Still no baby 👶🏻 😪: Hi guys I’m 3... - Fertility Network UK

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Still no baby 👶🏻 😪

Peachschnapps profile image
47 Replies

Hi guys I’m 32, over weight diagnosed with PCOS and really struggling with the fact that all my friends are having there first baby 2nd or even 3rd around me, I don’t have regular periods I’m lucky if I have 2 a year, it’s now brought on anxiety that I will never be able to have children and I’m just going to grow old on my own !!

Doctors won’t do anything just say loose weight I’m just feeling really low and down about it all 😪😪 xx

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Peachschnapps profile image
Peachschnapps
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47 Replies
Spshope profile image
Spshope

I’m so sorry you are feeling like this. I have seen and know so many people with PCOS go through IVF and be successful. (Not me yet though - still hoping). Have you spoken to any other doctors? Plenty of people of all weights and sizes seem to get pregnant so may be worth exploring other opinions? Also considering fertility treatments like IVF? Sending you lots of love and good wishes!

DanniiJean profile image
DanniiJean

Hi Peachschnapps, sorry you feel like this, but rest assured you are not alone. I was in exactly the same boat. My periods were every 10 months or so, therefore no chance of conceiving naturally. NHS wouldn’t even check me for anything until I lost weight which absolutely crushed me because they could have sorted anything else out while I was trying to lose weight. Long story short I lost a couple of stone on slimming world, GP then referred me back to fertility clinic who straight away put me on metformin, this was to regulate me, it can also help with weight lost, although I don’t find this. I have now been through 2 fresh rounds and 1 frozen ICSI cycles and I have just received my positive pregnancy test!!! Don’t lose hope, it can happen to you. I would highly recommend you ask your doctor about metformin. Private message me if you want any more info. Xx

Peachschnapps profile image
Peachschnapps

Thankyou both spshope and dannii Jean

Yeah I just feel like I’m always on a loosing battle

I’m now about to change doctors so as soon as I have registered I will make an appointment and hopefully be able to get a good doctor who will be able to either put me on metformin or give me some advice

That’s what I also think there are ppl out there bigger than me that get pregnant why can’t I ??

I have tried slimming world and doesn’t work for some reason which is frustrating i don’t no if it’s the carb side or what !!

Xx

DanniiJean profile image
DanniiJean in reply toPeachschnapps

Hope you find some help from your new GP. It’s such an awful place to be, I have had so many tears because of it. I give up all hope of having a baby because I couldn’t loose weight and I knew they wouldn’t investigate my infertility until I had. Eventually I started slimming world for me (I was planning to get married) and it gave me something else to focus on. I’m in such shock that I turn 35 this year and due to have my first baby, it’s surreal. I know it’s hard and you will have some awful days, but try not to loose all hope. If I can do it anyone can! X

Peachschnapps profile image
Peachschnapps in reply toDanniiJean

Yeah me too, I feel sometimes I’m just going round in circles which is so frustrating!

I know that’s my biggest hurdle the weight loss! I just can’t seem to find a diet that helps :(

I’m so glad you managed to loose the weight and fall pregnant :) it’s lovely to hear of success stories xx

Littlepeax profile image
Littlepeax in reply toPeachschnapps

Hi hun, try the Keto diet. I went on one similar (AIP) to help my endo symptoms and lost a lot of weight too (unintentional) Its amazing xxx

Peachschnapps profile image
Peachschnapps in reply toLittlepeax

AIP ?? What’s that ?

I know that I have to give my self a big kick up the bum and sort myself out as I need to sort some sort of plan out to eat healthy and stick to it xx

Rach82 profile image
Rach82

Sorry you're so low. Don't give up! You need to stay strong and positive.

There are a lot of things you can do to help lose a bit of weight. The problem is you need to bring your bmi under 30 before doctors can even refer you for investigations.

I would recommend you have a look at Verity, the pcos charity, they also have a forum here. Those ladies have good advice for diet and general symptom management.

I was told a ketogenic, low carb diet is best, and that myo-inositol supplements can help regulate your cycle. The fertility nurses recommend Inofolic, although I have lean pcos so it didn't help me.

Try taking up yoga for strength and hormone regulation, I find it's a great mood lifter too. Good luck for your journey, it's a tough road but we are all here to help and support eachother xx

Peachschnapps profile image
Peachschnapps in reply toRach82

Tell me about it Rach82 it’s a massive struggle trying to get my weight down just a bit I’m a lot over weight I need to loose at least 6-7 stone if not more !

