Update

[Hope76]

Thanks to everyone who sent me their supportive & helpful replies after my recent failed cycle.

So on Thursday at the meeting with our consultant I asked her to explain her reasoning behind prescribing Menopur. She said it has LH as well as FSH to concentrate on quality of eggs rather than quantity of poor quality. Her decision was based on findings from clinical studies based on thousands of women. She felt at my age Menopur was the best option however she was also shocked we had such a poor response. She wondered if we had administered the drug correctly. We definitely did but she is at a loss too as to why it went so badly wrong. She was very understanding and I do feel she had our best interests at heart. She totally gets why we we are confused as to why they didn’t keep me on Gonal F when I have previously responded to it so well. However she feels it would’ve made little difference due to my age and Menopur is best for highlighting what ‘quality’eggs you have left. Fact I had only 1 which wasn’t viable for transfer is a massive blow 😕

I told her my findings on here have been interesting and I don’t feel it’s a coincidence other women have responded better to gonal f than Menopur. She accepts that some women do respond better to certain drugs. They can only know by trying them. Which is all very well I guess if we were not paying so much money. None of this was explained during our consultation for this cycle. She actually told me then not to worry as not much change from 42 to 43.... I produced 5 eggs at 42.... again I have to think why change something that worked?

Going forward she feels for our own peace of mind she would happily allow us to choose between gonal f and Menopur . I did ask if she would consider mixing them as they do at other clinics. However it is their policy NOT to mix the two drugs... again quoting clinical studies.

My partner and I are taking the weekend to discuss and decide a way forward. We still feel a bit cheated out of this round especially as paid 4K . We were refunded £970.

We feel we owe it to ourselves to have at least one more round trying it with gonal f which gave us our beautiful boy 3 years ago.

I get the impression she doesn’t hold out much hope and am really still all over the place. She advises on starting again ASAP and not to delay. Again due to clinical studies my clinic don’t believe you need a 3 month break. This is a recent change to their policy. I don’t want to leave it too long but Defo need 2-3 months to get over this and try again when am ready to fight tooth and nail for my second child.

I feel bad feeling so upset as know many on here do not even have 1 child yet and I know how lucky we are already. Being 43 however my time is running out to complete my family..........

This journey is so damn tough but

A Given up battle is never won 😘

[Scarlett13]

Hi Hope, sounds like you were listened to and I’m glad you got a refund even if it could have been a bit more generous! Good luck with your decision and next steps xxx

[Hope76 in reply to Scarlett13]

Thanks, it’s a tough one because if the Menopur has worked miracles it would be a very different story. 🙏🏻 for gonal f working miracles as has done in the past x

[Novice_knitter]

Hey Hope, I’m glad they refunded some money back and it sounds like you got a thorough explanation of decision making behind the switch to menopur. Good luck with whatever you decide to do moving forwards, whatever you decide will be the best one for you I’m sure xxx

[Hope76 in reply to Novice_knitter]

Thanks, I do feel she should have explained this before this cycle and given us the choice then as we both feel we would’ve argued the point as quality never been a huge issue we would like to stick to gonal f. However if we had had the same outcome we would’ve been wondering what if with the Menopur. It’s such a tricky one.

Thanks am Defo not giving up watch this space x

[Novice_knitter in reply to Hope76]

Will keep a look out for what you do next - good luck - and enjoy your break between cycles xxx

[Noah1981]

No it’s not keep battling on what’s ment for you won’t pass you by good luck all you women on here sharing stories is given other women hope the success ones and sadly the not so successful but everyone in here wants the best for each other keep going my journey is only starting next Friday with my consultation and I have a 6yr old but this time round it just ain’t happening naturally so I’m hoping just a little help will give us our baby (Our first as a couple together gods luck hunny stay positive xxx

[Hope76 in reply to Noah1981]

Thanks so much. I will keep trying. Best of luck on your first go,am proof it can happen first time 😀. It’s my endless trying for my second child which is just turning into the emotional rollercoaster.....

[AnnieAnnie]

Im glad that you were able to get an explanation on the decisions that were made. I think if you're not immediately ready to try again and feel like a break is needed, then you should do what you feel is right and like you say come back fighting. Good luck with your decisions and make the most of your break xx

[Hope76 in reply to AnnieAnnie]

Thank you. If time was on my side I would take a long break. At moment am thinking egg collection July which would be 3 months. Starting meds May/June..... I don’t want to regret leaving it too long x

[Alpatchino]

Hey Hope. It is good you had this discussion with your doctor. It is true that you don't really know if getting more eggs with gonal f will also give you quality eggs, but at the same time menopur did not help with quality this time around. It is such a hard choice to have to make. It is a pity that they don't mix the two as that would give you more peace of mind. Good luck with your choice. Get some physical and psychological rest!!!

[Hope76 in reply to Alpatchino]

I know it is really difficult, my clinic are very black & white about everything. They won’t support any supplements either. This time I took DHEA and Ubiquinol and worst cycle ever scared they also made a difference. But my research said best take for quality. I am not ruling out a second opinion from another clinic but am very limited where I live next one is just so far away and daunting starting over with a new clinic x

[Alpatchino in reply to Hope76]

I am in similar situation. I also took q10 and dhea. My amh and afc both increased. I am certain that it was those that helped. So I was even more disappointed to have such low and slow response.

