Friends 30th birthday 1/2 days after my Embryo Transfer....excuse needed! help!

[Katbaby19]

Hi ladies, due to start 2nd IVF this week. If my dates go roughly as the last round, I will be due to to do embryo transfer 1/2 days before a friends birthday. We are heading away for one night for a gig, I can hide the not drinking part, but I dont want to be out to all hours after the gig, as I will want to rest. We have seating at the concert, so wont be a mad one anyway. Do any of you have any good ideas what to say, so I can head back to our apartment after the concert. Theres only 3 of us going, dont want to raise any suspicions & equally dont want to ruin my friends birthday ,but I need to put myself first for once.

[MissSaoPaulo]

If you've definitely ruled out taking your friend into your confidence (we kept our treatment 100% quiet too, so I can understand that), and you don't want to let her down by cancelling, try faking an illness - upset tummy maybe? Best of luck xxx

[Klndmr]

Upset tummy or a really bad migraine 🙈 Best of luck with your transfer xxx

[Kempton]

Sudden food poisoning? Or a sudden sickness bug? I really got one the day of my cousins birthday party and I could barely move. It wiped me out!

Lots of apologies and a plan to do something 1-2-1 with your mate should soften the blow!

[kt_11]

My sister’s hen party was the same day as my embryo transfer, in a different city 60’miles from home. My sister knew what was going on but I told the others I was going to be late because I had to have a minor (planned) op. Once there, I went out for the meal but then went back to the hotel rather than staying out late to go out to the cocktail bar.

If you don’t want to do similar,’you could try suddenly feeling a bit poorly but maybe try not to lay it on too much in case one of them feels they have to stay with you or something!

Good luck for your cycle 😊

[emu2016]

I had similar situation... in the end I had an illness 1-2 days before the event, expressing I was quite ill and crossing everything it passed for the celebration. The night before I texted saying I was feeling much better and couldn’t wait for the event would just take it easy as was exhausted. At the event I didn’t really drink... I bought a round and treated myself to a gin and tonic. Without the gin but all other rounds we alcohol free. And I also expressed that I’d barely slept from the bug and was just wiped out so if they didn’t mind, I’d have an early night.

Can you suggest that maybe you all go straight back to appointment? Chances are you’ll be knackered and it’ll be heaving and it’ll be fairly late anyway. Get some booze in - buy booze! - and then just say you’re not up to drinking and have a brew. This might coincide with the sick story too!

My other trick (oooooo I’m a pro!) was to have a sudden event very early the next day... airport drop off; other half needing lift to work, had to have niece and nephew from 7am...pick up at 6.30am... this meant I missed out on actually staying over places but meant I was driving home and out of there. That is probably a bit more complicated in your situation though! Good luck! x

[Bridget_rose]

This resonates with me! My husband and I are spending the second May bank holiday weekend with three couples (more his friends than mine). I won’t be drinking at all but historically we’ve been quite a boozy bunch. I know if I just say I’m not drinking they’ll all think I’m pregnant and I just can’t bear that! But I don’t really want to tell them about IVF. I’ve told a few close friends and family but any more than that and it’s just too much pressure. Would appreciate any advice! Wondering whether to just make sure me and my husband sneakily get all my drinks and make them tonic only! My other half thinks we should say we’re doing IVF and leave it at that, saying we don’t want to discuss it in any more detail. So hard!