Need advice: Hello I'm kind of new to... - Fertility Network UK

Fertility Network UK

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Need advice


Hello I'm kind of new to this but I'm indeed of a bit of advice. So I've been with my fiance for 4 years and we've been trying to get pregnant for 2 of those years, unfortunately this hasn't happened naturally which caused me to seek medical help. I saw my doctor on plenty of different occasions and I was later diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome. We was told that it would be impossible to ever conceive our own baby naturally, this is a really heart braking thing to be told as I've always thought my purpose in life was to be a mother. For about 8-9 months now I've been researching ivf and I came across this page, I want to know is it worth going down the ivf path and how hard/stressful is it? I really want to fulfil my dream of having a baby and I feel like this is the only option left for us both.

24 Replies

I have heard of people with pcos who have been able to conceive naturally. However I believe that it is more difficult. Your research will have shown you successes and heartache probably. Hopefully someone here can share some information with you. Good luck and welcome to the forum xx

Caitjam123 in reply to Camillage

I've heard of people aswell but I got told I couldn't have children 2 years ago and there's still no signs of me conceiving, it's sad when it's the only thing you think about isn't it xx

Camillage in reply to Caitjam123

It definitely is. But there is always a way xx

So sorry to hear your story so far.

And to be told you won't conceive naturally is so heart breaking (I know). I don't have pos but do have to have ivf/ICSI to concieve.

It's absolutely worth looking in to and visiting some clinics and speaking to specialists, it will help.

There's still hope 💖xx

Caitjam123 in reply to genten

Thank you, it's so hard especially when everybody around you seems to be getting pregnant and I'm not even though it's the 1 thing I want the most, I'm going to see my doctor to see if there is anyone they can refer me to as I don't get any help now as I was discharged and told there wasn't anything more they could do for me xxx

genten in reply to Caitjam123

It is, really really.

You just have to take it day by day.

I know, I think we all here want this the most.

If you don't mind me asking, are you in the UK and have your tests so far been with NHS? Xx

Caitjam123 in reply to genten

No I don't mind you asking, yeah I'm in the UK and they was all done with the nhs I've been passed from pillar to post, the doctors passed me to the hospital then I went to a different hospital and know I've been told there is nothing more thay can be done and I've just got to let nature take its toll, it's really hard to live with sometimes xx

genten in reply to Caitjam123

Oh gosh! I would go back to GP someone who knows your history so far and see if you qualify for ivf on NHS or has that been discussed already?

Aww 😥 I know it is. So sorry.

Don't give up though there is hope and you have a chance, it may just take longer than you thought. Xxx

Hi hun, I'm sorry you find yourself in such a heart breaking position! I believe there can be light at the end of every tunnel but sometimes the path to get to our destination doesnt look the way we expected which is so tough to get our heads around.

I know someone with PCOS who tried to conceive naturally for 9 years with no success until she was prescribed clomid. She then had 2 children from clomid and a third naturally.

I understand everyone is different - clomid didn't work for me but I have a different issue - though it's less invasive so maybe worth talking to your doctor about before ivf?

As for ivf, yes, it can be tough and it's a very personal decision but if you and your partner feel up for it it's definitely worth a shot when other options have been exhausted.

Best wishes to you, whatever you decide xx

Caitjam123 in reply to Pookymama

I had Clomid and it didn't work, I also was prescribed a mini pill that would make me have a period, due to my PCOS I don't have natural periods so I needed medication to help me however this didn't work so now I feel as if I'm stuck in this ditch that I can't get myself out of, it's really hard at the minute xxx

What’s the reason why your doctor said you cant conceive naturally? I have PCOS and have been off the pill and trying for 5 years but not any doctor has said I found never be able to conceive naturally. Do you have cycles? It’s a hard journey, me and my partner considered ivf as an option a few years ago but decided it wasn’t for us, I don’t think I could cope with the stress and the worry I case it didn’t work. I still hope that one day it will happen for us 😊🙏🏻

Caitjam123 in reply to Bella_12

No I don't have many period cycles naturally I need medication to help me as I got told my ovaries are functioning as a young child so every time I am meant to have a cycle it doesn't work and causes more cysts xxx

Please don’t give up hope hun. Hubby and I have been trying for 5 years, and I was diagnosed with pcos also. They told me it could be very hard to conceive naturally. I have been on various medications to help ovulation and been through a fresh and frozen cycle of ivf where I didn’t fall pregnant.

3 months after our frozen cycle, while we were on a break and deciding what our next steps were going to be - I fell pregnant naturally. I’m am now 11 weeks. It’s truly a miracle and I just want to tell everyone to never give up on your dreams of becoming a parent xx

Caitjam123 in reply to ChloBo84

Congratulations that's so amazing xxx

ChloBo84 in reply to Caitjam123

Thank you so much. I still have to pinch myself every day to make sure it’s actually real and not some horrible joke ☺️

I really hope that what ever paths your journey now goes on, it gets you there.

I know the road can be so hard sometimes and the wait can be agonising.

Don’t give up hun ❤️


Go for it! It is a bit stressful, but at least it's a step in the right direction for what you want and it gives you a chance, I wish I would have started this journey earlier ♥️ xxx

Hi and welcome, I’m in a similar boat, my my partner also has fertility issues, so we are going down the ivf root. I have heard of people falling pregnant naturally, but can’t talk from experience. Good luck what ever path you choose xxx

Ok, my cycles use to be all over the place, for 1 year I had nothing for another 2 years they were all over the place it’s only the last couple of years where they have been regular, although my luteal phase is still quite short. My doctor gave me metformin, is that an option for you? It’s so frustrating seeing other people with babies and pregnant, I can’t help but feel jealous and think whys it they work properly and I don’t!☹️

Caitjam123 in reply to Bella_12

Hello I've already had metformin 500mg and they didn't do anything for me, ok think these medications work for some people but not for others, it's hard isn't it hun when it's all you want and everyone around you is pregnant xx

I am the biggest wimp and never thought that I could ever go through ivf, I agreed with my OH that we would just take it 1 step at a time and if I wanted to stop at anytime then we would. It isn't an easy process, but it is ok, and to be honest it's made me feel like maybe I am not a complete wimp ☺I would say it's also brought me and OH closer so I have no regrets doing it. I definitely think it's worth trying and u will get loads of support on here too xo

Personally I would say that infertility is harder than ivf. If you really want a baby then you need to know you’ve done everything you can and that will give you the strength to cope with the indignities and side effects of ivf. However, there are no guarantees and it doesn’t work for everyone so do your research about success rates (they’re much lower than most people think). The hardest part of ivf is the disappointment when it doesn’t work, but as I say, at least you know you tried.

Hi just came across your post, the first sentence really resonated in my head.

We have 19 days to make our minds up about IVF...

This helps🤗

Hi there, I agree with all the comments above. Although we've just been told we have unexplained infertility we've been trying to conceive for 2.5 years. We feel pregnant naturally last year but sadly lost it at 11wks. I'm 39 so wasnt entitled to any NHS support for IVF where we live (wrongly it's a postcode lottery in the UK about the cut off age) so we had to factor cost in too. Just making you aware that may be something to consider but if you're much younger I'm sure you'll be fine. I would advise to be pushy with the GP though as waiting lists can be long x

We were told that the chances of us conceiving naturally were not impossible but very low. We have never had a natural pregnancy and had 6 rounds of treatment to get our baby - I am 32 weeks now with a little girl. It was a really tough journey, I am not going to lie. At times I did not want to carry on, but now we are nearly there I am very glad we did. I can only suggest to keep talking to your partner and to be very kind to yourself. Best of luck.xx

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