Social media : It’s my own fault I... - Fertility Network UK

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CBOO1
CBOO1

It’s my own fault I should know just not to go on any of them by now but I went on Facebook for literally 5 seconds at work today, first post I’m greeted with - photo of a boy wearing - Being promoted to big brother in February 2019. 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

Just thought I’d have a quick look on Instagram before bed as that’s usually safer & obviously I don’t want to see the other post again....... guess what, first post is a baby grow & one of those light up word box things - Baby Due February from someone else entirely!!!!

WTF?!!!! Why can’t I just come off these things all I do is moan about them & get upset by all the baby posts anyway?!!

My boyfriend says I’ll feel differently when it’s our time but I’m not sure I will put anything on anywhere as I know what it feels like to be in this position now!

🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

11 Replies
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Been there! I came off Facebook for about a year because of it. I will not be posting anything on Facebook about my pregnancy because I know how much it can sting others. If you have not been through this journey you don’t understand it. Wishing u luck on your journey for your bfp xxx

I completely avoided Facebook too and even unfollowed a few people while they got their new baby photo splurges out of the way. My other social media is baby free, fortunately, so I could still get my fix 🤣

It really sucks & you are definitely not alone here xx

Know how you feel. It never used to bother me but now it really upsets me. Partly because I'm going through fertility treatment and partly because even if I am lucky enough to get pregnant i would not have the confidence to plaster it on social media as I would be so terrified the whole pregnancy of something going wrong. Those who just get pregnant will never understand our difficulties. I haven't come off social media but I do just have to scroll past pregnancy posts. One of our friends who has recently become pregnant hasn't posted a thing and I've been so grateful xx

I haven’t posted anything on social media at all about my pregnancy because of the fear of upsetting someone. But I tried hard to always remind myself that I didn’t want someone else’s baby and I didn’t want anyone else to go through what I was going through. I used to chant this like a mantra and it did mostly get me through, apart from the odd bad day. If you really don’t want to give up social media (I couldn’t!) then maybe try these mantras for yourself?

I really loved your reply! Yes, I mean who would want anyone to go through this pathetic feeling of disappointment, insanity, irk, grief and what not.... it's just hard to stay level headed at times. I had the meet-ups to help me cope as well as feel less miserable about others' pregnancy, it helped me like your mantras, I don't feel bad or self-pity over the baby news these days. Mantra, gossip, blog, counselling whatever helps you is good to go with.

I came off Facebook about a year ago for the same reason, I would feel emotionally fine and then after 2 minutes on Facebook I would be upset and crying. I use Instagram now for my fix, I haven't connected my contacts so I can avoid a lot of my "friends" who are likely to post something stupid and just add the people who I care about. I communicate a lot via WhatsApp these days which is a lot more of a healthy environment.

I go through phases of being ok about it all and then all this social media posts affecting me badly. Our first round of IVF failed at the weekend and we have no frozen embryos so have to start again. Feeling very delicate. Then yesterday I had a message completely out of the blue from a friend who emigrated to Australia and i haven't heard from in about a year with a video of his new baby. Then my 23 year old NIECE texted me to tell me she was pregnant and the old scan photos have gone up on FB today. Really struggling. Trying to be happy for people but just feel so so sad. One of my friends really struggled to conceive and struggled with all the FB posts about babies. But as soon as she had her baby (first IVF successful) she has bombarded FB with photos of her kid, and still insists of showing me photos of her almost every day even though she knows we are struggling with fertility too. People just don't think.

Welcome to the feeling pathetic squad! I guess all of struggling to have a baby can relate to this very vividly. Yes, your bf is absolutely right this will pass too when you'll have a baby of your own. I mean I go through this every day and started digging on ways to not bog down by other's Baby bump updates... I came across this very interesting meet-ups and blogs that helped me stay level-headed a bit. It's just psychology... plain psychology.... had you been pregnant or had a kid of your own these updates would go unnoticed but now they literally honk at you. It's same like you see happy couples around when you're single and singles seem happier when you're on the other side.... the numbers don't change abruptly it's just a perception. I can tell you a few blogs or discuss personally (if you wany) on how you can channel the other's success with getting pregnant to find strength and hope for yourself... if that helps. I eventually learned to do that. I guess I love to read success stories here as well, no matter if it's relevant to my problems with getting pregnant or not. Remember, if they can you can too... just a matter of time... some insane stretch of time. Sending love and good luck across to you!

I quit Facebook two years ago because of all the baby posts. One of the best things I ever did. I don’t think I will ever go back. I think it’s terrible for our mental health even without the infertility!

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I am so glad I never signed up for facebook! It has been so liberating! I don't have to see any baby announcements, smug couple photos, baby showers etc!

Just delete it! You will feel amazing. Real friends will find you the traditional ways.

Go old skool 😎

Can totally relate to this! During my first failed round I struggled like mad with seeing pregnancy announcements, birth announcements etc so knowing my frozen cycle was coming up I deactivated my Facebook account for about 6 months and I was so much more relaxed and coincidentally our frozen cycle worked.

I did go back on Facebook when I was so far in my pregnancy but not to post pregnancy stuff. I must admit I do post pics of my little one now at the zoo, on his birthday or at Christmas etc for mainly family we don’t see often to see but that’s it.

It is a horrible seeing it all the time. Best thing to do is come off it completely and deactivate your account (say to yourself its for a short period and see how you get on) or unfollow people (I have a few...!) so you don’t see what they post.

It’s the only way! 🙂

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