Another Xmas with no baby : I’m on... - Fertility Network UK

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Another Xmas with no baby

Arya10 profile image
15 Replies

I’m on cycle day 3 of cycle 30 TTC, never been pregnant, on the IVF waiting list (I’m told another 9-12 months wait), ‘unexplained infertility’.

Feeling really sad today, I can’t believe I’ll have another Xmas with no baby, not even one on the way.

Anyone else feeling the same way? How do we get through this?

Me and hubby are having Xmas just the 2 of us this year.

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Arya10 profile image
Arya10
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15 Replies

Hi Arya. So sorry to hear how sad you feel. I think there are a lot of people who can empathise with this feeling and feel the same.

I am struggling with this Christmas because its my 3rd or 4th since starting TTC, but its my first with my sisters new baby.. our family is making a HUGE big deal about 'babies first Christmas'.. its so painful!

We are going to try and do different things, new traditions at Christmas, plan a holiday etc etc, so that it doesn't feel like 'another year without a baby' but instead feels like 'a new experience as we enjoy life waiting for our miracle baby' sounds a bit cliche'd but this journey is so all consuming I know I can't keep counting the days, months years because I just get too miserable.

Sending you hugs xx

Arya10 profile image
Arya10 in reply to

Hi Daisy, I think it’s my 3rd Xmas too. I’m sorry to hear that your family are making such a big deal about your sister a new baby, that must be really tough. Do they know what you’re going through at all?

That’s a great way to be, I’m going to take inspiration from you and plan some exciting things for 2019 with hubby. hugs right back xx

2-shades-of-hope profile image
2-shades-of-hope

Hi Arya, I’m feeling like this too. I really thought I would have a baby by this Christmas (maybe a bit optimistic). I got pregnant on my FET and was so excited about being pregnant this Christmas but I since miscarried. I’m finding Christmas songs hard - especially everything that mentions babies ‘baby all I want for Christmas is you’, ‘baby it’s cold outside’... grrrr! This probably isn’t much help to you but I think what you are feeling is very normal xx

Arya10 profile image
Arya10 in reply to 2-shades-of-hope

I’m so sorry to hear of your miscarriage :(

It’s hard isn’t it. I used to love Xmas and getting in the mood and listening to Xmas songs but it all just reminds me of the family I don’t have (yet!) (I don’t have much of a relationship with my parents so Xmas is tough in that sense too).

Everyone has given such good advice below, which I hope helps you too? I guess we have to look for all the positives and what we’re grateful for to help us get through. Once Xmas is over it’ll feel like a weight lifted too x

2-shades-of-hope profile image
2-shades-of-hope in reply to Arya10

Thank you, I agree. I never used to like January but the fresh start will be good xx

Sweets1 profile image
Sweets1

Hi, I totally understand how you feel, and it is really hard, I was hoping there would be some kind of development, but we don’t start until the new year. I know it’s hard but as mentioned may plan a few nice things to do for you and hubby, my husband wants to go ice skating for 1, so we are planning stuff to do or to go. Good luck xxx

Arya10 profile image
Arya10 in reply to Sweets1

Exiting that you’re getting started in the new year! Love that you’re planning things like ice skating! We’ve booked a spa day for Xmas eve after reading everyone’s comments. I think we deserve a wee treat xx

Sweets1 profile image
Sweets1 in reply to Arya10

That sounds lovely, it will be just what you need!!! Xxx

CharlieW1985 profile image
CharlieW1985

I too am finding it difficult... I thought this time last year we would have a little one or at least one on the way by this Christmas. Yet we are still without one (apart from husbands children).

I was hoping Christmas would provide a distraction until my laparoscopy at end of Jan but its not. Its very difficult seeing families with children wishing you would had been blessed with one.

I just hope new year brings good news and joy xx

Arya10 profile image
Arya10 in reply to CharlieW1985

That’s the part I find hard, families are so apparent now, in our faces everyone. Kids opening presents etc. But, when it’s us one day we will be so appreciative. Here’s to 2019 bringing us our babies! xx

AS100 profile image
AS100

It’s so hard isn’t it? I have felt the same about Christmas, it’s such a difficult marker of time with lots of focus on children, it feels like that anyway. I am going to get through it by focusing on my husband and family 😊 being grateful for what I do have.... and looking forward to the new year, when the days start getting longer and lighter hurrah! ☀️ sending you love xxx

Arya10 profile image
Arya10 in reply to AS100

I love your outlook. I’m trying to do the same, we’ve booked a wee spa day for Xmas eve to chill and relax. You’re right about being grateful, I’m finding gratitudes are really important in this journey. Thanks for the comment, here’s to a happy and healthy new for us x

AS100 profile image
AS100 in reply to Arya10

I have definitely shed some tears! But I am fighting and trying to keep that outlook 😀 even if it wanes and then I have to fight again!

Definitely here’s to a happy and healthy new year 🤗 😘

Scarlett13 profile image
Scarlett13

I hear you! My boyfriend and I felt sad putting up the tree as we started trying for a baby around Xmas time 5 years ago, and still no baby. It’s really hard but we are positive that one day it will happen and we will do whatever it takes and don’t lose sight of that xxx

HollieW profile image
HollieW

My husband and I are spending it just together as it gets quite painful at this time of year. Do what is best for you and I do hope you have a great Christmas xx

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