The roller coaster continues - Fertility Network UK

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The roller coaster continues

46 Replies

Life is so annoying isn’t it!?

So after MC and a traumatic couple of months earlier this year I managed to get back into IVF mindset and we started round 3 10 days ago, I’ve been really negative about this round as couldn’t believe we could be lucky with a BFP again so quickly.. and after a super fast reaction to stims despite nothing changing we had a really early EC yesterday - but got 10 eggs which was way more than we had hoped, all of a sudden I was feeling really positive and upbeat again! Despite a few EC challenges and internal stitches, this was going to be a great round!

Day one call this morning - only 3 have fertilised and one is looking dodgy so probably only 2 to try and take through to Monday and a day 3 transfer.

I feel devastated.. that we only have a couple, that we haven’t made it to blasto, that we never get enough to freeze, that I’ve failed again, that it’s going to be more disappointment. Just as I approach my due date too which is an extra punch to the stomach

I know there is still a chance but it doesn’t feel very real, and life just feels super unfair sometimes.

Zero point to this post it’s just my outlet for self pity! Why can’t I just get pregnant by accident like so many people do!? x

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46 Replies
HollieW profile image
HollieW

You haven't failed at all. The baby I'm carrying now was frozen on day 3 so don't give up hope. I have everything crossed for you. IVF is the absolute pits and it's okay to hate it and the process. Sending lots of luck xxx

in reply toHollieW

Thanks very much. Not long now for you! X

Kitcat12 profile image
Kitcat12

😞 oh bless you lovely. All I can say is try to stay positive, there are stories out there of success with day 3 transfers, particularly if both your embryos look good on the day. One of those could be your rainbow. Hoping for positive news from your embryologist over the next few days x

in reply toKitcat12

Thanks so much, I was so thrilled to see you got your BFP - hope you are feeling ok xx

Kitcat12 profile image
Kitcat12 in reply to

Thank you lovely ❤️ So far so good x

Kyell2 profile image
Kyell2

Aw Daisy, I’m so sorry.

This is almost identical to me, 10 eggs and only 2 made it through the night because they didn’t fertilise.

It’s soul destroying after all the drugs!

Hopefully by Monday they’ll have had a wee growth spurt🤞.

Sending positive thoughts and hugs xx

in reply toKyell2

Thanks so much! It’s such a pain isn’t it. We did so much better last round I thought it was supposed to get better each time! Was thrilled to read you got your blasto 😃 masses of luck for your FET xx

MissSaoPaulo profile image
MissSaoPaulo

I've followed your story and I can totally understand why you can't let yourself hope too much, but I'm optimistic for you on your behalf, ok? I've seen huge turnarounds in your story before so I'm rooting for these two little fighters. Thinking of you over this endless weekend xxx

in reply toMissSaoPaulo

Thanks lovely. You’ve been a real support since I started on this site and through the ups and lots of downs!! Not long now you or have you pooped yet? You must be due any time? masses of luck xx

MissSaoPaulo profile image
MissSaoPaulo in reply to

Any day now. Chin up lovely xxx

Daisy!! What a roller coaster you are going through, sorry your feeling so low after an up. internal stitches eek bless you ! keeping everything crossed over the weekend for you and those embryos...what have you got planned to distract yourself ? Xx

in reply to

Thanks so much for the crossed fingers! Hope your injections are going ok - when is your first scan? x

Oh I’m sorry you feel like that. Keep in mind it’s not a fail - it only takes one after all. Also it’s not a fail even if none work out - each bit of this journey we learn a bit more, can try something different next time etc. Hard to see that in the thick of it I know. And yes, I don’t know why we can’t just get pregnant by accident/ quickly like others - it’s utterly infuriating. But I’m sure you’ll get there and when you do you will appreciate it more than anyone who didn’t have your struggle ever could! Xx

in reply to

Thanks so much for the reply and many congrats on your little shrimp x

Yes life is very unfair isn't it at times and it sucks!

in reply to

Don’t know where you are in your journey but hope you get good news soon xx

in reply to

Our ginger tabby baby won't be happy when a new arrival comes along as she is spoilt!