But for what is worth our bodies do like to troll us. Some times what did not work before might work the next time and vice verse. I do agree that with the info you have now gonal f looks like a better choice. I would go for another advice with your previous results and still stick with your clinic afterwards for convenience.

[Hope76 in reply to Alpatchino]

Thanks, I have heard DHEA can have a detrimental effect if you don’t get tested first. I did however read so many positive stories that I decided to take it. I will never know but going forward I would not take it again just in case. With my first IVF cycle I got my BFP and did nothing different so I may just go back to basics. My clinic only advise folic acid & a multi vitamin.

[ochy1]

I’m the same age as you I think. I’v found it seems to be a bit hit and miss at this age. I’m still trying to have a first. Best foot forward and good luck for next time!

[Hope76 in reply to ochy1]

Am 43, yep I am realistic in the sense it could be age factor. Just hard to accept when my ovarian reserve is excellent for my age and I had 6 follicles that just didn’t respond to menopur. I live in hope gonal f will work it’s magic as it did when I was 39. If not I will then accept I did everything I could. Wishing you every success in achieving your dream of having a child x

[Cinderella5]

Hey, Im glad you got a chance to discuss all of this with the consultant. I have hear that menopur is supposed to give us older ladies a better shot as if said in my last message but it clearly doesn't work for you. I'm a bit sad that they haven't given you more of a refund, seems awfully measly but I guess something is better than nothing. I felt DHEA helped with my embryo quality so might be worth considering?! Take it a day at a time. You may not feel ready to try again yet but it's surprising how quickly you can bounce back so take some time out and do some nice things and when you're ready come back fighting!!xx

[Hope76 in reply to Cinderella5]

Yes I had a feeling was the case, as the transfer didn’t go ahead we were due to get back £1000 however they deducted £30 ! This was due to them not putting cetrorelix on my protocol /invoice as wasn’t expected to need it. As I had one leading follicle they gave me 2 doses to ensure I didn’t ovulate. Anyway I just thought wow this is the icing on the cake. I have taken lots of notes and trust me if gonal f gives me a million eggs 🤞🏼 complaints will be made for more of a refund 😉

I did take 75mg of DHEA and 400mg of Ubiquinol daily for 3 months leading up to my cycle. However my clinic will absolutely not support my use of them..... quoting no evidence or case studies done to prove they make any difference. Of course I told them my sources but they are adamant makes no difference !

I ended up taking them anyway and not telling them. I studied various info online and read ‘it started with an egg’ and was satisfied had made the correct decision. However I now question this also after reading DHEA can have a detrimental effect if you don’t take the correct dose based on a dhea test. Am so confused by it all and afraid to say I probably won’t take them for my next cycle. I went to my own Doctor for advise,who had no knowledge of either supplement so am at a loss .

The one egg I did get did not go on to be a viable embryo so in my case it made no difference. x

[Olivia1980xxx]

Hi hope is good they done u some refund..but still is not about that . U done everything right from your side so they should do even more giving u best chances for positive outcome. Can u change the clinic? Can u get another opinion hun ? Xx

[Hope76 in reply to Olivia1980xxx]

Hi Olivia, thanks for the supportive message. I asked again what supplements to improve but they are very narrow minded and insists NOTHING will improve egg quality. Losing a bit of faith in them although felt the service was fantastic when I was a NHS patient it has drastically changed since changing to private.

The only other clinic is a really long drive However I have not ruled it out but having been with my clinic since 2014 it would be such a daunting thought to start over. I am considering enquiring though and asking their advise on supplements and if they mix gonal f/Menopur. That may be worth the extra travelling x

[Olivia1980xxx in reply to Hope76]

No I completely understand about the clinic but where I leave I have a fertility clinic 5 min drive from home which I had my first failed cycle . So We change the clinic and trust me the best thing we done . Everything was so different there and more “real” ...they listen and we felt more positive then before. We was self funded and they give us so much time to discuss all options and what they think is best for us. They really “listen “. The distance we being travelling to the clinic is 1h half one way ... U being with your clinic for so long ...they should know what best for u hun xx

[Hidden]

Hi hope, your positivity and determination through this shows how strong u r, and I really do wish u the best for ur next cycle I believe ur positive approach will get u the result u want, I could take a leaf out of ur book. Xx

[Hope76 in reply to Hidden]

Awwww thank you actually very emotional today, AF arrived and it just hit me. Then decided to turn it into a positive and said to my partner right we have a few months let’s get back on it the least stressful /expensive way & you never know. Mind you said that for years!

Coral... am so very sorry just seen your post !

Must be so disheartening for you being your 3rd time. I have had 2 BFNs they are just awful I feel your pain, no one knows the pain unless been through this it is so unfair. Your time will come though am sure.

Did your Clinic offer you an endometrial scratch ? I have heard that and embryo glue can be offered for implantation problems. Despite having 2 failed FETs however my clinic are reluctant to give me it as based on studies they claim makes no difference. However as I feel my next cycle may be our last I am going to look into these options more.

I fortunately have a 3 year old from my very first IVF cycle. Had another 3 transfers with only 1 more BFP which ended in MC and then my recent failed cycle. Am 43 & desperate to complete my family and stop IVF and get back to normal. My emotional rollercoaster started later and boy it’s a bloody bumpy ride .....

Good luck with future we can do this 👍