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Fertility Network UK
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BFN, unsuccessful 1st cycle and AF bleed before OTD

Hey everyone,

So today is OTD and it’s A BFN

I suspected it I guess but it’s still heartbreaking when it’s confirmed. Brown spotting on Friday turned to AF yesterday with severe cramps. I think I’ve cried every day for the past 6.

We weren’t lucky enough to have any embies to freeze which is so gutting and means we have to go through the whole full cycle again, the last one on the NHS.

I’m not sure I know how to pick myself up, I honestly can’t even deal with seeing a pregnant women walk past or people with babies even in my own family. I guess I just need to deal with it, but this process just seems hopeless.

Good luck to you all on your journeys, and may you get your BFPs. I’ll be back when we are ready for a new cycle :(

Xx

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Sorry to hear. Hope you are ok x

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Thank you, it’s so heartbreaking. I’m not sure anything prepares you for it, and I wish I knew the magic recipe to make all the parts fit together for a successful outcome.

Fingers crossed for your BFP on test day xxx 🤞

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Awww hunny. I'm so sorry 😢 I just had my first BFN after failed ICSI in April. And we had none to freeze as well 😟 I was absolutely devasted I cried for days...never thought I'd get over and thought no way can i go through this again. Well here I am waiting for my last funded round in a few weeks. And this will be our last shot as I do not have the 10k it cost here in New Zealand for another round. Can't believe im going to put myself through it all again. It's so heartbreaking isn't it sweetie. I'm so sorry, be kind to yourself these next few weeks, spoil yourself a bit if you can, you deserve it. Sending big hugs all the way from new Zealand 🤗🤗💔💖💕

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Thank you so much for your message, no one really understands this torturous process unless they’ve lived it so it really does help talk talk on here.

It’s so hard to see a positive in all this isn’t it and even harder to think about going through it again .

I’m waiting on a call from the clinic to discuss what happens next. 😔

I’m wishing you every luck in the world with your cycle and that we both gets lots of embies to freeze because it hurts so much more when you only have one try doesn’t it.

Sending massive amounts of luck on your imminent cycle .. I really hope you get your BFP xxxx

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Definately this page has been a god send wish I would have found it before I started my cycle. And your right people don't really understand, you can't, unless you been through it.

Your clinic will probably want you to wait a couple months before you try again, just to get your body back on track and I also think they do it to give you time to grieve. Which makes sense.

Yes I was devastated I had 15 eggs...14 mature...11 fertilised!! Then when I found out there was none good enough to freeze I was devasted! Like what the he'll happened to them all? 😟 well this time around my OH has given up smoking, he's on a men's multi that helps the swimmers, and I'm taking coq10 so I'm hoping that all this will help with embryo quality, i really want at least one to freeze just in case.

Thanks heaps hun I wish you all the best with your next round too, let us get lucky second time around huh 😊 just take some time out for you right now, cry when you need to and i promise you will feel better with a bit of time and be ready for round 2 😁😘😘 ❤

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This page 100% helps to talk to ladies that understand the struggle and feelings completely.

Yeh I thought they may want me to have a couple of normal cycles. People talk about catching naturally after ivf but with my partners speed being the issue I’m not sure we will be that lucky.

I too had 15 eggs, 11 mature, 7 fertilised and only one made it to blasto, and the grading was only 2BB.

If you don’t mind me asking what multi your partner is taking? We read a study that 2,000 mg of vitamin c a day is meant to help so my OT has just started this.

What does CoQ10 do? Maybe I should take this?

To have embryos to freeze would be amazing, it was so hard facing the news that we only had the one shot out of the whole cycle as I’m sure it was for you.

I’m certainly doing a lot of crying. Thanks so much for your encouraging words and advice 😘😘😘.. wishing you all the luck

Xxx

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Wow same with me my OH has low sperm count and motility. Unfortunately I have "tortous" tubes so all long and wonky, chances of me falling pregnant naturally are nil to none.

I'm not sure if you guys have this is in the UK they called "Blackmores conceive well" for men they are less than half the price of menevit (mens version of elevit) but same stuff in it and added ubiquinol and coq10 which is good for men too. So coq10 is a supplement that helps regenerates cells in the body...google coq10 and ivf heaps of info will come up. And Ubiquinol is the more condensed version of coq10 but more expensive but stronger. When you have your follow up at your clinic ask them about it as well they can give you more info about but definately have a look on Google about it. You can get them both at the chemist/pharmacy xxx

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Yes my OT has both low sperm count and motility, so willing to try everything right now. Sorry about your tubes, I’ve not heard of that but I assume it means there is longer for sperm to travel? And with motility issues makes it harder?

