I feel silly because Iām grieving for something I never had, I donāt really know how to express my feelings and my family doesnāt understand so Iām just really moody and lashing out at everyone, Iāve got tomorrow and Tuesday off so I can at least enjoy some me time, since I know I havenāt conceived this month I can sweat out my frustration and grief in the gym.
This is so frustrating and just when I think I am emotionally healing enough to start our next cycle I get the fear and something stops me, I just donāt feel strong enough to go through it again for it to not work, I couldnāt bear another heartache like this but at the same time I know we need to be able to take the help we need to have a baby š¢
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Sarah_a_2018
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I understand completely but having said that you have to ask yourself if your fear of another failure is stronger than your desire to have a baby. Itās that desire that will drive you forward. You can do this šŖš» xx
I totally understand. A work colleague got pregnant naturally at exactly the same time that we were going through our first failed cycle. It was torture having to watch her bump grow, thinking of what could have been. She even ended up having it on what would have been our due date.
Sheās just about to return to work after a year off on maternity and weāre still childless. For my own sanity I have to give myself some space.
I hope you manage to really enjoy the wedding and your emotions donāt get the better of you. Itās totally ok to feel the way you do xx
It is a form of grief so never feel that you are not entitled to feel sadness. Of course you are. That round of ivf symbolised a possible future.
I guess just do the bridesmaid things you have to do, enjoy the occasion as much as you can.
I had ivf counselling after my first round was unsuccessful and it helped because the counsellor was there to listen to me and allowed me to put myself and my feelings first. Have you looked into this?
Wishing you all the best. Try to keep positive. I know it's hard. It's the hardest thing ever. Hope it happens for you!
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