Still in shock... After Advice

[HelenJudi1]

Hello all...

As some of you will know, I was fortunate enough to get my first BFP after a FET. My first hcg reading was 236. 6 days after my BFP news, I had some pink blood so my clinic got me in the following day for another blood test. Exactly a week after my first reading of 236 I got good News and was told that all seemed well with my bloods and my reading was now 2893. That was a week ago. Today I am exactly 6 weeks and my scheduled first scan is 11 days from now where I should be 7weeks + 5.

The thing is... I just can’t relax and I’m worrying about everything. I’ve heard so many stories of MMC and ectopic pregnancies and I know people personally that have had that experience and I am just convinced something will go wrong. I’ve never had a BFP and I think I had convinced myself it would never happen, I’m not really sure it has sunk in. I am also not really experiencing any reassuring ‘symptoms’. I did have really sore boobs for the first couple of weeks but that seems to come and go now. I also initially felt really bloated but again that seems to come and go... I’m having mild cramps but I’ve been having those since a few days after the FET. My OH says that I need to find a way to think positive and if something happens we will deal with it but I can’t convince myself something bad will happen before it does. I think she’s right but it’s also easier said than done.

You guys have kept me sane all through the process up to now so I’m hoping you’ll have some words of wisdom to put my mind a rest... 🤞🏻❤️🤞🏻

[destiny121]

All what you’ve said is totally normal and after all the heart ache of this journey you never quite know how you would feel if you do ever get that bfp. I was exactly the same... didn’t get too excited.. went with the flow and then once you start reaching milestones you slowly start to get excited that it’s actually happening. Take each day as it comes.. try not to think too much and just remember each day that passes your lil bean is developing and growing.... exciting time ahead... it’s christmas soon and you’re pregnant so try to enjoy the moment whilst cautiously being happy 😊😊

[HelenJudi1 in reply to destiny121]

Thank you... at least I know I’m not alone with these thoughts! I’m hoping that I’ll feel better after the scan (all being well 🤞🏻) I’m trying to keep busy but I’m actually really tired at the moment. I need to maybe try and focus on the small things and the positives until the time passes... thank you again 😊

[Southeast28]

Firstly congratulations on your BFP! I was pretty much the same as you when I found out, dreaded every scan, kept telling myself something was going to go wrong. I was also pretty much symptom less which made it harder! I’m now 33 weeks (and feeling extremely blessed) however I do look back and think I partly ruined for myself what should have been a happy and positive pregnancy! And I worried about so much for no reason! I kept saying to my partner I just wish I could know for sure that everything will turn out okay. But I don’t think that nagging thought can ever truly go away. That being said you are pregnant and have every chance of it being successful, so TRY and enjoy the moment and take each day as it comes, and be kind to yourself! Xx

[HelenJudi1 in reply to Southeast28]

Thank you! This does make me feel better... it’s exactly how I feel! I don’t want to ruin this, I’ve been wanting it for so long and I’m desperate to enjoy it but it’s harder than it sounds. I think I naively thought that once I got a BFP all would be fine... I am trying to focus on the fact that the odds are actually in my favour finally, there’s more chance of all going well than it not which is not the case with fertility! Congratulations on your BFP and I hope all goes well for the rest of your pregnancy ❤️ xx

[sun-and-rain]

I believe almost all of us who finally got our BFP and passed it through the 12w milestone have felt more or less how you are feeling... And well, I still can't loosen the enthusiasm yet at 12w5d. Actually, today has been one of the worst up to now in this pregnancy... Crying for not wanting to eat although being hungry and knowing that I have to. Crying for being lonely, but not coping even with the idea of being social. Crying because of social and political unrest in a couple of countries where I have friends and family. Crying for times passed by (nostalgia). Crying for tasks to be done, but which overwhelmes me. I guess it's not too unnormal, but it's really, really tiring...

