A wobble day 🙁

[Sweets1]

Afternoon ladies, how are you all doing?! Been checking in and out, but have t really been on here a lot! Just having one of those wobble days today. I just feel like I’m stuck in a bit of rut. It’s been a month since we chose new donor sperm, not heard anything from the clinic since. (I’m ringing in Monday) work is absolutely bonkers at the moment, and I feel like I’m closing myself in between my four house walls! The only place I feel any normality at the moment is when I go to the gym. Does anyone else feel like this process changes you? But I don’t want to change. Does that make sense? I have changed things in my diet for the sake of one day becoming a mum, and I wouldn’t change this- don’t get me wrong! This is my biggest priority! But I feel others are starting to notice that they think I’m different! (Nobody knows about our journey either, except immediate family) I kind of feel like I’m juggling a lot and my positivity has dropped a bit. And quite aware that I’m probably not making much sense at the moment. Sorry for the moans and long winded ness! Hope you all have a nice weekend xx

[Kyell2]

Ah it took us flipping ages to sort our donor sperm. Sooo frustrating so I totally get where you are coming from.

I really struggled with not telling anyone either as I too felt I was closing myself down emotionally so others wouldn’t guess anything was wrong.

If you are having a tough time could you maybe have a break from any diets so you can go out for a nice meal, and one glass of wine won’t harm you or your fertility if it helps you relax. Your mental health is as important as your physical health.

Sending hugs your way xx

[Sweets1]

I feel your pain this is our 2nd time of picking-that’s tough enough in its own!

I fear that close friends are starting to notice, 1 has actually asked me outright, but in a nice way, and I’m sure if I told her she would be fab, but I’m just not open to saying anything!

To be fair, it hasn’t really bothered me giving up alcohol, and my diet is pretty good anyway! We have a weekend away booked in a few week for our first wedding anniversary, so it’s something to look forward to and I think we both really need it.

Thank you xxx

[Kyell2 in reply to Sweets1]

Yeah we had to choose a second donor too because our first withdrew his consent. I thought it was the end of the world but I felt more positive about the second donor and his sample defrosted well and we had our IUI 11 days ago without issue.

I felt a fair amount of pressure to not tell anyone because it was male infertility and my OH doesn’t want many to know...but I couldn’t not tell my best friend and I wouldn’t cope at all without her to whinge at.

A weekend away sounds like a great plan so you can both relax xx

[Sweets1 in reply to Kyell2]

It’s good you felt more positive about the 2nd one, I think I do in a way! That’s great news! It’s hard not telling anyone sometimes, but I’m glad you have someone, it’s good to talk! My parents are great, they are away at the moment, so when they are back I can offload a bit!

Yes I’m looking forward to a little break xxx

[Ajplus1]

I’m sorry to hear you’re having such a rough time at the moment hun.

It’s definitely not an easy journey and you certainly do need to make sure you do something’s for you and for you own physical and mental well-being!

Good luck with clinic on Monday. Hopefully they will be able to give you some answers xx

[Sweets1]

Thank you! Yes fingers crossed, just one of those days, and if I’m honest I feel exhausted. I’m sure tomorrow will be a better day, thank you xxx

[WaltzingWonder]

Oh Sweets1 I'm sorry to hear you're having a bad day This whole process really does suck. We've not needed to have donor sperm/eggs yet but after 3 failed rounds of IVF it's taken its toll on us too. I feel like I'm in limbo, carrying on with life and making the most of it with holidays and hobbies and nice days out to see friends, but constantly in the back of my head, waiting to be a Mum. Sadly, I don't think there's any way around it, all any of us can do is keep going, one foot in front of the other and one day at a time. The mental strength for this is hard to find though some days hey? As a few people have said, are you able to plan a few things into your time. Maybe lunch with some friends, or a walk or a trip to the coast or something just so you can feel a little more normal. Does your clinic offer a counsellor too? You might find that really helpful even if you only have the one session or something? Hoping you're feeling a little perkier soon xx

[Sweets1]

Thank you, I do feel a bit better about things today. But, yes it’s sucks! Sorry for your failed 3 rounds. Yes, the clinic does offer a that, and I think the next time I’m there we will book an appointment. We are trying to find time for each other (DH and I) and just controlling it so that it’s not controlling us I guess!! Enjoy your Sunday xxx