Advice please - newborns in the workp... - Fertility Network UK

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Advice please - newborns in the workplace

Silvercloud88 profile image
13 Replies

Would value advice on how to manage the following scenario.

Colleague currently on maternity leave attended a work meeting today complete new infant (less than 6weeks). This meant breast feeding and changing etc during the meeting. Her attendance was not shared prior and it was not a meeting that I could excuse myself from. I wasn't prepared for this scenario.

They have already been in 2 X previously and was situations were I could avoid direct contact.

I found it challenging and later was very emotional. Just wondering if anyone has faced this ? Any tips ?

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Silvercloud88 profile image
Silvercloud88
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13 Replies
MissSaoPaulo profile image
MissSaoPaulo

All other issues aside - what sort of maternity leave is that where she comes to meetings?!?!?!

Kempton profile image
Kempton in reply to MissSaoPaulo

It's not that unusal to go in to work (perhaps not as early as 6 weeks though). I think they call it "keeping in touch days" or something.

Kari55 profile image
Kari55

I’ve had people coming to team lunch on maternity and breastfeeding but never to the meetings. It’s a bit strange that this allowed. My workplace have actually created a breastfeeding room for the mothers-employees. I think you just have to ignore it and let it go. Hopefully it’s a one off! X

AJJ123 profile image
AJJ123

My advice is to carry on completely as normal, if you can brace it ask for a hold.

It sounds like hell but honestly once you’ve done it you’ve reached a milestone. I did the same thing with a family member recently, then got pregnant and miscarried and it was awful but I carried on and you know what - I’m so much less bitter about the whole thing.

It totally sucks, this worked for me anyway xx

Elynn profile image
Elynn

Wow, that's a biggie. I'm with the others...brave it out. If you say anything it won't look good on you and that's the last thing you need. Your journey is stressful enough as it is. Sure you felt emotional, who wouldn't. Well done for getting through it.

Kat9lives profile image
Kat9lives

It sounds like she's been in on a KIT day (keep in touch) which you can do on your mat leave, although normally it wouldn't be with the baby. It's a hard one, but I'd brave it out if you can. Or try speaking to your manager about the situation if you can open up and explain how difficult it is for you. Maybe then you can be excused from the meeting for a "reason" that wouldn't draw attention. Good luck xx

Silvercloud88 profile image
Silvercloud88

Thanks - no not a KIT day. And not appropriate for a 4HR meeting 🙄

Very odd tbh as this hasn't happened at my workplace before and my colleague is well aware of my journey (5 cycles) and likely end of my journey.

Just know I would not have done that myself.

Novice_knitter profile image
Novice_knitter

Never heard of this situation & I wouldn’t like it either! Tough it out if you can. If your manager is aware of the situation then I would consider mentioning it and at least asking for warning or to just come for a section of the meeting that you need to be there for. I think if it was me I’d still want to be there for the whole meeting as I wouldn’t want this to affect my work (that’d probably upset me more). It’s -a completely personal choice though - you know what you need at this point better than anyone. Maybe just give it a bit of time weighing up your options before you do anything though. Good luck xxx

hifer profile image
hifer

Hi there,

Staff on maternity leave can have 10 Keeping In Touch days (KIT days) where they can come into the office and reacquaint themselves with the workplace. It is quite common place. Perhaps less common place to bring a baby to a KIT day though. Probably more common for staff to come to a lunch or just pop into the office with their baby etc. I agree slightly unusual to go to a meeting where they have to change their baby in that meeting. That would not be considered the norm in my office!

Stay strong. Hopefully there shouldn't be too more of those.xx

emmab178 profile image
emmab178

Breastfeeding mothers are protected under the equality at work act. You can't be discriminated upon by not being allowed to bring the baby if you are breastfeeding. You are allowed KIT days and possibly she has decided this meeting would be a good opportunity for her to stay in touch.

If its really bothering you perhaps a side conversation with her or your manager saying you dont think its appropriate to be changing and BF in the meeting. Again the act says that employers have to provide a room for breastfeeding mothers so there should be a space allocated for it in the building.

Personally i think it is crazy to expose newborns to office germs. Cough and splutter around her and maybe she will decide its not the best environment to be in with such a young baby.

On the other hand she is amazing to be up and around. I didn't go out solo for 3 months!

Strawberry17 profile image
Strawberry17

I’ve had a similar situation. I wish I could give good advice but I don’t know I handled it very well. The first time I booked the afternoon off work, and the other two times I didn’t know she was coming in so I literally just stared at my computer and ignored her. Then I made an excuse to pop out the office for a bit. I wish I could have handled it better but it’s so frickin hard x

Silvercloud88 profile image
Silvercloud88

Thank you for taking the time to respond. Unfortunately it was not a KIT day. We were not aware that she would be attending with the baby.

We have a BF room which is readily available and changing facilities available nearby.

Personally I think given the individual knows my IVF journey (no baby after 5cycles) she could have certainly been more considerate.

There was no real need for them to be at this meeting tbh....especially only 5 weeks into mat leave

Nodds profile image
Nodds

You did exceptionally well dealing with it, and you should be very proud of yourself. That doesn’t change how you’re feeling though, and it’s completely normal (so don’t beat yourself up about it).

I’ve been a similar situation, to avoid a repeat performance I requested that children should not be allowed in the office (health & safety etc). This was at a large national building society, and they have now adopted this protocol across all sites. I felt a bit of a party-pooper campaigning for it, but it’s saved my (and probably countless other women) sanity! And with this policy in place you don’t have to make excuses or feel the need to explain yourself.

You’re a much better person than me - there is no way that I could perform at the high standard expected of me with a baby being breastfed during a meeting... I just don’t want to see my colleague’s boob!! 🤮 😝

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