So my best advice is: Surround yourself with some close friends who you know will cope with you in both ups and downs these weeks. And who accepts that they should not expect you to be jumping enthusiasticly for joy - yet 😘😘😘 Crossing fingers for the rest of our pregnancies 😘😘😘

[HelenJudi1 in reply to sun-and-rain]

Thank you for replying! I’ve been pretty emotional the last couple of days. Mainly fretting about a lack of symptoms! My OH is incredibly supportive which does help. Thank you... fingers crossed for both our pregnancies 🤞🏻🤞🏻

[Nessa500]

Congratulations on your positive result. I'm 17 weeks today and still anxious & worrying something will go wrong. Each milestone is a relief and helps me to relax slightly but I guess I'm just afraid of getting too attached and excited. It appears that this is fairly common and natural with those that have been through IVF or other difficulties to get to where we are now. I don't have any magic advice other than to say this forum is amazing for support, know that people are here for you and that what you are experiencing is normal. Also, everybody's symptoms during pregnancy are different and I found my nausea etc didn't kick in until after the stage you are now, so it may be yet to come! Take care of yourself. Very best wishes xx

[HelenJudi1 in reply to Nessa500]

Thank you! Congratulations to you too! That is exactly how I feel, I’m afraid to get excited! I’m trying not to compare how i feel to other people as I know we are all different but I think sometimes that is harder than it sounds. I do find this forum really supportive, it has kept me sane in recent times! I’m very grateful for it. Take care xx

[Refocus]

I'm in the exact same position. I got my first bfp almost two weeks ago so am now 6 weeks and 2 days pregnant, except i started bleeding red blood last night, terrified but managed to get a scan for tomorrow morning, so just need to hold tight and be positive for another 24hours! Just take one day at a time and focus on that 7.5 week scan! There's no reason to think negatively. Best of luck and I look forward to hearing good things from your 7.5 week scan xxx

[HelenJudi1 in reply to Refocus]

Thank you for replying to me! How did your scan go?? I hope everything is ok!! 🤞🏻 i am trying to stay busy and focus on the fact that I am pregnant until told otherwise so I need to stay positive 🤞🏻🤞🏻 xx

[Refocus in reply to HelenJudi1]

Good thank you, we saw a heartbeat! I feel so much more settled now but still anxious about the next scan. Time is going so slowly and my husband is away this week! Fingers and toes crossed for us all xxx

[HelenJudi1 in reply to Refocus]

Thank goodness!! Fingers crossed 🤞🏻 xx

[1980sbaby]

I hear you 100%. Because its planned we know what can happen and the fight we have had to put in to get this far. If this was a natural conception and ivf wasn't needed would we worry so much? Probably not, so its completely natural. Your tiredness is a key sign that all is ok. There is your symptom. That sad thing is whatever is going to happen will happen, there is nothing you can do about it sadly, and nothing you would have done would be your fault.

I'm currently in the 2ww and every negative thought I have I try and counteract it with a positive one. It helps, but knowing too much will always put that doubt in your head. Don't beat yourself up too much, your embryo obviously loved it in there to implant so hopefully its unpacked and planning on staying for 9 months. Like my friend said to me, there is no reason for it not to work.....xx. good luck beaut.xx

[HelenJudi1 in reply to 1980sbaby]

Thank you So much! I hope your two week wait goes well 🤞🏻🤞🏻

I’m trying to stay positive, there’s no reason for it not to continue for me, I just need to focus on that... thank you again! It helped me xx

[LunaLovegood11]

Hey! I think I’m in a similar boat... Got a viability scan booked a week on Tuesday.

I told my partner I really wanted to enjoy pregnancy if I ever got the chance and that worry is stopping me getting excited. I struggle to say ‘I’m pregnant’ instead thinking ‘I might be pregnant’...

He told me to enjoy it as I want, get the apps and books I thought I’d be getting. I think once the scan is done and if all is well then I’m going to enjoy each day as it’s been a rocky road getting here and each step each day is a big milestone passed.

Even if I don’t allow myself to enjoy it, it’s not protecting me as I’d be just as devastated if things go wrong whether I allowed myself to be excited or not.

Best of luck! Xx

[HelenJudi1 in reply to LunaLovegood11]

You are absolutely right. I’m attached to my little one already, being excited or upset for the foreseeable won’t change the outcome. The logical side of me knows this and yet I still worry something is / will go wrong. My OH went and got me a book I had been eyeing about pregnancy. She knew I had wanted it but I’m scared to read it as I feel like a fraud, like this isn’t really happening and at my scan they are going to tell me so. Does that make sense? My viability scan is a week on Thursday so just counting the days. I hope yours goes well 🤞🏻🤞🏻 xx