Hi, Im new here and have never posted on anything like this before but I really need to off load and share what I am going through with other ladies in the same boat. Im 36 and my husband is 38 we have been trying for our first child for 1 1/2 years. I know to some that isnt too long but it feels like a lifetime of living month to month and dealing with the disapointment each time. I have had several friends, family and work colleagues have babies in this time and with every pregnancy announcement i feel so down and jealous. I hate myself for it. Ive been taking clomid for the last 5 months and it is messing with my moods so much. I have days (like today) when i just feel so down and alone, like I am carrying this hidden pain around constantly and everything is an effort. After a day at work with my 'false face' on I just get home and be drained, the tears then start and I cant stop them. Its a horrible hopeless feeling. I dont even know if the clomid is to blame or if it is just the situation of facing infertility that has me feeling so low. Anyway, apologies for this self pity post! I know I am not alone in this. Thanks for taking the time to read this xx
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