I will definitely ask about coq10 at my follow up meeting, still awaiting the clinics call from a few hours ago at the moment.

As well as being immensely emotional it also takes so much time each time doesn’t it and as time goes by it gets harder, it’s like it’s all against us.

Thank you again for your help and advice .. xxx

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Yep you got it lots more bends and turns in the tubes so makes it difficult for the even good swimmers to get there. Just my bloody luck lol.

Yes hun def ask your clinic and do some research on coq10. Also for men they need zinc, some vitamin c and selenium and coq10 is suppose to be good for them too. My OH supplemts has all those goodies in tho, so fingers crossed it helps 😊

Yes luv you will be sad for awhile but that's ok your allowed. Drink wine, eat nice chocolates and just spoil yourself for awhile. You definately deserve. Sending you massive virtual hugs 🤗🤗 xxx

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It’s a nightmare isn’t it.

Thank you I will definitely do some researching and ask the clinic at my appt.

Thank you, a glass of wine would definitely be welcomed for sure 😘😘😘

Xxxx

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This page 100% helps to talk to ladies that understand the struggle and feelings completely.

Yeh I thought they may want me to have a couple of normal cycles. People talk about catching naturally after ivf but with my partners speed being the issue I’m not sure we will be that lucky.

I too had 15 eggs, 11 mature, 7 fertilised and only one made it to blasto, and the grading was only 2BB.

If you don’t mind me asking what multi your partner is taking? We read a study that 2,000 mg of vitamin c a day is meant to help so my OT has just started this.

What does CoQ10 do? Maybe I should take this?

To have embryos to freeze would be amazing, it was so hard facing the news that we only had the one shot out of the whole cycle as I’m sure it was for you.

I’m certainly doing a lot of crying. Thanks so much for your encouraging words and advice 😘😘😘.. wishing you all the luck

Xxx

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Hi, I’m so sorry to read this and I’m sending you a massive hug. I know how you feel as this happened to my husband I in our first cycle. I remember that awful pain like it was yesterday.

Be good to yourself and let all your tears out. Have a drink - you’ll need it, and when your ready, try to do something fun.

During your follow up meeting at the clinic ask all the questions that you need answered then.

We are currently in the middle of our second cycle and this time has been much more positive. I began acupuncture and have not been as strict on myself as I was during our first cycle. We now have 3 frozen blastocysts.

The feelings you are experiencing now are completely normal.

Thinking of you xxxxx

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Hey Jadestar

Thank you for your lovely message. And I really do wish you masses of luck in your cycle.

Can I ask what it is you did differently on your second cycle to help it become more positive as in willing to try anything, and also can you explain the acupuncture process and what it does?

Thank you once again for you message, I have everything crossed for you

Xxxx

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Of course. We have unexplained infertility, which is bloody frustrating in itself as nobody can tell us exactly what’s wrong.

For preparation for our first cycle, I put myself on a strict Mediterranean diet (for about 6 months) and bought every vitamin booster I could get my hands on. I also cut out coffee and alcohol completely. My husband stopped smoking and cut back on his drinking. We both did more exercise and tried to de stress our lives. I was convinced IVF would work for us and it was a complete disaster (first time round). My husband and I were so low.

This time, I’ve drank white wine occasionally and been a lot more relaxed with my diet. I’ve forced myself to chill out more. My husband (although I’m not entirely happy with this) has started smoking again. Idiot! After 7 months too! 🙈

However, we successfully have 4 top quality blastocysts this time round??? I have no idea why? But obviously we are delighted.

I read about how acupuncture can help egg quality and your blood flow towards your womb etc... so I phoned my local osteopaths and booked my first appointment. The lady I got was brilliant as I was completely honest with her why I was there. She informed me that they get lots of woman in for the same fertility acupuncture treatment. She gave me a treatment that would best suit our situation and relax me.

The needles, I surprisingly found, did relax me and I didn’t find any of them painful on my front. A few in the lower part of my back were a bit uncomfortable but she assured me that is quite normal. I went one a week and once I started injections again we started a slightly different programme with more needles in my feet and stomach area.

Hope this helps. I did go a little wild when our first cycle failed. E.g, out for pub lunches a lot & we went to Amsterdam for a 5 day break 🥂🍹🍺

Sending you all the best for your next try lovely 🤗😘 xxxx

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Thank you so much for your message. And it’s so hard when you can’t do anything about what’s making you Infertile as a couple, I wish for us that there was a magic pill for speed count and quality.. but giving vitamin C a go.

I will definitely try the acupuncture as I do get very stressed very easily so maybe this will help, do you do this for months before and during your ivf cycle? I’m willing to try anything.

