncture. I’m taking a lot of supplements, and too be honest stressing myself out, when I should be at least trying to relax.

Ive felt like I’ve wanted to get every little thing right. But honestly I can’t do every little thing, and as you said can’t afford all these things.

Thank you for posting. As it’s put everything into perspective. I don’t want to make myself miserable, and stressed, and feel guilty constantly.

I’m so happy you got your positive, and I will definitely be taking all of this on board.

I hope you have a healthy pregnancy ❤️ xx

[Sb29]

Thank you for sharing this! And congratulations!! It's so easy to get roped into all the extra treatments when you're ttc. I think taking it easy and not stressing about every little thing is the way to go! (easier said that done, i know!). Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy <3 xx

[WaywardGirl]

I agree, and have tried really hard not to obsess...

I do think that there are certain things which it is important to get right, but these are general things that should lead to a healthy, happy life anyway (eating well, not smoking and staying active). If you are happy and healthy it makes sense you’ll be more likely to conceive...

[Stsr1234]

Thanks for this post. Its so true we are so concerned about getting it so right we forget to enjoy life and live it. I have done reflexology, been on fertility diets, cut out cleaning products etc. Now the person who i used to go for reflexology is saying to do acupuncture and counselling. After two MC this year. I have gone back to living normally and enjoying life. Going on holidays and eating proper food and having coffee. I feel so much relaxed and not tensed or stress about it. I know my time will come and i have all the faith. Xx

[CLou21]

Ive gone for this attitude, hopefully it will pay off ❤️

Best of luck to you xx

[Core]

Thank you so much for this post, I constantly over analyse and try and eat and do the right stuff and it doesn’t seem to work but find it different to not obsess! Means a lot to read this xx

[Core in reply to Core]

And congratulations on your BFP!xx

[Hidden]

I’ve done over 2 years of supplements or at least folic acid done eating extra greens drink pomegranate juice etc etc I’m using up the last of what supplements I’ve got then I’m done I’ve had enough. I’ve shifted my focus from conceiving to losing weight and exercise I’m not losing weight for fertility either just doing it for me, my partner is losing weight too we feel good for a change. I drink coffee and alcohol if I want, if we conceive again then great but if not I think I’m ok with that now.

[Scarlett13]

This is what I did too when I got my BFP. Just ate normally, worked out a bit. The one time I didn’t bother with Pineapple, Brazil nuts and pomegranate juice is when it worked! X

[Hidden]

I agree!! I did less for this last FET and now I'm 12weeks!! Doesn't make sense but there it is!!