Billy no mates...

[mushy19]

This has to be the most awful week ever...😩💔

Lost my pregnancy

Argued with my mum & partner... apparently they’ve both been having a moan about me to each other. Complaining that I’m shutting them out etc.... My problem is they just seem to be getting on with life!!!

It’s only been 5 days...

Argued with my two best friends... who are only associated through me...

It’s silly really but they’ve decided to go on a spontaneous holiday without me.

They have invited me and even offered to pay for me but I’ve decided not to travel just yet as I would miss my follow up appointment with consultant.

Although we have all traveled together in the past I was still so annoyed they’ve decided to go without me😖

I guess I’m just not the usual happy go lucky people person I usually am... I’m hurt and feeling quite sensitive at the moment,

Hasn’t taken much to have me in floods of tears..😭

every conversation I had yesterday didn’t end well.

I’m not blaming any of them for what has happened like my mum said to me...

But I just don’t want to speak to any of them today.

[Solly-44]

Oh mushy, I’m so sorry 💔

You are going through a really painful time and are grieving right now. I think the disbelief at life continuing as normal around us, and frustration at this is a completely normal response.

I felt annoyed that my partner just carried on as if nothing had happened after our first cycle failed. Please know that I’m not comparing this to your loss, but I realised later that he was really hurt too. He was keeping it together because I completely lost it and someone had to! It may be that your partner’s struggling to express their feelings whilst wanting to be strong for you.

Allow yourself time and don’t beat yourself up for putting you first through this. I know you feel alone right now, and not much anyone can say will help but I’m thinking of you xx

[Hidden]

Hi Mushy,

You are going through a painful thing 💔 and you need time for grieving that's for sure.

My husband always move on faster than me (we lived 3 ectopic and 1MC). But I also learn that he was trying to be strong for me. All those losses were also very painful to him.

Grieving is different for everyone!

When I miscarried in Mars I traveled a week later with my husband. It was something that had been planned a couple of months before. I asked my clinic and for them it was OK for me to go. The holidays were good to keep our minds busy!

I've never forgotten my 4 "angels" but now it's less painful when I think about it.

So give yourself some time to heal too! You'll see that you'ill find strength to keep moving on!

xx

[Cinderella5]

Hey Mushy! You're hurting just now and personally I would just take the time that you need. I needed time to be in my own little bubble to get my head straight. I understand why you feel a bit left out with them going away without you however Im sure they didnt leave you out on purpose. Its a shame that you have fallen out with your husband and your mum but emotions run high at these times and its so easy for people to say the wrong thing or for us to take things the wrong way. We all deal with things in different frames, in different ways. If you can, try to get out into the fresh air to clear your head. Perhaps plan something to remember your lost little one, put a little something in the garden, a new plant or a windmill that you can visit....I felt this helped me. It does get easier but its still very early days. Hugs.xxx

[Bluelady-sing]

Fair enough if you have just lost your baby

[Hidden]

I think the ladies have given you sound advice & not much more I can add.

I am so sorry you’re going through this it’s so very heartbreaking. I had a chemical pregnancy in 2017 & I still remember how hard it hit me. My hubby seemed to move on easier than I did & all I did was remember how far along I’d be. I remember feeling angry at him for “ finding it easy to forget” turned out he was hiding his grief to “protect me”. I think your mum & hubby are unsure what to say or do around you; they are struggling to see you so heartbroken & want to make you feel better. Right now of course that isn’t possible. It’s one day at a time. Grief is individual but will get better in time. For me I only started to feel better once the due date had passed. You probably need some space but need to have others close to you there when you are ready to talk. I get it it’s a shattered dream & when it’s such a wanted baby it’s even worse. Some people like to do something in honour of their lost baby such as a plant a tree etc this can feel healing to some couples.

I’m sure it’ll blow over with your mum & hubby. I think you really need their support.

It will get easier but it’s very early days so don’t expect too much from yourself.

Big hugs you won’t be Billy no mates here xxx

[Lyn84]

It is hard when everyone moves on with life so easily and they pretty much expect you to do the same i miscarried last yr and again a twin on wednesday and both times my partner showed no emotion i told him how hard it was that everyone seem to expect me to snap out of it quickly and that his and my brothers reaction was the hardest to take he said that men aren't good with these things and don't know what to do and end up saying the wrong thing, i have found myself quite snappy tonight almost like i wanted to pick a fight i remember doing this last time too i think it is from feeling angry that the whole thing us unfair so the way you are reacting seems perfectly normal to me you just need more time and space to grieve

[Noah1981]

No one understands the journey till they have experienced it the most true and honest thing our very open and honest gynaecologist said to us and he also said any one who tells you this journey is easy is a liar .Your entitled to be hurt angry and upset I’ve spent 4years crying every single month but you will get there let the tears out let your friends and family have there moan have your grieving time cause that’s what you need to do but always remember we are on this journey TOGETHER there are some amaaazing human beings on this forum and we all in some way understand you big hugs and kisses darling just let it all out do what makes you feel better but in all honesty your partner should be supporting you but be reminded again you ain’t alone.Lots of love xxxx

[Hope25]

I am so so sorry you are going through this I cant begin to imagine what you are going though You need time to grieve and the arguments aren't down to you - but the situation and the emotions that you are all feeling. Your OH and mum are probably struggling too - they want to help but sometimes you just need your own time and space. You need time to process what has happened and your emotions before being ready to face others - and that is okay. They will understand even if they don't seem to. If you need to chat or rant feel free to send me a message x