I too plan to limit alcohol to the occasional glass.

Your outcome is amazing to have 4 top quality, I hope we get this lucky next time around (when I can face it). Even to have some to freeze would be amazing based on nothing this time.

I wish you so much luck with your cycle .. 😘😘😘 xxxxx

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Aww Im sorry, this happened to me in both my NHS cycles and its gutting! Im not sure where we find the strength from to pick ourselves up to try again but we do. For now, allow yourselves time to grieve, hold onto each other tight and plan something nice to do together, maybe see if you can get away together in a few weeks. Lots of love & hugs.xx

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Thank you for your message, it certainly is hard to see the light at the minute. Feeling so low and hopeless.

I really wish there was something I could do to just boost and improve my partners sperm count and quality so that we could at least have a chance naturally too.

Thanks you again and wishing you every luck with your current cycle in your 2ww.

Xxxxx

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I know, I feel the same. We also have sperm issues and my age certainly doesnt help that's for sure! Thank you for the good wishes....need all the luck I can get!xx

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I read that 2,000 mg Vitamin C daily is meant to increase sperm count and quality by 100% after a few months, it may be clutching at straws but we are giving it a go.

Got everything crossed for you 🤞🤞

Xxxx

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We've tried this along with CoQ10, although only 1000 of Vit C as per out NHS consultant....didnt make any difference unfortunately. We got told there wasnt anything to help numbers but that this may help quality!xx

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It’s so unfair isn’t it that there is nothing medical to help with low sperm. I read a study that suggested 1,000 twice daily had improved count and quality in the men tested, I know it’s a long shot but worth a go along side this torturous process I guess.

I’ve not heard of CoQ10.

Xxx

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Defo worth a shot even although it didnt help with us!xx

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It’s really hard. People just don’t realise. Sorry about your bfn. I’m glad to hear you still have another shot on the nhs though xx

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Hey thank you for your message, they really don’t understand, even if they think they do.

Thank you and wishing you every success on your ivf journey xxxx

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I’m so sorry lovely, I had the same on my first cycle. I found it really hard to deal with and found myself walking down the street in tears. It truly feels like a bereavement and I think that is the best way to deal with it by giving yourself time to grieve, to cry, get angry and in time things will hopefully seem a bit better. Sending hugs xxx

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Hey Ash, thank you for your lovely message, A bereavement is most certainly what it feels like and I pretty much started grieving around 6 days ago and it continues.

Why can’t success rates be so much higher, it heartbreaking it really is.

I really hope your current 2ww brings you your amazing BFP

🤞🤞

Xxxx

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Thanks lovely. I know what you mean! Take care of yourself xxx

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Awwww hun. I'm really sorry to hear this bless ya. Such a heartbreaking journey that no one deserves to go through. Sending you love strength and hugs my love 😘💝

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Thank you lovely for your kind words, it really is a heartbreaking journey. Thank you xxx

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Honest I really feel for what you ladies go through, I was looking through some stories /posts last night and I just cried. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make everyone's dreams come true. So so difficult that most just don't understand, try and treat yourself hun to something you really enjoy. Grieve and I pray and hope your next go brings you the success you so deserve. Lots of hugs and love hun 😘💝💕

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Thank you so much, such kind words, I really do hope and pray that we get our miracle I really do. Thank you so much

And masses of good luck to you

Xxx

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Bless ya. Keep strong hun. Always here if you need to chat. 😘

Thanks lovely 💝😘

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Hope you can recover from this and get the strength to do another cycle.

So sorry xxx

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Thank you 😘😘 xxx

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So sorry to hear this hunny, sending you lots of love x x

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Thank you lovely xxx

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Tight tight hugs .. I absolutely understand you as I had my test on Sunday to confirm what I already knew after I AF came on Wednesday evening .. it ended yesterday .. pretty much like my normal flow .. as if nothing even happened in the past month or so .. it’s crazy .. unfortunately I only get 1 try with the NHS in my region ( Leeds) and I had none to freeze either. Again like you , my husband has low sperm and low mortality and I don’t think there’s much they can do about it which is a shame .. but I’m taking some time out and will get back to it in about 5-6 months .. try and get some time to just chill and get your body back to normal .. it will happen for you someday .. for all of us hopefully ❤️❤️

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Awww I’m so sorry you’re also going through this sadness. It’s hard to deal with. I’ve spent the day trying to think of what I can change now to improve our chances. I think busying me is helping deal with it.

It is crazy that we bleed and that’s it, all we’ve been through over the months and that’s it.

Thank you and good luck and hugs 🤗 to you too

Xxxx

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