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⚠️ Sensitive topic ⚠️ Anxiety getting the better of me after bfp 🥴

I’m ok. I think. At least that’s what I tell people. Except I’m really quite anxious so far as to whether everything is ok in there. My “sickness” seems to be intermittent. Is that normal? To have morning sickness/nausea that is there one day and not the next?

I’ve not had so much af type cramping this time as with my other pregnancies. Mild cramps and twinges here and there every day but nothing as scary as the times when I was asking others if it was normal to feel like you’re going to get af all the time. I felt like I was going to get af in the tww and a few days after my bfp but like I said, it’s the odd cramp and twinge these days.... I’ve had no spotting or bleeding of any kind (touch wood) so far 🤞🏻

My boobs are pretty consistent in how they are feeling; they’re heavy, full, I’m super aware of them all the time, and when I take off my bra every night there’s a period of readjustment where they physically hurt for a few minutes before settling down again. Sometimes they give me discomfort turning over in the night.

I’m tired. More than usual. I’m napping in the afternoon but if I don’t then I really struggle to stay awake past 9pm.

Anyway I took another clearblue weeks indicator this morning. I read all sorts of scares (bloody google!!) about the weeks indicator thing and still thought if “I don’t get my 3+ weeks I’m going to have a freaking meltdown!” Thankfully I got my 3+ weeks which is good because that’s equivalent to 5+ weeks in pregnancy (and the highest the weeks go) and I’m supposed to be 5+4 ish (ivf calculator). But trying not to get too hung up on testing. So on the one hand I can’t wait for my viability scan on the 3rd of January (still about two weeks to go..............) and on the other hand I’m absolutely dreading it!! 😔 Any advice or reassurance greatly received atm. Being pregnant after ivf and three previous miscarriages is hard. Not in a “I’m ungrateful hard” because I’m EXTREMELY grateful. But being in this pregnant lady’s head right now isn’t easy.🥴 I don’t even know if I should use the word “pregnant” and I’m thinking I should just stick to saying “pupo” I didn’t want to write this post because I didn’t want to be having these thoughts and feelings. I wanted to just be able to enjoy it.

xx

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Hey there

Totally normal, even the mental response. Absolutely normal to have symptoms come and go as our bodies produce, become used to and produce again more and more hormones. Nornal to feel tired, have sore boobs and feel icky. Normal to feel fine one day and "lazy and greedy" the next, then floored the day after.

Have you thought about going for am earlier scan somewhere? X

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Thanks for trying to reassure me esp with the WhatsApp messages. You’re a star ⭐️ 😘 xx

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I feel exactly the same! Having had two ectopics previously and a BFN on my last cycle the fear of being potentially pregnant (as I won't class myself as properly pregnant until the viability scan) is so scary and I feel it can be taken from me at any time!

My nausea is on/off and normally bought on by certain smells. I felt really nauseous yesterday and today I felt much better but then I worried that I wasn't feeling as nauseous today!

My boobs are full and definitely feel it when the bra comes off and they have become veiny. I've had the odd twinge too but feeling something scares me and so does feeling nothing! It's a terrifyinh time but I have my fingers crossed everything will be okay 🤞. You are not alone in how you feel xx

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How you felt about your lack of nausea today is how I felt. I’m sorry you’re not enjoying this time either, it sucks to not be able to “let go” and just be bloody happy but I’m glad it isn’t just me xx

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I know and whilst I'm genuinely happy I got that BFP I am so anxious about everything it does take the shine off. Just make sure you take care of yourself xx

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I think it would be impossible not to feel anxious in your position.

Everything you're describing sounds totally fine, symptoms do come and go, and I know you would be the first to reassure someone else that it didn't sound like anything to worry about. So, think about what you would say to someone else who had written this post, then try to apply it to yourself.

Hope the 2 weeks until your scan fly by and you manage to enjoy the holidays as much as possible xxx

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I’ll be 7 and a half weeks by my scan! Don’t think I’ve ever waited so long after a bfp 🥴 I know what I’d be saying to others but it’s not so easy to take your own advice lol 😂 xx

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Hi Tugsgirl totally understand how you are feeling and, after everything you have been through, who can blame you for being anxious? No matter how much you tell yourself that you ‘should’ be enjoying this time and you ‘should’ just relax, it’s not as simple as that unfortunately. I drove myself nuts during my pregnancy... I would squeeze my boobs in the car on my way to work, then on the way back and convince myself they weren’t as sore as they had been!! One day I would feel really sick, the next I’d feel fine and that would be it... I would send myself into oblivion with worry. I’d have cramps some days and be convinced AF was on her way, then it would subside. I was worried if I was cramping and worried if I wasn’t cramping. Nothing my body did reassured me. The only advice I have is to accept that you are going to feel worried and anxious just now and that is ok. Try to find a way to release your worries, whether that’s chatting to your husband or a friend, writing them down, saying them aloud to yourself, going for a walk in the fresh air when you feel them overwhelming you - whatever works for you. I really hope the next two weeks pass as quickly as possible for you and you get the care you so deserve from your clinic and consultant. 💕

P.S. I repeated these to myself whenever things got a bit too much...