So getting my BMI down is a major challenge!

Oh really what’s the forum called on here ? I feel I need any help and support I can get !

Low carb is something that I’m trying to do as I know that eating carbs are 100% my downfall, Mayo-inositol? Do you get that from your doctor ?

Does yoga really work and help with that ?

Thankyou really appreciate it xx

Rach82 profile image
Rach82 in reply toPeachschnapps

Glad to help. Search pcos uk or verity to find the forum. They are a good bunch of supportive women.

You can buy myo-inositol from health shops like natures best online, sadly it's not available on prescription as it's a food supplement. But it is meant to help regulate blood sugar like metformin does. I couldn't cut out the carbs totally, but switched to wholegrain pasta and bread, and avoid sugar when I can.

Yoga (or any core strength exercise) increases blood flow to the abdomen and reproductive organs, and is meant to help with hormone balance. I use an app called down dog, which is great if you've done it before. It might be best to join a class if you're a total beginner.

Peachschnapps profile image
Peachschnapps in reply toRach82

Thankyou I’ll have a look now and see if I can find the forum

Oh fab thankyou, I’ll have a look on line and see if I can find the product :) which would you say is the best myo-inositol or metformin

I have totally cut out sugar it’s now cutting the carbs which is killer for me !!

I’ve never done yoga before so would be all new to me ! Xx

Rach82 profile image
Rach82 in reply toPeachschnapps

Inotisol is sightly sweet so it's almost like a sweetner you can put in smoothies or on cereal. Well done for cutting out sugar, I found it really tough!

Can't say which is best because I never took metformin, but my friend has lost weight using it. She did have some nasty side effects the first week though.

Like the other ladies have said, push for a referral because the process takes time, and you can be losing weight while waiting for appointments. It took 18 months from me being diagnosed with pcos to starting IVF last month.

Uffculmedolly profile image
Uffculmedolly in reply toPeachschnapps

Hi Peachschnapps, how did you get on with the weight loss? I too am struggling with weight loss and have been advised to lose 4 stone to reduce my BMI. , we had our first IVF attempt in December which failed, I out on over a stone during treatment and another stone comfort eating when it failed! X

Peachschnapps profile image
Peachschnapps in reply toUffculmedolly

Hi Uffculmedolly currently my weight loss is not happening the most I have lost at the min is 5 lbs but that keep flickering up and down !! Oh the joys ! How about you ? How have you been with it all any luck with in the weight loss ? Xx

Uffculmedolly profile image
Uffculmedolly in reply toPeachschnapps

Totally the same as you! For me it’s a vicious circle, i am good for a couple of days, feel down and then eat rubbish! Thinking of doing a shake diet like Cambridge diet or slimfast. I don’t know why I sabotage myself, we have looked at a different IVF clinic and on Saturday were told that they won’t do IVF for us until I reduce my BMI! My response to this was to binge eat chocolate! Perhaps we could give each other support? Xx

Peachschnapps profile image
Peachschnapps in reply toUffculmedolly

I’m 300 lbs so I know that I’m never going to be able to get any help or support to have a baby or carry one naturally fall pregnant yet until I loose all this weight !

I have often thought about do shakes or Cambridge but I no that it’s not ideal as soon as you start eating again you will end up putting it back in and more which will then really frustrate me lol

I need to sit down and think hard about what it is that I can do that will help me out I know that before this was a few years now that I did a low GI diet and ended up losing 2 stone in four months might be worth digging out the books and re looking into that !!

I’m totally the same though eat when happy and eat when sad I just need to sort it out maybe get some hypnosis lol supporting each other would be amazing :) I’m 33 next month and worry I’m running out of time :( xx

Uffculmedolly profile image
Uffculmedolly in reply toPeachschnapps

You have lots of time ☺️ I’m 37 in April, I use to worry about my age but nowadays women in their early 40s are having babies so we will be fine ☺️

Let’s do this together and get some weight off! I’ll pm you xx

Peachschnapps profile image
Peachschnapps in reply toUffculmedolly

Fingers crossed, I can only hope, yeah it’s becoming more common isn’t it ladies having babies later on rather than early, 100% yeah sounds good xxx

Uffculmedolly profile image
Uffculmedolly in reply toPeachschnapps

Hi Peachschapps, how are you getting on with the weight loss??

