Anyone else finding Christmas bitter ... - Fertility Network UK

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Anyone else finding Christmas bitter sweet?

Sunshine92
Sunshine92
19 Replies

I put my Christmas tree up this morning, drank hot chocolate, had a Christmas playlist on .. its normally my favourite thing to do in the year .. but I just wasn’t feeling it 😔

This time last year I was convinced that when i did this again there would be a little baby sleeping away next to us as we did all these things.

Trying my hardest not be a scrooge and enjoy all the celebrations but I can’t help but feel down that its a time for a family and i’m so desperate for one of my own. Can anyone else relate? So sorry to be a Debbie Downer 😔 xx

19 Replies
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Niki_B

I dont even put up a tree anymore, and I live halfway across the world from any of my family. I hate xmas. But at least its summer here in New Zealand 😊 and at least I can drink xmas away till my first FET in January. (2 failed fresh cycles this year so yeah it's been tough) so I shall drink and be merry that's as far as xmas goes for me! lol. I know exactly how you feel, sending you a massive hug 🤗🤗😘 xxx

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Klndmr

I know how you feel. Christmas used to be my favourite time of the year.. Last yeari found out im pregnant on the 17th of December and i was over the moon but ended at the a&e on Christmas eve and then bled for a month it was the worst time of my life... I've lots the baby at 8 weeks.. This Christmasim im due to start my first ivf cycle which im excited for but don't feel any Christmas mood at all yet...

We will get there and next Christmas there will be a little sweet thing sleeping next to our Christmas trees 😍😍😍❤❤❤❤xxx

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Cinderella5

I usually get excited for Christmas and love putting my tree up, I take ages and always so proud of how it looks and this year I can't even be bothered to pull it out so yes completely get where you're coming from. I just feel that without little ones around what's the bloody point!😔 I'll maybe manage to get some enthusiasm up at some point but for now I'm just fed up too so joining you in your pity party! Ha ha ha Think we're just needing a kick up the arse!xx

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gcw104

Last year putting the tree up was exhausting I was an emotional wreck just lost my baby at 12w, my first mc hit me hard had another one in July. I’m pregnant again 7w but it could go either way have a shitty xmas/NY or a really good one will have to just wait and see.

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Sunshine92

Ahh ladies. Glad its not just me xx

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Kyell2

Yes, it’s tough to get excited about everything. For the last 2 years it’s been a bit bittersweet and a bit of pretending to be happy has been necessary...but what choice do we have but to fake it 😔.

I hope that it starts to look up soon...and like Nikib said until then there’s always alcohol!

Sending hugs xx

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Lyn84

Totally feel the same wasnt even going to put a tree up as i just couldnt be bothered with it all like you i thought this xmas would be different i got pregnant in the summer but had a miscarriage so seeing everyone with their kids getting excited about xmas just makes me sad but i go for my ivf consultation tomorrow so i hope that will be good news and will cheer me up in time for xmas

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Wils89

Yes! I have had a year of 'hopefully this will be the last'. Last Christmas for 2, last summer holiday for 2 etc. It's hard when things dont go as we envisioned. Howfully we will all find some joy and peace at some point this Christmas and be swept up in the magic of others around us.

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Sfarre

Yep, Christmas is so hard. I'm not feeling it at all this year, after a very difficult and frankly pretty traumatic time last Christmas. I've had multiple years of people saying super 'helpful' things like 'maybe you'll have one next xmas' etc etc. Doesn't help that I have about a zillion nieces and nephews to rub things in my face all the time over the festive f-ing season!

My OH and I decided to sack off regular family Christmas all together this year, and I have a feeling it was an excellent decision. We have booked into a fancy spa hotel for three nights (very reasonable rates actually, I was most surprised). We have also said to family no gifts at all this year. Might be the only year we can do this, but why not eh? My mum might be a bit sulky about it but I'm now very much looking forward to our nice and relaxing break away all from the madness!

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Phillipsjp

Hi hunny I think I’m one of those oddities where no matter what I go through in life I still always love Christmas and although I would love nothing more than a little one I literally make our house look like Santa’s grotto! I like it to be cosy and homely for both me and my OH, we’re all so busy all year and Christmas is one of the only times we get some real peace and quite and it’s my OH birthday on Christmas Day so I like it to still be special.infertility robs so much from us I won’t let it take my love of Christmas, even though I won’t be able to escape IVF, after our failed cycle in September I start injections again on Christmas Day, what are the chances! I can understand why others struggle but I do love it 😘 x x x

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Masha111
Masha111
in reply to Phillipsjp

I agree. You have your homes, your jobs, your OH, food, gas, electricity, clean water, there are those that dont even have this. So although it heartbreaking not having a child at christmas time, dont lose the fact that you have the above. Still have your christmas. Dont give up hope or belief or faith...it will happen. Everything is a test.

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Lizzielizzielizzie

I started injections on Xmas day last year and I’m 39 weeks pregnant today. Those injections might be your best Xmas present to yourself in 2019! Xxx

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Phillipsjp

I bloody hope so lol! Wow 39 weeks already, that seems to have gone so fast! I hope your feeling ok x x

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MrsAdzee

Definitely. Christmas is a difficult time. I find myself over compensating and really trying to get in the festive spirit for the sake of others. Not feeling it at all deep down. Oh if things could be different xx

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Em2405

Yeah it’s a hard time of year. If all goes to plan with my IVF collection and transfer I will have to do HPT on Christmas Eve so feeling apprehensive about that because it was such a blow last time when it was negative 👎🏻

I’ve put the decs up but can’t quite get myself in the Christmas mood. So many years I’ve said that next Christmas there will be 3 of us instead of 2 ☹️.

Baby dust to you all and let’s hope for some Christmas miracles. Xx

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GiantPanda

So glad to know it's not just me feeling like this. I didn't put decs up last year either. We don't live near any friends, so it's quite easy to 'opt out'. Will be avoiding NYE too, although looking forward to seeing the back of 2018. Am I right, or am I right?! Hopefully next year we can all feel differently. X

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Dunla

It’s definitely bitter sweet. My husband and I always say things to each other like “next Christmas will be different” or “next Christmas we’ll have a little one to wrap presents for”. I can completely relate to how you are feeling. It’s the hardest time of year for us for sure. Sending you a big big hug xx

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silverlini

I can completely relate to this. I could just hide away from Christmas this year as like you I really thought I would have a baby or be pregnant. What’s worse is that I should Be pregnant as I got a positive with my ivf in October, sadly ended in a chemical pregnancy. So it’s just a bit sh*t! I can’t even bring myself to say ‘next year will be different’ as I just don’t know now. Maybe I’ll get into the spirit soon! Haha!!xx

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Justus1

I totally know what you mean. Each year we have never bought a tree in the hope that we would get one once our family come. After my miscarriage earlier this year, I have realised that we can’t stop living. We finally bought one today after 9 years of marriage and 4 year of ttc. It’s all up and every time I looked at it today. It made me smile. That has to be a good thing 🌲

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