💕 ‘I can get pregnant, I can stay pregnant’

💕 ‘my body knows how to grow this baby’

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I’ve been sleeping with my bra off to register how my boobs are feeling on purpose. I know if I wear it to bed they’ll probably be less tender/sensitive and when they hurt or feel uncomfortable it’s comforting. And yes, I’ve pushed on them too. Sore boobs and tiredness are the only consistent symptoms I have right now.

I’ll try the mantras. I’m really trying to believe this is our time xx

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I’m totally with you on this!! I’ve had the odd wave of feeling sick in the morning but never been sick!! I’ve tested everyday since Sunday and my tests seem stronger!! I still have spotting on and off which stresses me out but the clinic said it’s totally normal!! I’ve had cramps on and off and headaches most days!

As I had bleeding I had to wait till tomorrow and call them back, so we should have a date for our scan tomorrow!! The one they originally gave us was the 15th of jan!! But that seems ages away xx

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It’s comforting that you know how I feel physically and mentally. Again though, I’m sorry that you do. It isn’t fair. I’m sorry you’re still spotting too, not that it’s a sign of anything being wrong but I can understand it giving you more stress xx

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It’s a stressful time!! I don’t think however many times I test it will sink in!! I feel like I’m just waiting for something to go wrong!! Have you got your scan date xxx

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January 3rd! I should be 7 and a half weeks! My first clinic scan the first time was 6+3 and with the next bfp it was 6+6 so I’ve never waited so long for a viability scan but because of Christmas they can’t get me in sooner xx

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Ah ok, they’ve given me the 15th but that might change tomorrow when I ring them xx

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How far will you be then? xx

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Around 8 weeks then I think if I’m working it out right xx

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Try an online calculator if you haven’t already.. 8 weeks, that’s harsh, it’s like being in limbo 😔 xx

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Just done it, so today I’m 4 weeks and 5 days xx

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It’s just a rough guide as I hear dates change all the time throughout your pregnancy depending on the size of the baby etc.. But it helps to know roughly where you’re at xx

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It does thank you!! Xx

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Sweetheart you are more than normal and if your not normal then I am not either!

I could have written your post at your stage and now I could write the post with another amount of worries at my stage.

I thought I would love to enjoy being pregnant and I do but would love to love it relaxed.

I can’t tell you to relax because you won’t just try to remember symptoms will come and go and get less as time goes on. Everything sounds really fabulous so far.

Good luck at the scan xxx

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Really? It’s just that I’m not even 6 weeks yet. I just thought that symptoms would yo-yo much later on than this.. I’m glad to hear you think it all sounds normal though 🤞🏻xx

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Oh Tugsgirl I could have written this post myself !!! These past 2 and a half weeks since getting my BFP have been the longest of my life. Somehow I've managed to convince myself there is all sorts wrong, im especially worried about it being ectopic as a close friend had one, I've been over analysing every little pain, niggle or lack of and googling everything. I've felt nauseous for the last week which I'm hoping is a good sign and my boobs have become heavy, swollen and sore but I worry each day they they aren't as sore as yesterday!!! I took a cheap test this weekend as whilst the line was still good it wasn't as dark as the clear blue which worried me a bit too so I decided to stay away from testing and just wait for scan. No spotting or bleeding thankfully.

I have my visability scan tomorrow I'm excited but nervous just hoping we get some reassurance I've been counting down the sleeps only 1 to go then if we get good news we've decided to share the news and our ICSI journey with family and close friends as we thought it would be nice for Christmas. Hoping the next couple of weeks go quickly for you and you can enjoy Christmas 😊xxx

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Wishing you so much luck for tomorrow! I hope afterwards you’ll be able to relax and enjoy Christmas before any more worrying sets in.

About 3-4 days ago I woke up with a really stiff achy collarbone and by the end of the day I was googling ectopic pregnancy because I’ve heard about shoulder pain being a sign. Logically I knew I’d slept funny and after two days it’s completely gone 🤦🏻‍♀️

Keep us posted tomorrow xx

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I will do thank you 13 and a half hours to go and counting !!!

I had shoulder pain on Saturday and instead of thinking logically I got in a right state thinking it was a sign of ectopic pregnancy but after speaking with my hairdresser who guessed I might be pregnant after changing my appt to cut and blow instead of colour put my mind at rest because she'd had an ectopic and explained shoulder pain was a sign of internal bleeding and I would have been really ill if it was that!!! I felt a bit of a fool afterwards lol xx

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Yea that’s what I read too. Glad it’s not just me who jumps to such extreme thoughts though lol xx

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Aww tugsgirl

Completely understandable given your journey so far.

I keep questioning every twinge and cramp too during tww.

All of your symptoms sound wonderfully reassuring and good for pregnancy !! The nausea, boobs, napping - all norm symptoms

The Test shows 3+ weeks and still positive

No bleeding

So with all due respect, hate to tell you it- you're just preggers lol.

Can imagine the wait till the scan is going to be agonising but you really don't have any worrying symptoms so try to enjoy the holidays as much as you can.

My husband is still threatening to divorce me if I test early so it's killing me lol. But I'm keeping myself distracted

In terms of general anxiety magnesium works brilliantly and safe for pregnancy

It's just a mineral - u can either buy as a spray and rub into skin.(especially if you get cramps and restless.legsbduring pregnancy )

You can buy tablets to take or you can have bath salts (either foot or whole body) - similar to epsom salts.