Peachschnapps profile image
Peachschnapps in reply toUffculmedolly

Hi not great I’ve put on about half a stone during this crazy lockdown !!

Can’t seem to loose :( how about you x

Uffculmedolly profile image
Uffculmedolly in reply toPeachschnapps

Similar, only I have put on a lot more than half a stone 😩 I am so disappointed in myself, I just wish I could pull my self out of this cycle.. xx

Peachschnapps profile image
Peachschnapps in reply toUffculmedolly

Today I have had a really good healthy day, just hope that it will continue but I never know how I’m going to wake up feeling that has a big factor !!

I keep thinking I’ll start each day fresh and try and make the best choices I can xx

hannahding profile image
hannahding

I can understand how hard this must be for you. However, dont lose hope. I am sure things will get better. Visit a good doctor. Someone who is experienced and is a specialist. He/she will definitely be able to help you out. Good luck to you. Sending baby dust your way.

Peachschnapps profile image
Peachschnapps in reply tohannahding

Thankyou hannahding means a lot 😘 xx

Tealbeach profile image
Tealbeach

I’m in a similar situation to you, but my gp did refer me to the local fertility clinic despite my weight. This meant that I was able to under go scans and blood tests whilst trying hard to lose weight. I would ask for a second opinion at your gp and push for a referral to the hospital. I managed to lose weight through a mixture of slimming world and meal replacements. Good luck x

Peachschnapps profile image
Peachschnapps in reply toTealbeach

I’m glad that your gp have been able to refer you and that you have been able to get sorted! Losing weight while having tests etc :)

Yeah fingers crossed I will get some answers soon !! Or see a change in my weight to hopefully see a light at the end of the tunnel before I get to old lol xx

SJYoung profile image
SJYoung

Peachschnapps I was in the same boat as you, the NHS has never taken my PCOS seriously as I was massively over weight. I kid you not I have been the proud auntie/God mother to ALL of my friends babies and I feel like a piece of me is missing!

I have so far managed to lost 4.5 stone with weight watchers over 2 years 2 months but it really is so hard! The NHS still wouldn't look twice at me after all of that work so I do feel your pain.

Just keep going and never give up x

Peachschnapps profile image
Peachschnapps in reply toSJYoung

Hi SJYoung, it’s so frustrating isn’t it :( I know what you mean there I’m an auntie 6 times and god parents to a boy and girl but not a mum yet !

Wow Well done you What do you eat ?

How much have they said you have to loose before they will help ? Xx

SJYoung profile image
SJYoung in reply toPeachschnapps

Hey hun, I generally eat fresh meats, soups and oats (foods that keep you fuller for longer) but I will confess I love my food in general including junk food so finding the balance is a pain especially when my husband is stick thin and eats what he wants :(

I am fortunate enough to be able to go to a private clinic now as the BMI rules are slightly relaxed compared to the NHS but if ever I needed the NHS i would still need to lose another 2.5 stone and I'm not even that big anymore x

Peachschnapps profile image
Peachschnapps in reply toSJYoung

Yeah I have been trying to cut down on the crap and eat a little more of the food stuff but I feel your pain and know what it’s like when you love so much of the naughty foods lol

Having that run is just so annoying that you have to be so small before you get any help :( upsetting xx

ClareM86 profile image
ClareM86

I feel your pain. Bigger people then me were getting pregnant and I was really struggling to lose weight. We knew we would have to have ICSI and so ended up going private as the idea of the 2/3 year wait was not doing my mental health any good. We were obviously in the fortunate position to be able to do this but I’m well aware many aren’t.

I’ve heard a lot of people try the ketone diet to help them lose weight or WW is good as it has the app which is helpful. X

Peachschnapps profile image
Peachschnapps in reply toClareM86

Hi clareM86 tell me about it how is that fair ?

How much do you weight if you don’t mind me asking ? Will they still help you private then ?, totally know what you mean there so heart wrenching and upsetting !!

