Has anyone else had a day as ridiculously cr*p as me?
Woke up bleeding, 4 days before OTD. It's a proper period. I'm sure this cycle has failed. It's only yesterday that's if started to allow myself hope as I had got past the point where AF arrived on my last cycle.
I'm a teacher, I teach infants. First child through the door bounced in and said "guess what, I'm a big brother at last!" Cue lots of parental discussions about birth weights etc. I've found it bad enough watching this mum's bump grow... simply because her partner lives in the states, they only see each other twice a year so I can't quite believe that they've managed to now have two children together when I can't get pregnant from the partner I live with!
Then, an hour or so later, it's assembly time. A class assembly performed by a different class. Their topic is growing and changing. They opened their assembly with a slide show of pictures of themselves as babies accompanied by sentimental music. At which point I snuck out and went and had a little cry in the staff toilets. And noticed that the bleeding was heavier.
Rang clinic yesterday when I was cramping and spotting. They haven't rung back even though they usually promise to ring back on the same day. I'd like them to tell me to stop the pessaries as pushing then in whilst AF is here is so unpleasant. But I daren't stop until Sunday unless they tell me to.
To top it all off, I have to go to a wedding on Saturday. I think I'll be drinking (for the first time in ages) but I'll feel like I shouldn't because I won't have done my OTD test yet. The only other guests we know are a couple whose wedding we attended in September (when they sat me at a table with two pregnant couples as hubbie was on the top table... another infertility low moment!). They are, of course, now expecting a baby in the summer, just after what would have been my due date if we had not had a miscarriage. Because that's what you do isn't it? Get married and have a baby. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but I don't really want to face them this weekend. (Can you tell they are hubbie's friends, not mine... so I'm not all that interested in seeing them at the best of times! Harsh but true).
I know many of you have been in this angry place so you won't mind me ranting. Thank you for reading!!!
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Lizzielizzielizzie
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36 Replies
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Aww Hun sorry to hear this but as with ever worry we have on here there's always a few stories of people that have gone to have bfps. so let's all keep our fingers crossed for you. As for the pessary can you not use the back door? I was told I could use either although I haven't tried it but might be better for you if bleeding xx 🍀🍀🍀
Oh my goodness that sounds like a really rough day. You sound like you need a proper hug, a decent film to distract you and a tub of Ben and Jerry's!!!
As if it wasn't bad enough starting to bleed and worrying about the outcome of the cycle all the rest on top is just torture. I think you're a complete saint for staying at work and not just running home to hide under the duvet.
Stay strong and do whatever you need to right now. Look after number 1 and I hope your hubby is looking after you xxx
Aww Lizzie that has got to be up there with one of the shittiest days ever.
Poor you I wish I could help.
Re the bleeding only you know yourself if it's feel AT but if for nothing else than going by the book I would continue with the pessaries.
Have a few drinks at the wedding it sounds like you might need them to get through and don't worry or feel guilty about it. I'VE has had enough of your co-operation just maybe don't drink too much if your liable to get over emotional. I cry at the drop of a hat when I have a few and that's not even during IVF.
Really hoping I read a different post from you in a few days but until then take care of yourself xx
Ah sorry to hear this lovely, I did go on to have a positive after a bleed, and the mmc was actually unrelated to the bleed randomly, so you never know. Can you take tomorrow off to have a day for you? Teaching is draining at the best of times, let alone when you're feeling rather fragile. Try to look after yourself xxxx
Oh Lizzie this is awful I don't blame you for wanting to hibernate over the weekend!!! What a time. Clinic will probably say keep taking the pessaries until OTD. I'm so sorry this is happening. I so so wanted this to be your time. Thinking of you loads xx
That is s crappy day indeed Lizzie, I really hope tomorrow is better and you end up surprised by a bfp on test day 🙏🏻 Xx
I totally understand.im sorry for your pain.do what you need to do to feel better.sending hugs to you Lizzie
I'm sorry to hear you've having a crap day lizzie this is the place to have a good moan and a cry you can be your ture self and not worry about putting on a front. I hope tomorrow is s better day for you and praying it isn't game over for you xxx
I'm sorry you're having such a rotten time. Try to take care of yourself. Do you need to attend the wedding? We went to a wedding when I should have been 16 weeks pregnant but unfortunately had a mmc and had only just finished treatment. I couldn't drink as I was driving to our hotel. Hubby got asked my someone if we had considered kids and he just told them outright we'd just had a mc. I was in the loo at the time thank goodness. The happy couple produced baby a year of so later as you say that's what people do and weddings are a prime time to get asked!