It's brilliant for calling nerves and muscles and anxiety. It's helped me and countless others

There was a post earlier on GAD you can search where little bluebell gives good advice on mindfulness techniques too

On another note- you may just want to take a break from the forum. Sometimes as supportive as everyone on here is to be consumed with daily posts and messages etc can overwhelm us and not allow us to be distracted elsewhere (without permanent reminder)

Of course don't stay away forever ! Xx

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What is GAD? I’m not familiar with it...

Thanks for the tip re; magnesium. I’ll definitely be looking into that..

I have thought about taking a break from here.. the bad news we often see on here affects me more than ever when I’m pregnant, it’s hard not to be affected by it sometimes xx

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Absolutely @break. My hubby's begging me to do the same but he doesn't let me talk about any worries I have so I still need this outlet.

I've been so emotionally tied in to all the good and bad news !

Def try the magensium - another pregnant friend of mine was getting restless legs during pregnancy and it worked wonders. Would help with stiff joints etc too

GAD is general anxiety disorder.

You may need to increase your vit D through winter too - but magnesium is vital for correct vit D utilisation so it should help lift overall depression and anxiety too xxx

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All I’m on supplements wise is strong vitamin D and prescription strength folic acid, that’s all the clinic say I need. But yes, I’ll definitely look at magnesium xx

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Hey Tugsgirl, yes it’s real you are pregnant and it’s ok to feel the way you do😀. I’ve also tested myself till at least scan day with my son 4yrs ago, that was such a reassurance to me! Also found that this testing activity to be really sweet exercise😁 Ive stopped testing this time, haven’t done even digital this time..

I too feel anxious as my miscarriage was just a year ago, but as for now I’ve passed the time when I got last time first symptoms things didn’t progress the right way, so this build my confidence, I’m also taking days as they go.

I don’t have really nausea only my boobs hurting, i have occasional cramps and occasional lower back pain, and can have headaches often whatever this means.

Let’s enjoy the days as they come, it’s not long to your scan day on 3rd.

Ps are you telling anyone else from your family good news? My hubby wanted to do so on Christmas Eve but I’m still deliberating if not too early ...

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It is early but I don’t believe in tempting fate by telling people. Superstition doesn’t cause miscarriages after all... so if you want to shout it from the rooftops then go for it!

I’m trying not to get hung up on the tests because my last two miscarriages were mmcs so I kept testing positive and had no idea anything was wrong with either of them. I know it’s not long until the 3rd in reality but it’s like time is standing still haha xx

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Oh Tugs! I completely understand your post, and for me the terror always starts after a bfp which is completely normal given what’s happened in your past.

I had to have CBT as a result of MMC’s and the one thing it taught me is to think....’that was then, this is now’ ‘that pregnancy was different to this one’ and I use that way of thinking in every day to day life. Your anxiety will never fully disappear until your little one is in your arms, but try and keep a positive mindset, easier said then done, but maybe try starting something like crochet, it’s helped me massively with anxiety as stops my mind over thinking and love the creations I’ve made. 3rd will seem like ages away for you, but hopefully Xmas will pass some of that time quickly for you. Sending a huge hug of support xx

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I’m trying to keep as busy and distracted as I possibly can, when I’m not feeling too tired that is, lol, but crocheting is an idea.. I used to crochet blankets years ago.. maybe I’ll have another go xx

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Even better if you know how to do it 😊 get making some baby blankets 😊😊xx

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I’d be worried they’ll get their little fingers stuck haha 🤦🏻‍♀️ xx

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🤣🤣xx

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I know exactly how you feel, I was there too. My advice is not to overthink it - if you can help it. What will be will be and right now all I can say to you is to just sit back and continue with life.

With my son my boobs hurt all the time, just as you’ve said up until about 9/10 weeks. Then they just got humongous.

With my mc I felt nothing at all which gave me alarm bells - was totally different and I felt it in my gut.

Congrats to you and merry Christmas - here’s to a healthy and happy 9 months. (Fingers crossed I get my miracle soon too 😉) xx

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🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻 xx

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I know how you feel. It’s perfectly normal. I was a nervous wreck until I had a 12 week scan in the end and only then did I really start to relax and start to feel like this one might go my way. I would say to try and relax but I know just how hard it is. Try and keep yourself distracted, ho-Reilly you have some exciting plans over Christmas and before you know it it will be the 3rd jan. xx

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I love Christmas. I’m so looking forward to it. I’m hoping it will be a good distraction. It’s just hard because it feels like time is standing still at the moment xx

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I know how you feel. I was the same when I was waiting for my viability scan and my 12 week scan and I think I will feel like it on my 20 week scan on the 4th jan especially as I’ve had some spotting this week. I’ve learnt that I probably ever won’t fully relax into it and just try to take each day as it comes. I really hope everything will be fine for you.

