4dp5dt - unconsciously planning my next FET! Why?!

[CatDV]

Hello everyone

I had a failed fresh cycle at the beginning of the month and I am today 4dp5dt after my FET last Monday.

My husband picked me up from work today and during the journey I was telling all the research I’ve done at lunch time for my next FET:

- benefits of endo scratch

- higher success rates with clexane/seteroids

- I even looked at prices for flights to the Czech Republic where our clinic is.

He didn’t say anything until I finished an then I looked at me with a concerned face and said:

- why are you giving up this cycle? Are you assuming it has failed already?

I didn’t realised before, but he is so right! My brain is probably so used to failure and to plan the next step that I am planing my next FET 4 days only after my last transfer!

I stopped now and will try to find something more positive to think about xxx

[Hidden]

Good luck for this cycle. If anything your research has at least taken your mind off things for a while. Fingers crossed xxx

[CatDV in reply to Hidden]

Thank you!

Maybe it has.

Good luck to you too xx

[Hidden in reply to CatDV]

Thank you. Fingers crossed for us all x

[Waterfall2]

I can't really talk from experience but I guess you are just trying to protect yourself. Hope for the best plan for the worst, as the saying goes.

I don't think you can ever have too much knowledge but I really hope you don't need it. Fingers crossed for you.

[CatDV in reply to Waterfall2]

Thank you

[Kari55]

My counsellour explained to me that this is self-regulation in order to reduce the painful experience. I was doing exactly the same and unfortunately got BFN. It probably still hurt the same if I were positive.

Try to do some breathing and relax into it. Fingers crossed for for a positive result xxx

[CatDV in reply to Kari55]

That is very interesting Kari, thank you.

I agree so much with you... we try to prepare for the bad news, but are we ever prepared? It will still hurt! Better just to be happy and positive until we know for sure it’s negative.

I just need to learn how to change my mind setting

[Tugsgirl]

Sounds normal to me. I always feel better with a back up plan, it’s like a safety net. Good luck for otd though and hopefully you won’t need your plan b xx

[CatDV in reply to Tugsgirl]

Thanks Tugsgirl

I wish if we had to go through IVF for sure it would work, so we wouldn’t have to to keep thinking this way and could enjoy the moment more. But hey, who said life is easy?

Xx

[Hidden]

It’s such a difficult journey & we have to try to self protect at times. I was always planning my next step- I told myself I had 5 more rounds of clomid & a round of ivf & it made me feel calmer that we had options available. I swear the calmness & the fact I told myself I tried my best & that was good enough helped us get a positive test. I also tried to feel hopeful until I had a reason not to be. It’s a balancing act! 2WW is not easy...

It’s good to have a “back up plan” but hopefully you won’t need it! I do agree with your hubby positivity is important with this cycle too 🙂 I’ve heard FET are more successful than fresh as there is less stress on the body.

You are definitely pregnant until proven otherwise.

Got everything crossed for you for this cycle to work 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻✨✨❤️❤️ xoxo

[CatDV in reply to Hidden]

So sweet as always Jess 😊

Your words are very much appreciated xx

[Hidden in reply to CatDV]

🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻 for you,it will happen for you, sometimes it is hard to believe it but keep going you will get there ✨✨❤️Good luck xoxo 😘

[Hidden]

I do this too! I was talking to my doctor today about my next FET in November and I asked him if the hospital would be open in December for my following FET! I realised I'd already ruled out the November one working. It's definitely self protection and it's normal after so much disappointment to become used to that. It will just make that BFP when it comes all the more sweeter. Xx

[precioce]

I think this is our mind's way of protecting ourselves. Good luck for this round.xx