Obese & IVF

[Babypleasexx]

Hi everyone, I expect to get a bit of backlash from this but anyhow. I’m hoping you all can feel my frustration or maybe tell me I am wrong. So I have a BMI of 41. Highly I know! Always been overweight my entire life. So I was refused IVF in Uk due to weigh on NHS 10 years ago. I got my BMI down to 34 from 45 and they refused me and it broke me. Literally I couldn’t not breath in the room when the consultant told me. Anyhow 9 years later I found out I had an extremely low Amh 0.02 and no chance with own eggs. So we gets in touch with IVI Valencia. They where told before we went of my weight and they weighed me when I was there. Any how now 1.5 years on after trying twice with my own eggs (never made pgd testing) due to quality we moved to donor with them. Now 2 failed cycles with own eggs, 1 negative result with donor eggs and 2 very early miscarriages with donors and €27,000 later. They have now decided they won’t treat me again until I loose a substantial amount of weight. A lady called and said my BMI is far too high and that’s the reason it’s not worked. No other reason medically just my weight!!!! Hang on. So you’ve just realised now about my weight after €27,000 later and huge email off me wanting answers. I guess I’m looking for advise as to what to do next. I feel robbed. Why was I not told to freeze all and loose weight!!!! I’m heart broken. I will loose weight before I try again but I feel robbed and mislead. They emailed after the 1st negative to day they can see no reason why I would not be pregnant with either one of the embryos left!!! But still no mention of “but you must loose weight first” . I don’t know what to do 🤷🏻‍♀️ Leave it and move on. My husband is seething as he specifically asked about my weight and they said nothing!

Thanks in advance

[MissSaoPaulo]

Wow, what a journey. Well done for getting this far, it must have been tough!! I don't think you'll see a backlash on here - people tend to be really supportive and not judgmental. In your shoes I would 1) Try and lose some weight - it may help with getting pregnant and if you do hopefully get there pregnancy will be more comfortable for you- you've lost a considerable amount already so you know you can do it and 2) look for a new clinic. It seems like the trust has gone from your relationship with the other one and you need to feel confident in your clinic and doctors

Best of luck with your next steps xxx

[Babypleasexx in reply to MissSaoPaulo]

Thank you. It’s always a worry moving clinics. But as you said trust is gone x

[EmGLA]

It sounds like you and your husband have both been through the mill!

I think it would be fair enough to ask them to explain why they had never asked you about losing weight in your previous cycles. I do agree with MissSaoPaulo regarding the loss of confidence you must be experiencing with this clinic, you may want to consider looking into other clinics.

I hope it works out for you!

xx

[Babypleasexx in reply to EmGLA]

It’s baffling! It’s like they have no answer so now decided it’s her weight. Let’s just say it’s the weight as we are too busy to look x