I’m hoping that Christmas provides us both with some well needed distractions! Xx

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I have never been in your situation but I always think that if I were to get pregnant after IVF I would be very anxious too. I can see a lot of ladies have given you some great advice. What helps me with anxiety is pausing and concentrating on your breathing throughout the day whenever I remember. Best wishes xx

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That’s worth a try thank you. I hope you get your bfp soon xx

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Sorry ur feeling like this, but it sounds perfectly normal, I'm sure I would be no different. I hope ur scan date comes around quickly and ur able to start enjoying ur pregnancy, hope ur able to enjoy Christmas xox

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Thank you. I hope you have a nice Christmas xx

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I am in the same situation. I still dont even have a date for my scan which is annoying me as I cant look at my calendar and score a date off. It's taken me so long to get a bfp that I'm worried about everything. I think everything that can go wrong will and I cant seem to shake it . I thought I would be extremely happy but somehow sadness overcomes me. I'm 5 weeks today and just trying to get passed each day at the moment until my viability scan hoping and praying that my wee emby is developing how it should. So u feel your pain at this time! Xox

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It’s such a difficult time mentally isn’t it? Wishing you all the best for your viability scan too xx

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It’s absolutely normal to have symptoms come and go and some women don’t have any symptoms at all at any part of their pregnancy. Saying “don’t worry” is like saying “don’t breathe “. It’s impossible my love and unfortunately you will be like this for the next few months, again normal. We have been at the hospital today begging for them to induce Marie next week as we are still scared to death. Just rest assured that we are all here for you for reassurance at any time . Let’s face it, we are like a family because we all understand exactly what we are all going through and try to be supportive. Sending cyber hugs and kisses your way xxxxxxx

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Lovely put Gilly!!💗 I wasn't sure what to say as I can't provide any constructive advice....cant really say anything apart from I'm thinking of you & willing your little one on Tugsgirl & hubby! Good luck to you & your daughter too Gilly!xx

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Thankyou my love. Hope you are keeping well xxx

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Thanks lovely lady xx

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Thank you! I hope they give in and see sense, let Marie have an induction. And like I said before, good luck to you all xx

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They are inducing her on her due date. Hope you feel better soon xx

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Hey lovely, just wanted to say that what you’re feeling is totally normal. Each day is a blessing as baby is getting stronger each day.... you will feel the anxiety until you’re holding your baby and then worry again for a life time! As you pass each mile stone the anxiety will settle but will not go away completely... I’m 26 weeks 2 Moro and not a day go passes that I don’t worry, think the worse and honestly can’t believe that this is my bfp... so all I can say is just take each day as it comes.. try not to monitor everything..... I had terrible sickness and my friend didn’t have anything apart from feeling nauseous so everyone really is different.....but what you’re going through is totally normal and wouldn’t it be strange if we didn’t worry? Wishing you all the very best and just think this Christmas you are pregnant and what a wonderful end to the year... I know baba isn’t here yet but let’a try to celebrate each moment.... and you are not pupo.... YOU ARE PREGNANT 😊😊💕😘

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Even seeing it in black and white or on two lines it’s still hard to believe. Thank you though for your lovely message xx

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I know how u feel.... I remember that feeling and even after getting those 2 lines buying test after test just to see it’a real... takes a while to sink in...❤️

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Hey Tugsgirl I was exactly the same symptoms coming and going spent half my pregnancy at hospital. So worth it tho. It will get easier hun I promise you that. This is your time you just remembered that. X

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Oh the irony, after saying I’d barely had any af type cramping tonight I have, it’s mild but definitely there. You freak out when you do and freak out when you don’t 🤦🏻‍♀️ You’re right, I know it will all be worth it in the end xx

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How u feeling today hope the cramping has stopped. Xx

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Yea it was only mild, I was actually worried by it’s absence. I was sick this morning. Had some sharp quick ovary cramps today though but just keep telling myself it’s all normal 🤞🏻 xx

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Vicky you are bound to be anxious, every minute of every day you are consumed with thoughts and questions. Also because of the journey you have been on, it’s normal to feel that way. Every day is another day closer. I went through a very tough journey with my Daughter as you know, and I still cannot believe how lucky we are, her twins are now 10 months old. Miracles do happen and I pray this is your miracle, keep strong and at the same time take things as easy as you can. This is a very anxious time, deep breaths Special Lady, sending gentle hugs your way xx

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That’s is so so nice you’ve almost had me in tears. I’m quite emotional at the moment. Thank you xx

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It's totally natural to feel this anxiety after experiences of loss and ivf but it doesn't make it any easier to know that when we're in the midst of it, does it?

I've been a nervous wreck more than I've felt free to relax and just experience the joy I "should" be feeling as a massively grateful to finally be pregnant woman. I'm feeling ya and it's cruel!

The on-off symptoms are totally anxiety inducing, I've had them too and yearn for a vomit!😂. I too prod my boobs to assess their soreness and take my bra off for bed to have the comforting sore boob symptom in all its squished glory. It seems from all I've obsessively read though, that on-off symptoms are quite normal but right now I feel that only a baby in our arms is going to make us truly lose the anxiety and believe!

I think we've gotta just roll with the fact that we'll have good days and bad and try to absorb every bit of good from the good days.

I hope the wait for your scan goes quickly and you're able to find some easement from these feelings!

I have my 12 week scan tomorrow, have had 2 good days allowing myself to believe and then had some blood this evening which sent me into a panic frenzy so now I'm lying down, resting and hoping for the best.

Hope you get a good night's sleep snd feel a bit better tomorrow! Xx

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Thought I was losing the plot with the bra/bed test! Glad it isn’t just me!

Wishing you lots and lots of luck for tomorrow lovely lady xx

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I know the feeling! The things er do ey but for a bit of reassurance and comfort it's all worth it!