That’s what thing I haven’t tried that’s WW x

Marylyn profile image
Marylyn

Hi Hopefully the info I give you will help.Dont Take Metformin as it depletes a vital vitamin b12 .I have taught fertility awareness for 34 yrs.I highly recommend you Have following blood tests serum & active vitamin B12 ,folate,ferritin,iron,magnesium,zinc ,vitamin D levels.Low vitamin B12 can cause infertility,PCOS, diabetes,miscarriages,anxiety,depression unbeknown to most Drs .Clean up your diet no alcohol,gluten,sugar,caffeine,vegan or vegetarian diets. Drink filtered water,eat organic meat fruit & veg ,avoid chemicals & preservatives.I had a client trying to achieve for 4 yrs ,low in vit b12 .She used a b12 spray & was pregnant in 4 mths.Male Fertility too can be improved by vit b12 suppliments sperm count 20 million rose to 100 million after suppliments taken .If you Have nerve symptoms you may need vit b12 injections oral tabs are useless but sublinguals under the tongue are helpful between injections.Good luck .

Boo718 profile image
Boo718

You are not alone. I got told the same thing 2 years ago. I’ve lost 5 stone and I’m going through the 6 th round of ivf shortly (male and female issues) please keep going. Don’t lose weight too fast, that can cause issues with hormones. Take it slow and steady. Where abouts are u? Xxx

Uffculmedolly profile image
Uffculmedolly in reply toBoo718

That’s amazing! Well done Boo718! How did you lose that much weight? Xx

Boo718 profile image
Boo718 in reply toUffculmedolly

I go to slimming world xxx

Peachschnapps profile image
Peachschnapps

Boo718 Thankyou for the message wow 5 stone what did you do ? Have any tips ? Oh bless you the 6th round fingers and toes crossed for you !!

I have no issue in loosing weight fast lol hahah can’t seem to loose anything right now the most is 5lbs lol, I’m in the uk 🇬🇧 you ? Xx

Boo718 profile image
Boo718 in reply toPeachschnapps

I go to slimming world. I just upped my exercise and ate less junk. I’ve lost it slowly so it hasn’t shot back on. I feel so much better and I can see my feet 🤣 I’m in Scotland xxx

Dolly8 profile image
Dolly8

Try Atkins diet. I have PCOS and struggle with weight but this help me lose weight and brought a period on. There is some link between insulin and PCOS. If you control carb intake you control blood glucose. And it helped my hormones. Brother in law is a consultant endocrinologist and he is not too sure of why, but give it a go xx

Peachschnapps profile image
Peachschnapps

Dolly8 what does the Atkins diet involve and consist of ? Have you been on it if so how much weight have you got to lose and how much have you lost have you been doing it for long ? Xx

Dolly8 profile image
Dolly8 in reply toPeachschnapps

‘New Atkins New you’ is the book you need - chapter 7 I think. Over the years I have lost loads on Atkins. When I get bored of Atkins (oh it’s hard) I flip between that and SlimmingWorld (using low carb recipes). I have more regular periods these days after having my daughter, but Atkins will bring a period on for me which is fab. I have had IVF to have my daughter and now pregnant with twins (ivf also). Wishing you all the luck in the world. Xx

Peachschnapps profile image
Peachschnapps in reply toDolly8

Oooo I will have to have a look into that book and see if it is any good to me at all, well done you that’s amazing that you have managed to loose weight and fall pregnant so pleased for you :) thankyou hunni xx

MrsH17 profile image
MrsH17

Not sure if this is a old post still. Sorry to hear that you have the daily struggles especially with weight due to the PCOS it must be awful. I highly recommend the Cambridge Diet. Lots of people I know have done this diet and become pregnant xxxx good luck xxx

Peachschnapps profile image
Peachschnapps in reply toMrsH17

Thankyou for your message was an older post but ppl have picked it up again so started conversations again :) which I’m happy about as feeling a bit low about it all if I’m totally honest I just worry that’s it’s shakes and not good :/ xx

MrsH17 profile image
MrsH17 in reply toPeachschnapps

It has meals now ... I did it to lose weight quickly and it was good

Had caramel bites for breakfast

Spag Bol or soup for dinner

Mac and cheese for tea :) xxx

Peachschnapps profile image
Peachschnapps in reply toMrsH17

Oh really ?? Do you no have shakes at all then ? Xx

treezuk profile image
treezuk

I just come across this post I know it’s a year old - have you had all your levels re-checked including AMH/FSH to see what your reserve is like , I know you said you have PCOS but there can be other reasons that periods go missing like premature ovarian failure I was diagnosed with this at 32 after an ectopic pregnancy I really struggled to get pregnant with my first whose now 11 and was always overweight went on to have Donor Egg ivf and now have twin boys 14m so it can happen even being overweight I was able to do ivf successfully.

Hope that gives you some hope for the future , it’s not always easy but never give up.

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