Strawberrychaos profile image
Strawberrychaos

Don’t know if this will help but I thought I’d comment with a success story from small odds. I was originally having iui but reacted too well to the meds and produced way too many follicles so they converted me to ivf. Then pumped me full of extra drugs to try to get lots of mature eggs. Unfortunately we only got two mature eggs at egg collection. Both fertilised which was amazing and I had a 3 day fresh transfer. They left the other to go to day 5 ready to freeze but unfortunately it didn’t progress well and was destroyed. So I was very negative through my 2ww, totally thought it had failed and we would be back at square one with nothing. Luckily in my case I was totally wrong and it had worked and our little miracle is now approaching his 1st Birthday 🎂. Fertility treatment is the most painful and heartbreaking process to go through hun so we totally understand why you feel the way you do. Just wanted to share my experience to show sometimes only one is enough. I hope you have a smooth transfer on Monday without any issues. Good luck on the 2ww I will have everything crossed for you xx

in reply toStrawberrychaos

Thanks so much for the good news story and many congrats on your little one and his 1st birthday I bet it will be quite a celebration!! xx

Hollibob profile image
Hollibob

You haven’t failed, you are a fighter.

It’s so tough with the number and it always feel like an unknown gamble!

We never had good fertilisation numbers...I dreaded the calls, even with DE. We ended up with one to transfer, nothing else to freeze.

Everything crossed for your day 3’ers and the transfer of 2 (?😊) x

in reply toHollibob

They say they might stick all three in if they survive which I always think speaks volumes! Ie not looking great! My clinic will as I am 42. So glad your bump is progressing and hope you feel well in yourself x

pinksnow profile image
pinksnow

I only got 10 eggs from my EC and only two made it to blasto so very similar situation - I’m now 17 weeks pregnant with the last one (first one ended in CP) which was a frostie so there is hope, as I’ve read a 1000 times, it only takes one! Good luck!

in reply topinksnow

Congrats - I do think you have a munch better chance from blasto rather than day 3 and hoped we would make it again as we did last time and got our bfp. Many congrats for your pregnancy hope you are feeling well and bump is blossoming x

Kama41 profile image
Kama41

Please don’t feel like a failure. This is my second IVF round this year I’m now 41- first round was a long protocol I didn’t respond well even though we got 6 eggs but only 1 egg fertilised and was low grade that we transferred but resulted in BFN. We changed to a short protocol and responded much better we got 6 eggs again only 2 fertilised but were high grade. We transferred 2 back on day 3 as they didn’t think it would go to 5 days and I got my BFP on 23rd June. I’m currently waiting for my 7 week scan next week - this has been the hardest 4 weeks ever as I still don’t think it is real. Please keep positive you are not a failure it really is a rollercoaster but you only need that one good egg. X

in reply toKama41

Masses of luck for your scan and congrats for your bfp! So thrilled your second round has worked for you and thank you for good news story xx

Kimbo80 profile image
Kimbo80

Hi daisy

I’m in West Sussex and am 38 1/2 years old.

I had only 6 eggs retrieved and was told the following morning that 3 had made embryos.

2 were good and one was not so good, but they would call me 2 days later to update.

The 2 good ones were 8 cell and I had them transferred on day 3, the 1 remaining not so good one didn’t make it to day 5.

So I’m now 10 days past transfer and have everything riding on these two in my tummy.

I think I rather naively thought, that however many they took out I would always have some there to freeze for next time.

I didn’t so it all rides on this

But like any pregnancy, no matter how you do it (natural,ivf,iui,icsi) it just takes one egg to take and unfortunately there’s nothing we can do to make that bit happen.

I cheekily tested today (day 10) and there is another line there, but I’m not going to kid myself, it won’t show any “real” results for another 3 days, and even then, with IVF the worrying never stops and nothing is certain......

I wish you all the good luck for a positive result xx

in reply toKimbo80

Thank you for sharing your story and a cautious congrats for your second line. I have literally everything crossed for your OTD and beyond xx

Shirazlover2013 profile image
Shirazlover2013

Hi daisy1245, you’re still in with a chance on this cycle so plough on, we’ve all got everything crossed that this cycle is your rainbow baby 🤞maybe this one will surprise you 😏