Thank you hun. I'm on my way to the hospital now.

How're you feeling today? Xx 😊

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I’ve been sick this morning so I’m celebrating it! It may or may not make an appearance again tomorrow but I find it massively comforting at this stage.

Lots and lots of luck to you this morning xx

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It's good that you decided to share your feelings over here. I can understand how anxiety can make things very difficult. This is because you start to self-doubt everything. However, I would say that don't be stressed! It's not good for the baby. Just know that everyone has different symptoms and everyone is different. Good luck to you! I hope everything goes smoothly.

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I just had to share it somewhere with people who know how incredibly hard this journey is. My boss told me to “stop worrying and enjoy Christmas” yesterday. Yea. Ok then. I’ll stop worrying just because you told me to! Some people have no idea what we go through. Thank you for your message xx

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LOL....now why didnt you think of that LOL. Dear Lord give us strength!!!!

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Clueless aren’t they? Despite knowing what I’ve been through I’m “not to worry” 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 xx

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You know how people don't really understand until they themselves have gone through the struggle and the pain.

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My midwife helped me with my fear of disappearing symptoms (constantly squeezing my boobs, scared if I managed to enjoy a meal etc) by reminding me that the tiredness is a major symptom- if you’re still tired then you’re probably still pregnant. I got more anxious in the run up to each scan until the 20 week scan came back ok, but I kept reminding myself that worrying wouldn’t make baby any safer. In the end I had to make a really deliberate decision not to let myself ruin pregnancy by worrying about it- I didn’t think that not believing in it would make it any easier to lose it so I decided to believe in my baby unless proven otherwise. I would say I managed this about 50%!

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I do have moments where I believe, where I’m truly positive, but they’re fleeting. I’ll just have to try harder xx

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How your feeling is completely normal lovely I remember I felt exactly the same throughout my pregnancy. These early weeks are the hardest as you don’t feel like your pregnant yet your body is already changing and symptoms are starting to show. My symptoms used to come and go some days I didn’t feel pregnant at all yet other days I’d feel sick etc I was a mad woman and tested everyday for about two weeks in the end I had to stop myself as it was getting silly 😂

Hard as it is try and stay relaxed - YOU ARE PREGNANT hopefully Christmas will be a good distraction and before you know it it’ll be time for your scan. You know where I am if you want to message me anytime xxxx sending big hugs xxx

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Thank you for your support. I actually do feel a bit better now reading some of these replies, replies like yours especially.. I’m dreading my scan in many ways, I know I’ll be a nervous wreck xx

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I 100% understand how your feeling I’m only 2 days into having a BFP and I’m over analysing every sensation in my body! Especially my boobs I’m an obsessive boob poker!! When I miscarried last year my sore boobs disappeared so I’m already super boob paranoid!

With my midwife hat on symptoms vary massively from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy. Lots of woman feel completely different symptoms from one pregnancy to the next. Women come to me feeling absolutely nothing to horrendous to everything in between. It’s also completely normal for symptoms to fluctuate alongside the hormone levels. It is completely understandable to feel anxious especially with your past experiences. It’s such a magical and important moment that means absolutely everything to you and you’ve been through so much to get you here! I would say that keep a close eye on yourself and if these anxieties escalate out of control please make sure you talk to your GP or a midwife.

I feel like a total fraud at the moment and need to remember my own advice and reassurance I give to women everyday!

Wishing you all the best for your pregnancy and hope that scan date hurries up! Mine is on the 8th so I’m just behind you.

Good luck hun you and your baby have got this! 💜💜💜💜

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I said this yesterday, it’s easier to give advice than to take your own. Thank you for the reassurance though. I’m thinking of ringing Tommy’s for a chat re; my anxiety. That’s one of the reasons they’re there. I also have my first scan with Tommy’s booked in the 8th of January ( if all is well on the 3rd that is 🤞🏻) as they’re going to give me weekly scans.. Good luck to you too and I hope you have a Merry Christmas xx

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Your pregnant until they tell you your not lol and even then you still might be! It is hard not to think the worst and worry especially when it’s been a journey to get where you are. Just have to have patience and be positive. X

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Yes it is hard but thank you. You must be in some kinda limbo yourself and you’re having to hang in there. I’m going to try to take the positivity up a notch xx

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We are, I’m still trying to figure how it’s possible but at least I’m not out yet we still have a tiny chance and if not well I’ve already come to terms with us miscarrying again.

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I’ve actually got over my scan fear too I felt I’d be really upset just going in. But I was ok I didn’t even cry this time when they told us is bad news I mean I cried the whole afternoon the day before because I was spotting.

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Fingers crossed for you this time xx

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After everything you’ve been though it’s totally normal you’re feeling like you are. I’d be surprised if you weren’t. In my view the wait from the 2ww to the viability scan is far worse than the 2ww itself. I only had one chemical so nothing like you’ve been through and I found it torture!

Hopefully the other ladies have already given you some reassurance but in my experience the coming and going of symptoms is entirely normal. With my first pregnancy I only had mild morning sickness and that built up slowly over time. Some days I’d get it and others I’d feel totally normal. I was more like 8 or 9 weeks before I felt sick every day. With this second one, I had it much worse and even then it was probably 6 or 7 weeks before I was starting to feel sick most of the day every day. Other symptoms also came and went and it is scary when that happens.