We already take the approach of telling people outright and it's definitely better that way. I like to think that it is helping people to understand not to say such inconsiderate things another time... there's no good way to ask people about their child bearing intentions but some many people don't know that!
Oh wow, and I thought I'd had a bad day because another friend has told me she's pregnant! I really feel for you. I'm a primary school teacher too so can empathise. Primary schools are baby friendly places and sometimes it feels like everywhere you turn there's a reminder. I think you're incredibly brave going to weddings where you're sat with pregnant ladies. I avoid all pregnant ladies and still haven't met up with a friend of mine who was pregnant at the same time that I had a miscarriage and her baby is almost a year old now. It makes me feel bad but I am protecting myself. I would strongly advise you to have the day off tomorrow. With what your body is going through/has been through, physically and emotionally you probably need a break. As teachers I think we're particularly bad at struggling on and putting others first. Think about what advice you'd give a friend. Take care of yourself xxx
I didn't know that I was going to be sat with pregnant ladies at the last one... it was just a thoughtful choice of the bride. I didn't know them! The same wedding included my husband's ex girlfriend prancing around on the dance floor at nine months pregnant... she also got pregnant straight after getting married. So I guess at least this forthcoming wedding won't be as bad as that wedding.
Goodness me! Well, from reading all the replies to your message we're all thinking of you and hoping for a positive outcome for you on Sunday. Have a restful weekend xx
Sorry to hear you've had such a shitty day, you're super strong for staying at work though, I'd probably have stayed in hiding at home! Sending a big hopeful hug that everything works out, maybe you should skip the wedding if you can, sounds like stress you really don't need at the moment, I know it's probably difficult but you need to look after yourself and be selfish sometimes xx
It must be so difficult with the job that you do. Hopefully all is still ok for you and hopefully you hear from the clinic. This weekend does sound difficult just do what is best for you.
The pessaries can be put it the bum if better than the
Wow you have had a crappy day. I am also an infant teacher and totally know how you feel, constant reminder. I hope you have had a relaxing evening and take time for yourself. Good luck x
I'm so sorry you've had a crappy day. It is really rough being at school when you feel like that. Sometimes I start to cry in assembly because the children's singing is so lovely! It brings out all the emotion. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day at school and you may stop bleeding. I agree with the others, you never know what's going on so keep that positive thinking going until you test to find out for sure. Big hug xxx
Thanks MrsC. I sometimes get emotional at the children singing too... and I shed a little tear in parents evening this year when a parent told a particularly emotive story! I'm an all round emotional soul anyway. But actually today I walked out because I felt really cross! I'm very cross to have not even got to the end of the 2ww. But then I didn't last time either so I shouldn't really be surprised.
Thank you to everyone who has said the bleeding might stop etc but this isn't spotting or anything, it's heavier than a usual period and has continued since yesterday. So heavy that the utrogestan wouldn't stay in earlier, it just slipped right out again. Tmi or what?!
So sorry - what a hellish day! You are definitely made of sterner stuff than I am!
If you can't ditch the wedding, try and take a day or two off. It sounds as though your life is busy and you may need a breather. I hope tomorrow brings a better, kinder day xx
Emotionally much better today and glad to have an answer (period still flowing strong) rather than having to keep waiting. Going ring clinic again and ask all my questions. And also ask why they didn't bother to ring me back on Wednesday.
Physically I'm really tired. Can you get night sweats on progesterone? As I'm waking up roasting at 3am every night like I did on the buserelin.
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I don't blame you for wanting to hibernate over the weekend!!! What a time. Clinic will probably say keep taking the pessaries until OTD. I'm so sorry this is happening. I so so wanted this to be your time. Thinking of you loads xx
So the bleeding was AF and right now i'm more mad than sad
One of those days...
Confused 
BPN what happens now?
