One of those days...

[AJJ123]

Today is one of those days where I stared at a pregnancy test long enough I could ‘almost’ convince myself i could see lines regardless of the fact I had a period a week ago.

This really is a tough journey and it’s a long and painful one too. (5 years).

I have an FET in a week or so, so I should be full of excitement but inside my head or my conscience (if that is what it is.. ha) is casting a shadow of doubt on the whole thing.

I keep thinking:

‘It’s a rubbish grade’

‘It’ll be like the others and end in mc’

‘It won’t take, I’ll get bfn’

I’m not really sure how to handle it right now. Am I being unnecessarily negative? I don’t know.

I’m not sure how I will feel if it goes t up. Anyone have any advice?

X

[Hidden]

It's so so hard but somehow we manage to shake off the feelings, dust ourselves down and carry on. Really wishing you all the best for this round xx

[AJJ123 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Camillage, it really is. Some days are a breeze but this afternoon I think it’s really affecting me.

I feel bitterly disappointed before its even begun. Xx

[Hidden in reply to AJJ123]

It's understandable. Self preservation so an auto response from your brain to prepare you for the worst. But hang on in there. Tomorrow you may feel so positive again xx

[AJJ123 in reply to Hidden]

Fingers crossed 🤞 xx

[MissSaoPaulo]

You've got to be in it to win it hon.

It's very difficult to control the negative thoughts, don't be beating yourself up about how you 'should' feel, there's no right way to do this. But bear in mind the negative thoughts are probably a phase that will pass and are NOT AT ALL a predictor of the outcome. Chin up and best of luck xxx

[AJJ123 in reply to MissSaoPaulo]

Thanks for being realistic about it. I just found myself all of a sudden feeling dread of the tww and then if I am so very lucky ... the further tww after that where it all went wrong before. Xx

[2-shades-of-hope]

I felt/feel like you do. I think it’s natural as we try to protect ourselves. It is hard when so much comes down to chance. I hope your next transfer is successful x

[AJJ123 in reply to 2-shades-of-hope]

That’s really kind of you, I hope it works out too. I think I’m torturing myself in preparation for the ship to sink xx

[Doglover7866]

We all have them. It’s important to know you’re not alone. So many of us are with you and in the same boat. You are more resilient than you think! Xx

[AJJ123 in reply to Doglover7866]

Thank you, I feel a bit better about it today. I really hope it goes alright this time xx