At the moment the best sign you have is your clear blue test which says 3+ and is exactly where it should be right now. Your Hcg levels must have increased significantly for it to get to that point. You could still get a private blood test to see your levels are continuing to double as additional reassurance.

In terms of a scan, my advice to you would be to hold off if you can. At your stage you are very unlikely to see a heartbeat yet and it can just cause more worry to go for a scan and not see anything. I know some ladies see one at 6 weeks, which is now only a few days away for you, but I think 7 weeks is the point at which you should definitely be able to see one. Try and keep yourself busy over Christmas and this period flies so fast it will be 3rd Jan before you know it x

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Thanks for this, it’s reassuring to hear of symptoms being sporadic. I have been sick this morning which I’m pleased about (not that I’m some kinda sadist or anything) so if I don’t feel so nauseous again tomorrow morning (much like yesterday morning) I’ll try not to panic so much xx

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I am in agreement with others. The way you are feeling is normal. You’ve been on a long & tiring journey.

Your symptoms will come & go. This is very normal. The body gets used to the pregnancy hormone & only when your pregnancy hormone surges will you get symptoms. As long as they come back in early pregnancy & don’t disappear completely don’t worry. Between 8-12 weeks symptoms will ease off. Sounds like you have quite a few symptoms which suggests everything is going although not every women will have symptoms & baby is fine.

I had no sickness ( I was lucky) just breast pain, feeling bloated with trapped air, constipation ( watch out for that one way lots fibre rich food) & tiredness. Tiredness should make that exhaustion!!! Taking naps in the day & going to bed early which is what you are doing are the only thing you can, keep listening to what your body is telling you to do. The good news is it will ease in the second trimester- mine went last week at 15 weeks. As for the boob pain- recommend you treat yourself to a well supporting bra & if you can get measured up should help 👍

If you are really struggling with the anxiety then speak to your GP don’t suffer in silence. Of course we are all here for you here. Pregnancy hormone don’t help either with emotions running high.

I still get anxiety around this pregnancy & that’s after 2 scans & hearing the heartbeat. Sometimes family have asked why I’m not more happy as I’ve got everything I’ve ever wanted for such a longtime. I don’t think others understand how difficult it is not to worry so much when we’ve been through so much to get here.

Scans & hearing baby’s heartbeat definitely help & my anxiety is getting a bit better especially as I can feel baby moving ( like little tiny flutters) Some days I do feel alone ; watching my closed ones near me getting so excited about my baby & wishing I could feel as excited as they are without worrying .

Eh we are Mums we will always worry!!!

I am sure once you have the scan & see all is well you will start to feel better. My best advice to the early weeks is to take it one day at a time; today I am pregnant tomorrow I might not be but today I am & will feel happy about being pregnant.

No one here thinks you are ungrateful okay? I’m finding it hard too not alone xoxo

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Exactly Jess, I’m pupo.

I was sick again this morning which has given me some comfort. I don’t tend to suffer constipation, ever, I’m the opposite and my stomach is acting up a bit, a flare up so to speak. Sometimes I think I may have ibs, undiagnosed, but my Mum suffers with it and I’m so similar in that department. Thanks for all the tips xx

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Definitely PUPO 😍 The fact your test showed a higher reading & your symptoms are strong is proof all is well. This is your rainbow baby 💗xoxo

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It is such a nerve wracking time. I refused to tell anyone until 12 weeks and actually didn't tell most people until I was 20 weeks. I had no symptoms, no sickness or nausea so it was hard to get my head around. It sounds silly but envigasing holding my baby in my arms really helped me remain positive. I think that did me the world of good. Although I lived from scan to scan. I really hope that you start to feel a bit better. You truly deserve this. Lots of positive vibes to you xxx

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Thank you. It’s comforting to know what I’m feeling is normal to some extent xx

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Totally with you and I am sure it’s normal but sadly not sure there is a magic cure!

I was awake for three hours last night because my boobs were less sore and I felt like I had pulled a muscle in my uterus so was convinced I was losing my poppy seed - woken up this morning and boobs are sore again and pain seems to have gone. Now got a bit of nausea but now worried that it’s too early for nausea!! I can’t win!

I think we have to adopt the hurdle race analogy, 6 week scan then I am going to book an extra one at 9 weeks, then 12 weeks then see what happens from there

I swear the 2ww to first scan is slower than the initial 2ww!

I am sure everything is absolutely fine and even if symptoms disappeared it wouldn’t necessarily be bad news 😘. Keep going! xx

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Mines more like a 3+ week wait 😬 I’d had my scans already on my last bfps by 6-7 weeks but this time I’m having to wait until 7 and a half weeks.