So many of us as you can see have had low numbers and disappointing results along the way. I’ve had 2 cycles, 1st one we had 3 eggs, only 1 made it to early blast on day 5, BFN, 2nd cycle 11 eggs, only 2 fertilised, 1 made it to say 5 blast, BFN again. It’s very disheartening reading other stories that talk about bountiful egg collections and embryos to freeze. We can’t compare ourselves as it just doesn’t work like that, apples vs oranges. Try to focus on yourself and get a glimmer of hope back for this round. I’m hoping to start cycle 3 soon, fingers crossed no other issues come out to surprise us and delay treatment again!! Like you all I can do is hope. Good luck xx

in reply toShirazlover2013

Thanks for sharing your story. I have so much hope for you that your third round is the one for you - masses of luck xx

Shirazlover2013 profile image
Shirazlover2013 in reply to

Thank you we need all the luck we can get right 😅

magda22 profile image
magda22

Hi Daisy, day 3 transfers aren't bad news, some people think they are preferable and can bring better results. I always had rubbish results at EC and from four rounds only got one embryo that made it to transfer. Its all so tough and heartbreaking, but right now you are still in with a good chance,and that is what this treatment is all about. Do your best to distract and relax during 2ww, lots of love xx

in reply tomagda22

Thanks so much Magda - I think I obsess with day 5 as that’s how we got our fated BFP last time. Sounds like you’ve had a rough journey too, really hope you are in a good place xx

Sjr1988 profile image
Sjr1988

Just to give you a little hope..... here was my ivf journey..... my first round we had 9eggs only 2 made to day 3 so I had both put back, mc 6wks..... round 2 I ended up with ohss and only one blasto to freeze, when was able to transfer it failed due to me being in a car accident 10mins after transfer..... round 3 I had 10 eggs 7 fertilised 1 made to day 5 we were told on the day there were 3 might be ready to freeze day 6. Nope! So 1 got transferred on day 5 and I now have a gorgeous little boy! Dont ever lose hope my lovely I know it's hard but it will be worth it in the end xxx

in reply toSjr1988

Many many congrats - sounds like you had a torrid time and I’m so pleased to hear it ended happily for you x

crisps88 profile image
crisps88

So sorry to hear IVF is so cruel and such a number games. You’re doing so so well, it’s heart breaking to feel like you’re failing it’s the worst feeling in the world but please be reassured you’re not a failure just by you having the strength to go through the hardship if everything we have to endure in iVF. Keep us updated lovely xxx

in reply tocrisps88

Thanks so much - masses of luck for your EC tomorrow 🤞🏻🤞🏻xx

Core profile image
Core

This is such a hard journey but as so many say it only takes one so really hope one of these is your little one xx

in reply toCore

Thanks lovely - masses of luck to you too, I’ve been following your journey and will continue to xx

crisps88 profile image
crisps88 in reply to

Thank you! Xx

Emma04 profile image
Emma04

Oh Daisy I know how you feel, it’s so disappointing after collecting a good number. The same happened to me but my remaining two held their own and I got to a Day 3 transfer. As an aside I’ve never got to day five with any of my embies.

Wishing you so much luck xxxxxx

in reply toEmma04

Thanks for the luck think we need it! Feel so negative about this round. Thrilled to read about your 12 week scan - congratulations xx

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5

Missed this Daisy....sorry to hear about your disappointment! Ive seen quite a few ladies have success with 3 day transfers. Good luck, got everything crossed for you.xx

in reply toCinderella5

Thanks lovely - had 3 day 3s put back yesterday.

How are you doing? Really hope you are ok after such a torrid time xx

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5

Fabulous news, I couldnt see an update so great to hear!! Fingers crossed for those wee fighters! Im doing ok thanks, feeling fine and ready to go again - dont see any point in hanging around but my clinic usually say 3 months in between a pregnancy so have challenged that and will see what they come back with!xx

in reply toCinderella5

Masses of luck. I am similar - I just need to keep going again and feel like I am doing something productive. Really hope they demonstrate some flexibility.

I am not too optimistic at the mo, in so much pain still post EC and so bloated I can’t really believe any of them will survive! 🤞🏻🤞🏻 though

Keep us updated on how you get on xx

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5 in reply to

I just have zero patience and as you say its far better to be cracking on with something rather than just that awful waiting around! Will see what they say, I guess if its 12 weeks its not the end of he world although it will be my birthday around then.....another bloody year older....urgghhhh! Keep the faith, you just never know how those little ones will fare, better in mum than in a lab I always think!!xx

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