I hope you’re more relaxed today. It’s horrible isn’t it? I was sick this morning so I’m kinda happier than I was yesterday xx

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Aw man. I can imagine your worry after everything you’ve been through. I had no pregnancy symptoms at all apart from sore boobs and tiredness so I spent the first 7 weeks driving myself crazy thinking it wasn’t going to be there. Then I spent the next few weeks worrying intil 12 weeks, then up to my 20 weeks scan. I’m 21 and still worrying like hell. I still can’t get my head around that it’s happening and everything is okay so far. I have no advice for you apart from not looking further ahead than the next week and repeating ‘another week over and I’m still pregnant’. Xx

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Actually quite good advice except I think I’ll change it to “another day over and I’m still pregnant” xx

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Ha ha, yes days work as well. Seriously got everything crossed for you and I believe it’s your time😘xx

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Wish I could believe it haha 😂😬🥴 xx

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I haven’t been through any where near what you have been through throughout your journey but I still found anxiety so difficult throughout pregnancy. I worried about lack of symptoms and fluctuating symptoms as well. Anxiety never fully left me my entire pregnancy (although I absolutely loved being pregnant as well) and as crazy as it sounds until my baby was in my arms I didn’t fully believe he was real. I think something that really helped me cope and kept me going was leaning how to deal with my anxiety and instead of constantly telling myself off for having it, I leant to accept it was natural and healthy. In the third trimester I read a book called “Dare” which teaches how to let your anxiety in instead of trying to suppress it. Basically you welcome the anxious thoughts and answer them. Then move with your anxiety into a positive place e.g. saying to yourself “I’m anxious because I’m pregnant which is a natural, normal and exciting feeling. If I wasn’t pregnant I wouldn’t be feeling anxious so I should keep hold of this feeling and enjoy it” It’s hard to explain and totally not for everyone but it helped me so thought I’d mention it. Xxx

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Very interesting way of looking at it. I know we’re only anxious because we want it so much. My history doesn’t help. Maybe I’ll never really believe it’s happening unless I end up with my baby in my arms. Hope I get to enjoy some of being pupo though xx

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How wonderful! I haven’t been on here for a little while and am so pleased to read this - congratulations! What you have described sounds like a completely normal and healthy pregnancy. I remember agonising and worrying about everything after I got pregnant following IVF. Each scan is a milestone though, so will hopefully get you through it.

Completely normal for symptoms to come and go in the early days. I was like that with Sonny and he is snuggling into me as I write this. Tbh, I didn’t really relax and enjoy the pregnancy until I got to about 20 weeks. I knew he was ‘developed’ by then and I could feel him moving around which helped enormously. GOOD LUCK!!! I will keep everything crossed for you xxx

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And I appreciate that thank you. It’s reassuring to see so many ladies tell me all of my “symptoms” sound normal, even if the nausea is a bit sporadic xx

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I know exactly how you feel- I was so anxious that I had intermittent nausea, and I was never actually sick- but like you had the most painful boobs I've ever had in my life and was lucky if I made it past 9pm before passing out for the night :-). I was particularly worried as my mum had said she was violently ill when she was pregnant with me and my sister, and pretty much everyone I spoke to told me about awful morning sickness which just wasn't happening to me!

We had our 12 week scan a couple of weeks ago, and it was such a relief to see it all going ok, after I'd been panicking about every little thing. The only thing I can say is, you'll never be able to stop yourself googling, but try to remember, the things that end up on the internet are usually the most extreme cases, and the majority of folks who are in the middle don't get as much webspace :-) Look after you, listen to your body if you need to sleep/rest.

If it helps, are you in a position to go see the GP/make an appointment with the midwife yet? Sometimes talking practical stuff with them can really reassure you you're completely normal and doing all the right things- or it did for me anyway!

Hope you have a wonderful christmas with your DH, and that you get some wonderful new year news! <3 xxxxx

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Thank you. Your reply is exactly what I needed to hear.

I’m not sure my gp would be much use and with my last bfp my midwife didn’t seem to take my anxieties very seriously, just said it was understandable. When I found out we’d had another mmc I rang her and left a message to tell her but she never rang back or anything. I think I may end up giving Tommy’s a call though.. xx

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I feel the same, it's so hard not to think the worst of everything. I've had intermittent nausea and slight headaches too. You just never know what you should be feeling. I've tried to stay away from google and looking everything up as it is a mind f##k and you aren't doing yourself any good. My scan isn't for a little while yet so you'll have peace of mind then. Try to relax and enjoy Christmas with your little miracle xxxxx

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If you can stay away from google then you have more willpower than me. I even keep searching on here lol.

You know I’m really pleased for you. Enjoy your little miracle too if you can xx

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What your feeling is totally normal. I had no symptons at all and after miscarriage and 7 rounds of IVF I stressed all the time. If it helps once I realised I would feel like that till birth and that was ok/understandable in the circumstances I felt a bit better. I tried to break the 40 weeks down into smaller milestones and that seemed to help. Don't beat yourself up for feeling like this but do try relax. 9 months feels like a long road but you can and will get there 😊😊😊😊 good luck x x

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9 months feels a lifetime away! January the 3rd is bad enough lol. I’m just breaking it down into day by day xx

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It's not surprising you're feeling anxious, I feel anxious all the time and I haven't even been through half the things you have to get here, so I really do feel for you xx everything you've described sounds like really positive symptoms to me...for me the main reassurance that there's something going on in there is the immense tiredness! I've never felt this tired in my life (and I used to work crazy 18 hour shifts 7 days a week all summer as a yacht stewardess to the rich and famous! Exhausting!!) so...id say your tiredness and napping is a good thing! Wishing you all the very best Vicky, you truly deserve this, I have everything crossed and positive vibes for you xx ❤️

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Thank you so much and thanks for the reassurance xx

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Your post could have been written by my wife roughly 9 months ago in those first few weeks after the BFP.

We spent pretty much ALL the pregnancy anxious, don't worry about being anxious, after all you've been through, you have every right to be!

You worry about the 7 week scan, then the 12, then the 21, and worry about the birth, it never really stops.

All I can say, with my 5 week old girl, my wife and I were playing with her on a playmate the other day and , sure you'll always have the normal worries of any parent, but that 'IVF- It's bound to go wrong' worry was finally gone. We never managed to really enjoy our pregnancy, but do try Tugsgirl!

Wishing you a great Christmas and a healthy newborn in the new year! xx

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Thank you so much. Very touching reply, thank you. Merry Christmas to you and your little family xx

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Oh Vicky these thoughts and feelings are completely normal especially after all you have been through. Also I do think symptoms come and go, I drove myself crazy because I didn't have any morning sickness I wasn't even nauseous. I just had fuller boobs, more tired than usual. I thought I had my anxiety under control but it's back with a vengeance this week convincing myself of all sorts of things. I must be getting on my husbands nerves. Sending you lots of love and hugs xxx

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I’m sorry I didn’t see this message before. I don’t know how I missed it!

The boobs are under scrutiny today. Don’t feel as sore this morning so I’ve been googling and actually found it was quite common so I feel better about that.

I’m sorry your anxiety is back. It’s not nice or easy xx

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Hey lovely. Congratulations first of all, it’s so lovely to hear your cycle was a success! Being scared is completely normal. I was petrified even when I was in labour. I remember waiting for my viability and I was so scared throughout. Also after that for the 12 weeks and then the 20 and really all the way through!!!

As for sickness, just to reassure you, I was exactly the same. Really sick for a couple of days and then fine for a couple of days. hCG multiplies every couple of days so when your body gets used the the level you feel better and then worse again when it rises.

Try to enjoy this time, although I know how hard it is. You have the greatest Christmas pressie growing inside you this year so just try and let go of the worries for now and enjoy Christmas. The anxiety will come in waves and then go and that’s normal. Just try and be mindful of it and understand where it is coming from. And know that even though you are anxious about something going wrong- it doesn’t mean it will! Congrats again- such lovely news xxx

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Thank you for the reassurance and the tips. I’ll do my best. Merry Christmas to you xx

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Hi Tugsgirl,

If that can reassure you, I feel exactly the same and it is driving me mad. I also have a strong and very unpleasant metallic taste in my mouth. Some days it is the only symptom I have. Some other I feel I can’t digest and have mild headaches. Sometimes I am tired but it’s rare. However I am in bed for 9pm or 9.30pm at the latest as I often fall asleep on the sofa. My boobs are heavy but not painful. I can see the veins getting bigger. Sometimes I am praying for then to hurt me. Just to feel reassured about this pregnancy. This is madness!

I am still in doubt about this pregnancy. Is it working or am I again having a miscarriage as the other symptoms are mild? Is this a sign of miscarriage?

(I had a lot of nausea with a previous pregnancy but this ended up in a miscarriage. So strength of symptoms might not mean anything).

This all the questions that goes trough my mind every day... so I completely get it when you talk about anxiety.

I suppose we need to take it easy and take each day as it comes (more easy say than done). As my husband says “ you are pregnant until proven wrong”.

I wish you all the best with your pregnancy and I hope you will find a way to relax and enjoy the Christmas season. Take care 💖

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Your hubby is right, you’re pupo, so am I. It’s reassuring I’m not the only experiencing all this. I definitely feel less alone than yesterday and a little less anxious.. Merry Christmas xx

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Ah, so sorry that you are having a tough time at the moment. It’s been so difficult for you to get to this stage that it’s no wonder you’re anxious. I’d be the same.

The days are ticking down quickly until scan day though and it’ll be here soon to reassure you. Sending positive thoughts your way xx

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I think I need an advent calendar to get me through the days to appointments lol. Thank you xx

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Hey, my symptoms were like yours, mild and not the same each day. The peak of my tiredness came at 8 weeks, wow those days at work were hard. I’m 19 weeks now and have my 20 weeks scan next week. I’m so anxious. I only told work last week as I couldn’t come to terms with saying ‘I’m pregnant’ for fear of it all being taken away from me. I wouldn’t wish this anxiety on anyone and it really does make time stand still. I hope you and your hubby can take pleasure in the simple things each day and suddenly you will be like me and think wow this could really be happening! I just wish we would dare to believe as I’ve read anxiety isn’t good for the baby. I hope the 3rd comes round in a blink of an eye for you ❤️

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Can’t wait to be able to begin to believe it could really be happening for me too.. Thanks for the message and Merry Christmas to you xx

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All totally normal I felt the way you did forever until. Felt him move then I panicked when I didn't. I'm home now using amieras tablet which great. You know where I am. Keep your chin up lovely. Keep strong. Pleased you got your 3+ too have a lovely Christmas xxx

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I’ll message you soon.. glad to hear you’re home 🏡 👍🏻

Yes I’m anxious 90% of the time. My symptoms vary in strength from day to day, blowing hot and cold. But I remember what you said about getting a 3+ so that made me feel a bit better.. temporarily 😂😂 xx

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Hormones can send you totally crackers!! Am hoping your anxiety settles down and wishing you all the best for your scan xx

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Merry Christmas and a Happy New... Be blessed forever

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